Brain Aneurysm Support Community

Feelings

Hi there! About 6 weeks ago I blacked out while driving and crashed into a tree only to find out I had a leaking brain aneurism. After getting 3 coils and spending 11 days in the ICU, I am home and recovering with my family.

I know it is still early in the recovery process, but I feel changed. I don’t feel changed in an “I almost died” sort of way but in a different way. My 15 year old son recently told me I am “more chill since the accident”. I have tried to explain how I am feeling to my husband and mom and sister but no one quite gets it. I definitely feel slower than my usual self and maybe not as emotional as I used to be. They tell me they can’t tell a difference but I KNOW I have changed. I am feeling different and it is so hard to explain to people.
I have no idea how to explain it other than the fact that I am changed.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did you ever go “back” to yourself pre-aneurism?

What you experienced is, I think, common. My wife had a ruptured aneurysm eight years ago, and she changed. It’s not in a bad way, but different. She talks more, has a shorter temper, is more emotional, and more affectionate. I often wonder how she was in the past–I really don’t remember. You don’t think about that until it changes. Learn to know the real you, and make the most of it!

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Hi JenniScotA, welcome! I had my aneurysm August 23, 2019 at work. I know exactly how you feel. I still don’t feel “I almost died” moment. I became a little emotional. At first my PCP wanted me to see someone, but I said no I didn’t need any help. Then I went to vent to my aunt about everything and she suggest that I get some help. I’m seeing a home therapist (I don’t drive), I think it helps. I’m trying grasp this “new normal”,smh. I also feel slower and a lot more emotional (not normal). My family still don’t get it. So the nurse suggested that my family go with me to one of the group meetings I go to once a month to get a better understanding, but everyone is too busy to attend. I do what my therapist suggested speak my mind and do not hold anything in that they do or say that bothers me. I usually keep everything in. I think once I’m able to return back to work I’ll be back to pre-aneurysm state. I really hope so if not better. I know I will be a little slower, but it will all come back I’ll better. I spoke with someone and I explained what happened to me. She stated “You seems like a person who usually gives your 150% at work. I think you’ll be able to give your new 100%.” :grinning: She’s probably right. So don’t worry we’re here for you and we understand. Welcome again
Cary

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Welcome JenniScotA!

Changes are normal after a rupture! The first year I had no emotions. We put our wonderful lab down two weeks after I got out of ICU and didn’t cry, I understood what was going on but I was disconnected from my emotions. No laughter, no sadness, I called it flatline. I believe it was my brain’s way of trying to heal. I knew I wasn’t processing information the same, went to a psychologist and was tested, had lost about 40 points in IQ. I didn’t have words to tell people what was going on. All I could say is “my brain is black”. My aphasia is improving but I am also able to now tell people, don’t give me the word. There was a wonderful moderator on here several years ago whom I met with her husband. He was the one who understood the brain black and said thought processing! To this day, I could hug both of them! I was able to recover emotions when I went to DC with the BAF and heard Todd’s story of his young daughter passing away. For a few years I couldn’t “read” people which was always both a gift and a security ability I had developed along the years. Now if someone is crying and the tears are heartfelt, I cry right along with them.

When we rupture, blood is introduced into an area called the subarachnoid space. Our bodies have to have time to re-absorb the blood. We also have to do three important things in my opinion, rest, stay hydrated and get enough protein to help our brains heal. Everyone’s rupture is different, everyone has different obstacles to overcome but those three things help everyone. Hang in there, give yourself time to heal some more. Eventually they may send you to a neurologist. Take your husband to any of the neurosurgeon appointments, explain it to the neurosurgeon so he can hear your concern and the doctor’s reply. Also try going to the BAF, Joe Niekro Foundation, or one of the others and downloading the information for family members for someone after rupture, maybe that will help.

Remember we do understand and we are here to help or just listen!