Some days I am so tired after work or even spending time with my grandkids, I just can’t even decide what I want for dinner! Someone will ask “what do you want for dinner?” and I say “I really don’t care!” because I just don’t feel like making another decision today. Some days I actually feel like my BRAIN HURTS. I try to explain this to my family, but they look at me like I am from another planet and let’s face it, I am! I am from the Planet Subarachnoid Hemorrhage and the Galaxy of Aneurysm. A place I hope they never have to visit!
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Hi. Yes decisions are very difficult. Especially if to many options; shopping, doctor visits etc Little over 6 months out from brain hemorrhage, coil & double stents. Had always been sure of self, in control as a single, educated, “mature” woman. After release from icu was frustrated with family asking simple choices. In a joking way reminded them that I had a miniature metal “potscrubber” plug in my brain, so if waiting on my decision then we had a problem. And honestly some decisions just don’t seem that important or urgent anymore:
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Thanks for answering me! I have been feeling so alone! I have explained it so many times-it’s not that I am not interested in what my family is doing, I just don’t have the energy to decide. In the grand scheme of things, what we eat, doesn’t matter right now. Food is just food.
I get overwhelmed with too many decisions. Based on my day, it could be as simple as what to eat. Sometimes it’s someone telling me something or wanting an opinion when I’m trying to focus on what I am doing. We have worked things out like menu planning but it’s inconsistent. On what I call my bad brain days, I find myself alienating from others so I don’t have to concentrate on questions or even simple conversations.
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Weirdly enough when my girls were young, I went back to work and my husband and I split the house chores (sort of) He loved to cook and I did almost everything else. he took care of the mowing in summer. So even now that they girls have grown up and moved away we both work and he decides what to do for dinner-but he always asks and I don’t care. I still do almost all the other chores around the house. On top of that, we just moved into a new house-at the end of January, we had some help with the furniture, but I nearly have unpacked the entire house by myself! I really don’t know how I did it. But I can tell you, it has hit me so hard I can barely think and the last two weeks I can barely function at work or at home. I know I was pushing too hard, but I keep going. I think to myself, “Hey! it has been some years now-I can’t keep using this thing as an excuse” but I just want to lay down. My kids don’t even see it. Nobody ever sees it. They keep demanding my attention and then there is the three grandkids. I have them a couple times a week. I just cannot choose one more thing. I don’t care what color a room is, or if we have carpet or if we tile. I just want to lay in my bed, and I really wanted to get settled here in N.C. but all of the decisions, it just has been way too much!
Then it’s a good time to stop. Give yourself a week or two. Chill, enjoy the beautiful weather…ok it IS raining again…but today is a good day to enjoy the overcast skies. Read a book, enjoy a movie, cuddle on the couch…A couple years ago we did the Creative Food Tours in Black Mountain, it was fun -good food, a nice walk, a bit chilly in the 20’s. I’d go before tourist season hits again…They’ve got some good micro breweries, good coffee shops, and nice little restaurants.
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This is exactly how I feel most days! EXACTLY!
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Yes, it is very hard for me to make decisions.
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This is THE major issue for me. No decisions please… just whatever.
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I’m only a month post-coiling and with vertigo symptoms I feel like I’m whirling around in a fun house. It’s a weird sensation but on a positive note, I’m retired and don’t have work or family responsibilities so I can focus on doing what’s best for my recovery. Friends aren’t understanding that long phone conversations are not helpful, but I’m honest in explaining not to take offense. My brain needs rest.
I appreciate that my family and friends care about me but I need to find my own peace.
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I feel like this a lot of days. After a day at work and running my kiddos to sports and church and school along with the house work, I just don’t have the energy to decide much. While I am grateful for being able to do all of these things after a ruptured brain aneurysm, it is exhausting! I will find myself deferring to my husband if it is something the kids need/want. I think, unfortunately, people take it as me not caring about something when I do care I just don’t want to decide another thing.
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It’s nice to not feel alone in this. I have been feeling so disappointed in myself like I have failed, but I guess this is just the new me. I’m going to try and stop being so hard on myself! Thanks for your replies!
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I work for a medical group, and there are still some coworkers who cannot understand why I work till 2pm and than go home to rest or sleep. It will be two years since my Subarachnoid Hemorrhage and Aneurysm clipping this August 30. I still get tired, irritable, have cognitive issue, confusion and thank goodness not as much stuttering when I speak. When I get home I cannot make another decision. I work at centralized desk checking patients in and giving appointments. So when I get home I do not want to think about another thing. My saying is “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”
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I recently changed jobs from a busy front desk which I thought I loved because before the aneurysm I did and I felt it was causing me too much stress. However, this position I’m out in the public more and I’m finding it difficult to push myself to face so many new people every day. It’s almost like a panic comes over me and I can choose my “route” for the day but I just want someone to plan it for me. Now I’m thinking I was better off sitting at the crazy desk. When does this get easier?
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At the Centralized desk I have a horde of people coming in all wanting everything yesterday. I have trouble with this as well. I tried to do full time, which a really bad decision. I’m back on reduced hours. I work from 8-2 every day. Ideally I would have preferred 5hrs a day, but I would not have ins coverage.
I am considering signing up for SSI, because it is a strain on me. Maybe I’ll go work with animals.
So no, feeling overwhelmed is normal. working with the public in the fast paced world we live in is too much stimulation.
As a matter of fact I used to be the Referral Specialist for an Orthopedic DR who saw over 200 patients per day. Granted he had a large staff, but he always wanted everything yesterday. I left his practice, because I could not relax on my days off or weekends wondering what injections hadn’t been ordered or who had not been set up for MRIs, CTs or X-Rays, so imagine me doing that now.
You have to do what’s best for you. At this point I’m making a financial plan, so that I may leave my present position and get new training to do something lighter.
1.Apply for SSDI
2.Look for Acces VR for vocational rehabilitation
http://www.acces.nysed.gov/vr
3.look at flexjobs website for work from home job etc.
https://www.flexjobs.com
4.Check for anything in your past work experience that may be of interest to you again.
Hope this helps!!!
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I am so happy to read this! I have found that I alternate between having no desire to make a decision and being flat out unable to make a decision. Starting every morning when I walk into my closet, cannot decide what to wear. Food, like who cares? What to do, what sounds like fun…I have no idea. Happy to go along with decisions of family and friends but please don’t ask me to decide.
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This is great information!
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There was a post regarding working and being able to be on disability SSI at the same time. would you help me to find it.
Thanks,
Laura
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Ms Laura, I will look for it in a couple of hours. Resting my eyes so I can drive to Speech Therapy. But if you contact your State SS office, they can tell you how much one can earn and remain on disability
You can also do a search on this site by going to the magnifying glass.
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