I dont know where to begin. So much is going on. It's been a year since my surgery (clipping of subrachnoid bleed of the posterior communicating artery) and things are flipping. The mornings seem to be the time these events take place: It starts with a rush feeling, live beeing reved up, or sticking finger in power outlet. Sometimes arm muschles jump, get cramps in finger, toes, numbness of lips and tongue, eye jumping, stomach ache, nausia, see stars, color shapes, taste blood or iron in mouth, heart races. Not all of the above at the same time, but a couple of them. Each time it varies, the heart racing and the charged feeling is almost constant when ever it happens. I was told by dr it could be and sounded like anxiety. She's the professional, so I don't knock it, but the same time in the morning when it happens (not daily, atleast twice a week). Sometimes, eating or not eating triggers it. I lose time, daydream alot, have a horrible time staying focused, remembering things, and completing simple tasks. I have both laughed and cried at the same time. I have experience heavy limbs, especially legs and now its starting to happen at nite (late nite). I have this horrible sensation of falling, my stomach flips and my heart drops. I'm depressed, yes, but the recent events has caused most of my depression. I was absolutely fine for the first 6-7 months after surgery. I was admitted in the hospital for observation last july, for "Altered Mental State". I'm loosing it. I'm loosing my mind. I'm alone, I have worn out my welcome with the few friends and family that I have. Everyone is nerveous and un-easy around me most of the time. Is this normal? Anyone else experiencing aura's, simple seizures, anxiety or all three? I need help, I need to be able to get a grip on this. Help!!!!!
Hi Mary,
I have the auras, most of the time a severe migraine follows, but, sometimes it's just auras. I just keep going and really don't think about it. I did not have a clipping, but, so much of annie recoveries are very similar. I just tell myself, that it's just another phase of the journey we are making and i'm ok. You may need to be treated for the depression. That's another condition all together and can cause some of these symptoms.
My thoughts and prayers to you and hope to share some encouraging words to help you. Keep posting.
Karen
Hi Mary,
We all have different stress thresholds, we are born with them; you have been through a big trauma and its going to take time to heal. I would ask to be referred to a psychologist. They will be able to direct your fears so that you are able to work through them in your sessions. Talking is very theraputic. Once you can discern the problems you can start to resolve them. Dont worry fear, depression and feelings of madness are just part of the journey. My saving grace was my little dog Amba. Her unconditional love and caring has helped me alot in my journey. Animals are very theraputic. Walking them and the love and gratitude you get back.
Hi Elke,
I would like to send a big hug out to you. You mentioned a point which resonated with me. It is bad enough that we had to go though the shock of knowing you had an Annie and getting it fix but then there is all that other stuff. Doing a Will, thinking about a funeral all these negatives and I think your right when you say it takes a long time for the mind to accept that you are getting better. I am taking each day as it comes but everyday I am feeling a bit lighter. So Thanks Elke.
Hi Mary,
I’m so very sorry to read about the difficulties that you are experiencing.
You have received some good advice from others already. In particular, Elke has given you some very good advice from her own recent experiences. I would also like to suggest that you get your primary care physician involved in your treatment, if you haven’t done so already. I also suggest having the neurologist or an orthopedist check your c-spine. Sometimes when the c-spine is out alignment, you can have some of the symptoms that you described, e.g, dizziness, muscle jumps, cramps/pain/tingling in your finger and toes. Please also research the meds that you are taking for their side effects.
I pray that these issues will be resolved quickly and for God’s peace to be with you.
