Newbie. Nervous

Hello all. I am new to this. My surgeries were 7 mths ago. I’ve been hoping to feel better. I try to stay positive. I’m due for one more (hopefully) coiling in June. I’ve become very anti social, covid is not helping but it is my excuse currently to hide. My memory is not very good and sentences became difficult to put together. I now have severe anxiety and try not to speak much. I guess I have a long way to go. I am fearful of my next one. Hoping a support group with others going through the same will help. Ty

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Welcome @JFenton to our group! You will find a lot of shared experiences and learned stories here. Not everyone who reads the topics reply, but I hope at least some will for you. Be patient.

It took an enormous amount of work for me to go out in public after my rupture. The sounds and bright lights were painful to say the least. My speech was horrendous and yet I couldn’t shut up. For the first time in my life I had to be told to stop talking! The chatter box still remains, but I’ve been able to desensitize somewhat to lights and sound, my right eye is much more sensitive now, but it’s better than having both.

I’m glad you keep trying to be positive, it’s the most important thing in my opinion.

As for memory issues, play the card game “Memory” as a child, we called it Concentration. According to one of the women I have over the phone for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you can buy the card game with pictures. We always used a deck of cards and laid them out. They have also suggested putting small puzzles together. There are many “Brain” games out there online. I also used to do workbooks made for children that helped. Other things are sticky notes, my house used to be full of them until a friend sent me a white board that I could leave notes on. And my cell phone is indispensable! I put just about everything on it. I use notes, reminder and the calendar a lot. We share a family calendar which is another way to help out my memory. I also was using YouTube a lot to figure out how to do something I used to know.

COVID is a two edged sword, isn’t it? I’m glad you’re recognizing it as an excuse, not the reason. Try any of the various methods to see others, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. don’t forget the phone, even old fashioned letter writing is a great method to keep social skills up. It’s so much nicer to receive a card or letter in the mail than a bill or advertisement.

Good luck!
Moltroub

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Hi J. Sorry you are going through this. For what it’s worth, your writing doesn’t make it seem like you have any memory or word problems at all, so maybe you can take some comfort in the fact that you can still communicate clearly and effectively, even if that’s not currently true of your verbal abilities. You have every reason to be afraid and anxious. I am currently waiting for my fourth procedure (2nd one in 6 months time) and I am scared to death. I shouldn’t be, as it’s supposed to be easier than the last, but I am anyway. Brian surgery is scary no matter how “easy” any particular procedure is supposed to be. If people tell you “don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” you can smile and say thanks with the knowledge that they are trying to be helpful, but you can know in your heart they have no idea what they’re talking about!

This is just my own opinion, but I have my own personal theory about the recovery time at this level of trauma and injury: 1 year before you even begin to feel anything like yourself again. 2 years before you stop freaking out about everything. 3 years and you will start to feel fully “recovered.” It seems like forever, I know, but it does get better. It really does. In the meantime, it’s normal to be scared, it’s normal to be anxious, and it’s normal to not know how to “be” in the world for a while. Try not to beat yourself up, or judge yourself, or expect to sidestep the ups-and-downs of recovery. In other words, be kind to yourself. If you don’t want to be as social as you used to be, that’s fine. Pick and choose who you let in to your world right now, and make sure they are the ones who are kind to you too.

Finally, speech and memory problems are very common in stroke victims. You may find some helpful suggestions or additional support in stroke survivor groups. You’re not limited to aneurysm groups, all the brain injury support places will be happy to welcome you. Good luck and hang in there! Remember, be kind to yourself, and know that it gets better.

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Thank you for all the positive feedback. I actually teared up. For I felt so odd and alone.
I appreciate all your advice. I will be working on some matching games. Etc. I have some on my phone already. Big hugs

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MGM Thank you!! I got to love spell check😃
I am feeling like others understand now. I am so very relieved.

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@Moltroub just figuring this out lol one of those messages were for you :hugs: thank you for your support.

