Feeling very different this week

Hello everyone it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here . Just reading some new news and some old news on everyone. I am just asking everyone about how Im feeling I cannot explain how I’m feeling. I do not know what’s going on I’ve been really distressed at work and seems like I’m going to have a breakdown. It will be my one year craniotomy anniversary next week . 15 months since my rapture on the 1 st Annie. Seen my neurosurgeon a month ago . He said everything was fine I had coiling done on Annie 1 and clipping done on Annie 2 Went to my primary doctor and she gave me meds for depression is this normal? What can I do to help myself please any advice will be grateful will this pass. Like I said I went and saw my neuro and I had a CT scan MRI and also a MRA he said I was fine so why am I so worried ?

I think these feelings are normal. I have received calls, three days in a row, from my surgeon’s office. I have to schedule my 6 month angiogram. I do not want to go. I feel like everything will be fine, but I am nervous. I will go. I will call to make the appointment, but I don’t want to. Maybe going for counseling would help you learn to adjust to your new normal?

Think we all go through some drastic changes even when are consultants tell us everything fine our brain doesn’t seem to accept this and we experiance funny things pains emotions in our brain we never did before I lost my job as I couldn’t cope with panic anxiety attacks which I feel wrecked my life as I couldn’t cope im now going for counselling to try and help me come to terms with all that’s gone on and try to accept how to live again I hope this some how helps you to know your not alone xx

Dear Rossana,

It’s been sixteen years plus since my clipping, and I’m fine. Since I began to have little seizures in the 80s, I’ve been on Carbamazepine, and still take it. For anxiety, which happens occasionally, I have a prescription for Ativan (from my GP) and this works well, especially when I cannot sleep. I hope this helps.

All the best,

David Andrus, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

My dad had a double aneurysm in 2013 and I do not believe his emotions have been "in check" since. He went through bouts of depression for the first year and went for counseling that helped. More than anything, our surgeon was able to clarify for us the normalcy in all of it.

I have never forgotten what the Neuro ICU nurse told us when we were admitted that this was going to be a life-changing event for everyone involved. Boy, is that understated. It's amazing what you go through as a patient. Hang in there and keep climbing, learn to live the life you have.

Meds are perfectly OK and depression is very normal. Watch the Flooding video. It will explain why the office might affect you-lights, noise, phones ringing etc. Yoga is a good place to learn how to calm yourself and feel peaceful. Find the right volunteer position that you can feel helpful but be a "helper" and don't undertake being the organizer in charge. Also, as per my experience, medical persons seem to focus on physical tests and results. They do not usually go to mental or emotional "health". A good counselor has helped with that. I also know that feeling like I was going to have a "nervous break-down. I did get a perm disability and I wish I had counseling right after my annie. I always say the same thing-if you look the same and can walk and talk, others expect you to be the same. Survivors, like us, carry some baggage and there are ways to deal with them

The first year after my surgery I seemed to be fine emotionally. I was grateful that the surgery was successful and went back to work after 6 months. Then the stress of work and strain of hiding my emotions made me depressed about what really happened to me and what my future is. I have made some changes in my life and I am seeking more support. I just wanted you to know this is common and something that is part of the acceptance process that a lot of survivors go through. You are not alone. Please get the support you need for you. Blessings to you in your journey.

hi dear.. glad to know you are doing fine . how about spending time doing something you like ?

maybe u think too much ..

Hi Rosanna,

I'm only 6 months post so I'm not sure whats ahead of me but I know that for me walking is help alot. I havent started work yet but when I do I know my doctor wants to take it slow...he said by taking things slow and not over loading yourself will help with the up coming months ahead. If you rush your brain over loads and what your explaining will happen...maybe you need to cut your hours down and slow down, ask for help because it's ok to...I know it's hard, we all know it's hard and harder to except how others seem to think were ok. Just because the scares on the out side are not noticeable any longer it doesn't mean our brains are..It was explain to me that the brain take awhile to heal so be kind, step away from all that stress...I also had to see a counseler because I to couldn't deal with it all. For us on here we all worry, we all get depressed and feel the pain it has left us....What your feel is normal but I do think from only my point of view, you may be over loading yourself, it's ok to take a step back. I hope after our input on here you will know your not alone and what your feeling is real. Just keep talking to your doctors until they listen..some times you have to be firm....

Please let us know how your doing in up coming weeks....you can help us also by doing so...

Take care and Happy Anniversary.........Sofzina

I think some of these feelings are pretty normal. One year out is still recent in my thinking. I was having PTSD stuff after my first year. I had clipping for SAH. It does get better! Be gentle with yourself. I’m 3 years better now. I’ve calmed down a lot. I find it helps to keep thankful for being here. So glad you can still work. Hang in there! Cindy

You may be experiencing ptsd. Or even possibly anxiety and depression related to the previous rupture and surgery. if possible can you get a referral to a mental health professional to help you deal with you feelings? Counseling along with medications may be beneficial. While I have not experienced any mental health issues because of my annie rupture, it is never far from my thoughts. I am coming up on my 2 yr mra to recheck my coils and as it gets closer I am saying a lot of prayers that everything will still be ok.

yes!! sometimes nurses are more in tune with us!

kubotachic said:

My dad had a double aneurysm in 2013 and I do not believe his emotions have been "in check" since. He went through bouts of depression for the first year and went for counseling that helped. More than anything, our surgeon was able to clarify for us the normalcy in all of it.

