I started this as a comment to Sara then decided to share it with everyone!
Hi Sara,
As you have read everyone has a story, we are all the same in a lot of respects but yet all different. Feeling sad or feeling your not appreciating life like you expect you should is all too common in our aneurysm world.
Aneurysm has changed my life in such a degree that depression would be just too easy. I am not very clear on your story so I will share a small part of mine.
September 2010 I was told I had an aneurysm that needed clipping, bulging problems prevented coiling. I had my craniotomy in November 2010 that surgery led to a massive amount of problems that in turn led to them having to re-open my head another 4 times within a 16 month period. My problems are still not taken care of and it has effected my life on a daily basis with everything I do. What I make the decision to do on any given day can change my facial appearance.
We have learned first hand just how short life can be, finding an appreciation for it I believe is individual.
Letting the degrees of grief get the best of you is not an option in my book. We all go through the emotions of grief such as why me, what did I do to deserve this, questioning our beliefs in God and ourselves.
The reality of it is this, it happened and if we are one of the lucky ones that survived then giving into depression or anger just seems to be almost way too easy. We fought to survive now it’s our job for no one else but ourselves to fight for the reason we survived. Our lives are not finished yet!
Everyday of my life is a fight not to let depression set in, everyday is a challenge to find something to do that is not going to change my appearance. I live in a different country than two of my children their spouses and 5 grandchildren, I can’t fly to go home and visit them without swelling and horrible pain. Option is there is none! I can’t go home.
Life has changed in ways I would have never thought possible, trick to living it fully now is to talk yourself into the fact that you won the battle now fight to win the war!
If you are on the end where you are a loved one of someone going through this the best you can do for them is to be understanding and supportive. Mood changes, feeling almost a sence of worthlessness is all part of your loved ones reaction. You will never totally understand what it is to have aneurysm’s or what it feels like to know someone is or has been up in the very core of who you are, your brain! Your life’s memories, the one organ that makes you who you are. Support is so very important!
So my take on all of this is easy, fight for yourself emotionally and physically. Your road is long and hard but the end results are too win with satisfaction for yourself, your family and all the other people that you might be able to help someday going through exactly the same thing. Experience is knowledge as they say!
Win the war!!
(((hugs to all)))
Kimberley