My wife had a subarachnoid aneurysm that was clipped after it burst 6 weeks ago. She has made great strides with her health, but I've noticed some emotional issues arising lately. Recently I've noticed a lot of depression. Not so much depression as "why did this happen to me" but "why am I still alive and what should I do with my life now that God gave me a second chance?" She started putting a lot of pressure on herself. Is depression common? Is it like a postpartum and slowly dissipates? Would it be helpful to talk to a specialist? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
Nick, I, too, have asked the questions that your wife is asking- in fact, I think the question of "why am I alive and what should I do with my life know that God has given me a second chance" will always be there to some extent.....For me, I went through all of the classic stages of grief- I never felt that I was in a deep depression (nor did those around me) so never sought counsel- I think that is a personal choice
I also had the same thoughts of "wow God chose me to be around, why me? what do I do now?" well I decided to live my life for God! I would recommend prayer, and getting involved in church, God will soon reveal why he kept her around. :) Prayers go out to you and your family!
Nick,
My wife is the same. She can go from depression and tears, asking why, to anger because she didn't ask for this to happen. Every day, though, she gets better. She still has association problems. She sees things around her and can't always put it together correctly. That all is getting better. One thing I found helped was to turn off the TV and any unnecessary outside stimulation. There is some stimulation that is needed to heal but she doesn't need to know all the bad things going on in the world or listen to political debates. Even listening to animal planet got to her after a night of repeated shows and she thought it was intentional and targeted at her.
I tell you this so you'll know that you're not alone and your wife is not alone. And, for us, after 8 weeks it is getting much better - not perfect but much better. Patience, love, calm, and positive support will go a long way here. Soothing stimulation, not startling stimulation.
Good luck to you and your wife. Hoping it turns out well for you.
Hi Nick,
I think the simple answer is depression goes with the territory irrespective of procedure to treat the Aneurysm. Its a common thread, the ups and downs of recovery not a journey for the faint hearted! It gets better as time goes on. This journey is very traumatic on many levels. Prayer helps and having a strong belief in God. This is a great support Group that will help both of you with this journey. It always helps to talk.
Jennifer x
Nick - If you and your wife find the way to get over this please let me know because I am a year post op now and still dont know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life since I was spared, I don't get it. That is the main reason why I joined this site. I hope your wife figures it out so she can let me know :) Lindsey
I feel very similar, Lindsey. Perhaps we are looking too hard? This site has helped me immensely since joining- Dana
Yeah I hope being on here will help. I guess this situation was supposed to be life changing and I'm supposed to be so grateful that I'm still alive and supposed to do soemthing magnificent with my life but I don't feel any of that. Obviously I'm happy I made it through surgery but now I'm left with short term memory issues, nobody can touch the back of my head, its numb still, loud noises still bother me, sharp pain around my insicion, and a ton of other issues so why should I be so happy?? I'm just confused on why I don't feel blessed.....I feel....i don't even know anymore.
hi nick- yes unfortunately depression is very common, many here feel as tho they're on a roller coaster emotionally. It does dissipate but only to return again. i had SAH 3 yrs ago & currently just feeling blaaah as i always did at the end of summer but now its more magnified. i don't feel bad enough to warrant a visit to the specialist but if i get worse i'll certainly address that notion. Today i feel tired, disoriented or disconnected and bored, which could be viewed as depressed i suppose. My advice is to be super supportive and super patient-i am still trying to cope with the fact i am permanently disabled which i learned on the phone with the mortgage man who was reciting a letter from my pcp doc!!!!! i'm still in shock i think! anyway 6 weeks is real early in the recovery so i'm very hopeful for her-the severity of the sad spells will improve! keeping her in my prayers to lift the spirits & continued healing! (and the others of course!)
Maybe you were doing, before your aneurysm, just what you are supposed to be doing with your life. Keep doing it. Could it be that there are those in your world or the world whose lives are better because you're in it and that, as much as your life is your own blessing, maybe your survival is their blessing. One thing I'm pretty sure in my heart is that God won't save you for a higher purpose and then let you fail to find the purpose. Live your life. Be for others even more of what you were before. Don't put the pressure on yourself of feeling you haven't found that higher purpose. You're already fulfilling it.
Sage advice....
Hi nick!
I had PPD pretty badly after our son was born as well as PTSD due to his being placed in NICU. Due to my own past, at the time I outright refused to take anti depressants. To me they carried a stigma of sorts… Perhaps because my grandmother was as they termed it back then manic depressant. I worked my way through it with the help of a great therapist. Fast forward to this summer. Our son is now 2 & 1/2. I had been dealing with head pain since january and went to many doctors before one finally gave me the order for a cta scan. To make a long story short, one TIA later, I had a PED implanted at Hopkins. I ffelt so much like what you say your wife is going through. At my month follow up I even recall my surgeon telling me, “perhaps one day you’ll realize how lucky you are.” I was soo down. Because of a bad reaction to neurotin which was prescribed to me for pain, my neurologist then tried me on nortriptyline. I had no idea it was an anti depressant as I was prescribed it for pain… Apparently it does both. All I can say is that in the past years since my son was born I wasn’t honest with myself. Since taking this medication I feel like somebody I thought I had lost. Don’t get me wrong… I still feel pain but I am able to deal with it and the healing so much better. That and finding this site with people that don’t judge and completely understand saved me from crawling into a deep dark hole.
Talk to a neurologist…see if it would help.
Tara
Hi Nick,
Please encourage your wife to rejoice in the blessing of healing that she has received and to use all the gifts that God has given her to be a witness for His healing power by being the best she can be in everything that she does.
My aneurysm ruptured 43rd years ago this month. I had a miraculous recovery and I have had a really good life despite living with other unruptured annies. What I have learned is that there was not one big thing that God spared me to do but lots of little ones and a few that I will call significant. I can sum up what I believe he left me here for as: to bear witness, to serve, to love, to share, to give, to be a pioneer, to lead and to follow in His footsteps. I wish that I could say that I’ve always done these things well, but I think I’ve been successful more often than not. 
My opportunities to serve and the recognition of His call to serve increase each day. For me, the big opprotunities to serve (or perhaps my realization of them) came more than 20 years post surgery but they allowed me to utilize learning and skills gained throughout my life.
I also know that we impact people everyday and we never know when we may make a difference in someone else’s life. Recently, I attended my 45th high school reunion. I was quite surprised when one of my classmates, who I had not seen since graduation, told me how I had made a difference in her life. The small kindnesses we extend really do count.
Take care.
Carole
Hello Nick, i had bad depression for 4 months after my brain op. I wasn't myself, i believe it's the meds, the shock of the surgery and coming to terms with it all. I recommend councelling.
When i had councelling, she made me realize alot of things, she talked me through my thoughts and feelings
and came up with answers for me. I felt so much better and i believe healed quicker because of coucelling.
I highly recommend it for your wife.
God Bless
Nikki
I suffered for a very long time with depression after my ruptured an. No one ever told me that this was a post surgery side effect. I struggled with exactly how your wife feels. I have come to learn that is take a very long time for the brain to heal.
I tried many different anti depressants, and found that Wellbutrin works great, and does not make me sleepy. Tell her to be patient with herself, and to recognize the trauma her brain has gone thru. It does get better, but takes a lot of time. And, go at her own pace.