I have never forgotten what the Neuro ICU nurse told us when we were admitted that this was going to be a life-changing event for everyone involved. Boy, is that understated. It's amazing what you go through as a patient. Hang in there and keep climbing, learn to live the life you have.

yes! its the ptsd we all possess after such trauma, i find it comes in stages and i just pray a lot, tc think positive xoxo

Hi Rosanna, I am 1& 1/2 months away from the anniversary of rupture of my aneurysm. This is the first reply I have written since I initially wrote on this sight because I did not ever feel competent enough to express myself. But reading what you are experiencing made me decide to try. Our brains,I think, have a way of nudging us with feelings similar to those that happened during the event, especially at anniversaries. Good and bad feelings and good and bad events. Even something happening in our day to day life that we do not think much of may touch off a surge of feelings. At least that is how I have experienced the roller coaster of feelings I sometimes have. How can any of us not experience periods of depression and fear, even confusion? So,getting reassurance however is a good thing. How wonderful that you survived! Would you want to see a counselor, someone who will listen without judging and give reassurance? It took me about 6 mo. but I finally started seeing a counselor. She is very helpful. Do remind yourself of how well you are doing and find some ways to do some fun, enjoyable things. Jan

Hi Rosanna: I think what you are feeling is pretty much normal. Your whole comfort zone has been challenged and when we don't expect this to happen to us, how can we not feel stressed. Now, having been there and knowing how anxiety sort of took over for awhile, I started focusing on all the positives and challenged my negative feelings to stay in the back ground. I found by doing this, so many things I never thought much about had such took on more meaning then ever. Maybe I needed to rethink my blessings and this was my challenge to do so. We will always wonder why, we will all wonder about the what if's and could it happen again....but anything we focus on with negativity, will become an embedded fear, and those fears will take away from our gift of life. I would see my doctor, and maybe just for a little while you might need something like Ativan to help you get your thoughts back in order. It's temporary, so don't worry about it....Be honest with your doctor, and instead of worrying about break-downs, let him help you so that wont happen. My friends say I am a very positive person, but I would say I more of an optimist. I am grateful we have MRI's..and look forward to them with positivity - the news will be .... all is good, or we found something that we can fix. So much better to be in the know, deal with stuff as it comes, and move on. Live is a blessing, and as we age, and as health concerns come our way, we cant stop living, loving, laughing....and staying positive. I hope this helps. God Bless.

Hello Rosanna,

I have struggled with the same feelings. I think we all have to one degree or another. I used to have this overwhelming sense of impending doom... Like something bad was going to happen. It drove me crazy! Dr. said it was anxiety but I refused to take any meds for it because I'm on enough already for other things. I had to learn how to let it go. I did that by keeping a journal and processing my emotions. I also have a great family who helped me keep things in perspective. As bad as I have it, there are lots of people out there who have it much worse. Start counting your blessings and let those thoughts rule your mind. Whatever you focus on is what will rule your heart and mind. Facing death changes things! What used to be sooooo important to me, is no longer relevant. I still have days that I struggle with fear, what if it happens again??? The "what if's" are many but NO ONE is guaranteed tomorrow. So I am thankful for today! You are here and alive!! May your journey be filled with joy and peace!! Much Love.

I totally get where you are coming from. I’ve had 1 rupture, 3 coils n stents. Over a two year period. I go back again for what I hope to be the last operation in June. Each operation taking more n more of my self confidence away.i live alone n am depressed even with depression meds.talking with my family has helped so much. I get mad at what the new me has become. Then I try to remember all the people I saw in the Nuro ward.that can’t walk,talk n drewl as they try to eat. So I then thank god every day that I AM not in the shape of the others . I take each day as gods blessing. I try to partisapate as much as I can in the clubhouse where I live.i swim at the clubhouse pool, to exersise, n not be alone 24/7.when I overdue I end up sleeping the whole next day. You have to get to know your new self n the limitations. God bless

Hello Roxanna, I am feeling right now exactly the same way as you are. I hope you feel better soon!

I think its perfectly normal to feel like this, a year is nothing. It will take time. I am 26 years down the road almost, so I know all the phases one goes through! Anxiety and headaches were my primary symptoms, I'd say the first 4 or 5 years were the worst in that respect. Rest is really important, and I found it helped if I could talk about how I was feeling. Good luck and hang in there, you are not unusual in having these feelings!

My wife suffered a ruptured aneurysm and was in coma for 12 days after operation. 7 years have passed now and she is well.Thank God for his miracle. You have been given a new lease of life ,trust him to fulfill his plans for you.read psalm 103 and be encouraged.