My mom had a SAH and subsequent coiling and clippings in January of this year. She has recovered very well physically. We knew that the mental recovery would be difficult and it definitely has been. She's very anxious and depressed as well. She's aware that she's more anxious and possibly depressed. But she thinks she can "will herself better". She worked in the mental health field for years so taking any medication is not something she wants to do. She also thinks most mental health professionals are a little crazy as well. So she's not really open to therapy although, I think she may be considering it.
She also wants to know the mechanism that causes the depression after a SAH and that is a little beyond my capabilities.
So my questions are, what can I say to her to get the help she needs?
hi mimigirl! i'm curious too. thanks for posting-there seems to be a ton of reasons- one post said it was the aneurysm itself! I went to baf website at the top right and then searched depression- unfortunately this is an all to common problem. When it overwhelms me I pray and also listen to happy music. Whats helped me the most is connecting with the chat room folks- they understand and have big hearts! Would mom consider doing that? we'd love to meet her! We will keep you and mom in our thoughts and prayers~~
Sorry to hear about your mother (although I'm really glad to hear that her surgery went well and that she is physically doing well) and her depression/anxiety issues.
I found the period after my SAH in 2009 to be extremely mentally difficult... especially the first year or so. Suffering a SAH is such a bolt from the blue for most people that the anxiety about another rupture, and general paranoia about your health is extremely high. This is magnified by the invisible/internal nature of the issue, and also the fact that during recovery you will (I did, at least) experience all sorts of symptoms like headaches, numbness and tingling which put extreme fear into you, because they feel quite like a mild haemorrhage could feel... I consider myself level-headed, but in my first two years of recovery, I had to go to the hospital emergency room maybe 4 times out of fear of a re-bleed. The depression side of things creeps in from a variety of factors... there is some speculation that the breakdown of blood over time affects brain chemistry, but as far as I am aware, this remains speculative. What is well known, is the link between a traumatic illness or injury (especially one as potentially fatal, and as likely to cause impairments as SAH) and subsequent depression. Anxiety over recurrence, fears of future quality of life, fears surrounding mortality, feelings of being isolated from others who don't always understand what you've been through, it being the ONLY thing people talk to you about (trust me, that gets old!) - all factors which compound depressive feelings and cause them to become prevalent in the mind.
If your mother is from a mental health background, perhaps try to be ultra-rational in your appeal to her. She will know that there is a difference between inherent, chronic depression/anxiety issues and responsive depression, occurring traumatic life event. Target the idea that it's a normal, almost default response to extreme trauma such as SAH, and that it needs some work just to correct how things feel, her outlook, etc, etc. She will be rationally aware that very strong willed people can suffer depression/anxiety in extreme circumstances - maybe she needs to be persuaded that needing a little help doesn't make her of weak will or anything, and also that an external viewpoint sees things that a depressed person isn't capable of seeing well.
Good luck convincing her to get some help - also, be assured that time will make things better - the shock to the mind and body of SAH does ebb away over time as you realise that another one isn't about to happen any minute... I'm 4yrs out now, and my anxiety levels are quite low, and my outlook is soooo much sunnier. I am sure your mother will get there with your help and support :)
hi mimi! I reread this and we failed to address where to get help, is she on medicare or a state run Medicaid insurance? they can help with mental health professionals, also the hospital should have resources and support groups. At my last family drs visit I noticed a phsyc dr was there on board~ron
Thank you! She created an account but she still has a hard time seeing and also has trouble navigating the site. She has another eye appointment tomorrow so hopefully that’ll help.
Thank you Bruce. I’m going to read to her what you wrote because I think she will definitely feel comfort knowing that this is something others feel. You described her exactly with the fear of reoccurrence.
your very welcome mimigirl! good for you ! yes the site was difficult for me- I cant see left out of both eyes so its hard to know which line im on-but its so much better now. I was newbie to internet so all this was a learning experience-if I can do it anyone can, I also do sodukos but really this site is by far the best therapy especially the chat room-its like socializing practice- hang in there things do get better but at a snails pace~~