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@JFenton you’re doing fine! I love spell check when it works LOL. @mgm has given wonderful advice, it rings true for me as well. Especially the part about who you allow in your life and how you allow them in. Drama and chaos are a thing fo the past and I wish I had done it prior to my rupture, it’s such a relief!

Thank you for the kind words, hugs back,
Moltroub

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I really hope you will be feeling better soon and I wish you all the best possible!!!

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@mgm I’m still working on the “eliminating drama” I guess my confidence is low as well. Sounds like you def know your stuff. Ty ty

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@Xrkc6x ty

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@JFenton I continue to build my confidence, even after all these years. Set up very small goals, not large ones, just baby steps, it helps

Moltroub

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@Moltroub Thank you again. I guess because I was so very active and the one that made you smile at gatherings. It’s so strange to not want to go out. Not have drive. I try to start something, then forget what I was doing. I chat with my doctor about it and they just want to give me more medication for anxiety and depression.
I do feel very guilty all the time. Guilty for not feeling up to cleaning which I use to enjoy. For not reaching out to friends. Etc

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My surgery was in 2019, and I still have bad anxiety and battle with depression.

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@JFenton guilt trips just make it worse. We have a wonderful member @ronk who did a good topic years ago on cleaning, just pick one area of one room and tackle that. I used to get on hands and knees to scrub my floors, after rupture that just couldn’t happen. I couldn’t even swing a mop, much less push one. So I relied heavily on those swifter mop things. Got tired of the expense and went to one of those mop things that hold whatever mix you desire and you can rewash the Velcro pads. We have dogs, red clay, and a large kitchen/dining room so I have several pads LOL. It’s okay to ask for help. In fact it’s better than okay. While we are healing it becomes a necessity. A hard pill to swallow for sure, but it’s one medicine that has to be learned and done.

@sisterlaura welcome to our group! I just read your story and I’m excited for you to return to college to finish up you’re degree! For me, any day I learn something is a great day!

All the best,
Moltroub

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@JFenton when i read your story i cried because I can relate to the way you are feeling, my ruptures were 30 days ago and @Moltroub has been a huge help to me along with @oct20 I have learned so much from lots of people on here. When I first joined i felt so alone and like no one understood what i was going thru, everytime i read a post i cry because i can relate to the way everyone is feeling. I felt like i should of been able to go right back to the way i was before all this happened and i found myslef very frustrated that i couldn’t. I too have memory issues and can’t put my words in the order i need to, I feel like even the simplest things I don’t know anymore, I could be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was going to say.The people on here are truly awesome and very helpful, I wish i had found this group sooner, any issue i need to talk about they are here and they never judge, they are knowledgeable and very reassuring. They know things I was never told or heard of to help me thru my rough patch. On my worst days i come here to this community and remind myself I’m not alone.I wish you all of the best :heart:

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@Kim2 yes I feel better that I found this group yes @Moltroub @mgm @Xrkc6x @sisterlaura they have all been amazing!! Now I have you as well! :heart::hugs: ty

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Welcome! I am just home from having a FRED FDS deployed in my left supraclinoid, previously clipped blister aneurysm. It was originally clipped in 2016 at Barrow and right after my 5 year anniversary I find out there is regrowth under the clip and it has doubled in size. There is nothing that I could fear more. A blister aneurysm residual/regrowth. I had so much anxiety heading into the procedure, and except for some bleeding complications, all went well.

Do not let anyone tell you your concerns, anxiety, doubts are not valid. Aneurysms are really scary. The outside world thinks they get it. But they don’t. I agree with @mgm that you have excellent writing skills! We are all here to support you. You are safe here.

Hugs,
Kim

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@Kim2 I’m so very sorry you are going through this!! Sending you :hugs:

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@JFenton thank you for the hugs i can sure use them, with everyone’s help here i think I’ll be good. I enjoy getting the help and words of encouragement on here, thank you to everyone

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@phoenix33 I’m so sorry you are going thru this and I hope you are doing very well. What you are going thru is my worst fear, to have something else go wrong. I came real close to not making it thru the second anyarism and now everything i feel makes me panic, I have found alot of help on here. I wish you all the best and will pray :pray: for a full recovery for you.

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