This is a very sensitive subject for me and perhaps you too, but I am hoping to receive some honest feedback on mental illness experiences post craniotomy.
I had an SAH and craniotomy for clipping in march 2014. I am fortunate and grateful that for the most part I have had a storybook recovery. I still have left - side weakness and some cognitive issues. But the biggest thing I am struggling with is mental illness. I mean I was no Pollyanna or Doris day before the surgery, but in the last 6 months I have experienced severe depression, some manic episodes, and suicidal ideation and have self harmed via cutting. I have a psychotherapist and psychiatrist and attend a support group, but I just don’t seem to be able to overcome these negative emotions. I feel like something happened in my brain that is causing these problems. Given that I lost a 25 year professional career and spend a lot time isolated and alone, I am not surprised by the depression, but these other things have me baffled. I also have a severe sleep disturbance. Some nights I can’t get to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and some nights I don’t sleep at all, just watch the sun come up.
Has anyone else out there experienced mental health issues that did not exist before their aneurysm? And if so, can you please share your experience or offer any advice.
Hi, yes to the depression, no to the other things you’ve mentioned. But I don’t think it’s surprising that a trauma to your brain, losing your career, lack of sleep, etc. could trigger mental illness in some people. It makes a lot sense, actually. Sounds like you are doing all the right things in terms of getting professional help. Can you do some other things so you won’t feel so isolated? Any way you can work part-time, do volunteer work with kids, join some kind of club or class for adults in your area? I find that when I keep busy, but not too busy, and surrounded by other people, it helps a lot. Also, planning something to look forward to, like a day in the city with husband and kids, or a day by the ocean with friends. Keep getting the help you need and you will hopefully be in a much better place by next year. My SAH was May 2013 and it took 2 years to start feeling a lot better emotionally. Best wishes
Hi Cameron, I had a 20+ mm ASAH in 2010. I too lost my career and most of how I defined myself. At first just being alive against all odds was enough to lift my spirits. Eventually the day to day recognition of what I have lost has led to some depression and bitterness. I deal with it much as Jennifer suggests, I spend a lot of time around the people I love and try to build a new reality instead of trying to hold on to the old one. I am not the same person I was before my rupture but I am more involved in my Kids and Grand Kids lives than before. A totally new reality for me and one I am finding very satisfying and for now enough. I think that as long as you are self aware and honest with yourself and you keep looking for help you will find it. For me a lot of help comes in the conversations I read here, thanks for sharing a very personal subject with us. Best wishes and prayers.
Thank you jennifer and rugel for sharing and for your suggestions. Unfortunately I live alone and do not have the day to day support of family. The day of my surgery my mom had to rush home so she did not miss out on earning the next dollar even though my neurosurgeon made it clear I could die at any moment. Daughter die or get a dollar. No conumdrum for her, she went for the dollar. I reached out and asked my friends for help. They showed up in droves. How lucky am i? Thanks again and may the wind be at your back as you both continue to recover.
You learn a lot about people during times of crisis. Sorry about your mom’s response. That is terrible, and will likely come back to haunt her in the future when she is in need. In my case, I received multiple meal deliveries and gifts from people I didn’t even know (parents from the school my kids attended), while some supposed “friends” never event sent a card or email! So disappointing! It’s better to focus on the positive responses than to dwell on the negative ones…though not easy to do when it’s your own mother, I’m sure. Keep up with your friends who helped and try to forge some new friendships, if you can, by joining something that interests you locally.