Take care,
Carole
Thank you Elke
I really needed that. Do you get sharp pains in your head, near site of clipping or around the site? Can you hear your heartbeat when lying down or when voiding? And some days I have a constant ringing in my right ear. I have had 2 ct's since clipping (everything looked great) one EEG (no evidence of seizure activity) and one MRI. But Elke, this is the same senerial prior to my anuerysm. I went to the dr about 7 months prior to the rupture complaining of audible heart beat, pounding heart, ringing ears, and severe dizziness. They performed the same test and found nothing other than a heart murmur which I knew I had to start. I don't think I'm overly worried about having a second annie, they too assured me that it was clipped at the neck and would never cause me any more problems. I stopped planning my funeral and trying to get life insurance after 8 months of trying. Yea, I'll admit my stress is off the chart. I'm a bookkeeper and Im having the worse time keeping up, my boss won't let me rest. I have used up all of my vacation time from the year before and really don't have any left to take. She doesnt have a problem with me using time to go to dr's, just with taking time to rest. When I need to talk there's no one there usually. I spend lots of time by myself. I meditate, sing, praise GOD and write. I smoke every now and then. I shouldn't be, I know, crazy, but I have no other out. My husband has his own health issues and doesn't want to discuss his or mine. I did buy a dog last august. He's my joy!!!! Love him so much and he me. I cry alot, but I don't think it's fear of dying. I think it's because I can't get the professionals to listen to me. My neuro dr is a pompass you know what, my neuro surgeon doesn't want to see me for at least 5 years. I think my primary care dr, blames herself for missing the annie. I will see pychiatrist for the first time in 2 wks. I can't wait. Im hoping for closure or pills which ever comes first. I did discuss my issues with neurosurgeon, he assured me that it was highly, highly immposible to experience seizures and because my brain injury was not near tempral lobe, it was again "highly, highly unlikely that I would have seizures, although what I was describing sounded like issues problems associated with temporal/frontal lobe.
Thank you Jennifer, I did buy a dog, last august. He is wonderful. It's like GOD made him just for me. My doctor thinks my issues are far too intense for psychologist, she wants me to see pyschiatrist. I have spoken with a LISW and she also thinks I need much help, she just wouldnt say what kind.
Thank you Nikki
I am not doubting that I may have a little anxiety. I think it was brought on by the strange things happening to me and no one knows why. I sometimes catch myself not breathing or choking on water. It's as if I have forgotten how. Just for brief moments. Long enough to get my attention. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking.......I should have died, it would have been far easier. I think depression, anxiety, stress all true, maybe even a little bi-polar, but I strongly feel, that the events that take place around the same time when they happen is something else. I will try walking more. It's been too hot to walk lately tho. and believe me Nikki, I try real hard to let things go. I am more verbal than I have ever been. I tell people just what I am feeling (tactful of course) so I don't walk around with whatever, you know. That might be another reason why their so stand-off-ish! LOL to myself. Im different, scary. I have to read you guys story. I only told what happened, I didn't tell what I felt, or how it felt. Where I was, or what I was doing.
I must say, I have tried 3 other sites and have not encountered one individual that said they knew how I was feeling (except for epilepsy site). I am truly thankful to you all for your words of encouragement and advise. I will most definately keep you posted. I'm still learning how to manuvuer in BAF, but strongly feel, that I have found a good place to be. HUGS to you all : )
hi mary- so sorry your experiencing all of these after effects, what i cant understand is where did my strength go? what does the brain bleed damage have to do with muscle strength?? pt said it might be 7 weeks or 7 years-gee thanks i thought. i had coiling in 09 for sah but the fix technique doesnt seem to matter regarding these awful after effects- i can relate to all of them except auras & taste in mouth, i hope you find the help that you need-remember we must be our own advocates,also if you have lost friends its not your fault- its their own lack of understanding -of our condition. pt said i may laugh or cry for no reason but they didnt have any advice on dealing with it. But do not feel alone -God is with us & you are with us- glad you found this site-99% of the advice is right on--youre right tho people are uneasy and im uneasy especially in crowds-hang in there Mary you will find much love & support here, our thoughts & prayers are with you
Bless Your Heart...You have my prayers...and Cyber~hugs Colleen
Hi Mary,
In 1984 my husband and I were victims of an unprovoked criminal assault at 9am when we were going to work. A man tried to steal my bag and in the ensuing struggle my husband was stabbed 5 times. He never recovered and now suffers from an enduring mental illness and I am his carer. He was 27 when it happened. I understand totally how lacking in sympathy people can be to illness. I had to lie to my employer so many times about taking time off to take my husband to his appointments because without me he would not go. In the end I ended up with terrible panic attacks which were getting worse and worse. My advise is change jobs. Your a book keeper, work for yourself. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel after getting rid of the burden of bosses like that. Go and see a psychologist. I did for many years. It will do you the world of good.
Mary,
Because of my husbands condition I have been around the mental Health services for many years. Psychiatrists deal only with medication. If you can work, which you do; you probably dont need meds. It sounds like you just need to talk and be listened to. This is where psychologists help. Give it a try before going on meds that can do you more harm than good.
Get a second opinion on your medical symptoms. This will put your mind at rest. Carol has made some good suggestions pursue them. Once you can see things more clearly, you can begin to address each problem.