Surgery on Thursday....TERRIFIED and can't stop crying!

Everyday it gets closer I get sicker and sicker! I can’t sleep and I have so much to do but I seem paralyzed like a deer in headlights!! I wrapped my daughters Christmas presents last night and cried the whole time because I don’t know if I will be here to see her open them!! I am also scared to go into surgery feeling so sick all over, but I guess no one goes into it happy. I have received great support from all of you and gained hope from your stories but nothing is calming me right now! I feel like running away!!!

I think being scared is normal. All you can do is trust in God and your doctors to bring you through. Plus a ton of people here who are praying for you. Maybe if you can't be home for Christmas Christmas can come to you.

I know it is scary .Trust that god will see you through and all will be well .Thomas has a excellent idea Christmas can come to you .I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.



Hi Jennifer -

I know you're really scared - it would be more strange to NOT be scared. But you WILL be okay!!! My kids made me a friendship bracelet (embroidery thread) - they each picked a color and braided it. I didn't have to take it off ever at the hosp (and for weeks after til it broke), and It was such a good touchpoint for me. Maybe there's something special you can take? Also, I have a close friend who gave me one of a set of earrings - a pretty, smooth stone, and I put a safety pin on it and had my husband pin it to my gown right away in recovery - another thing I could touch and remember I was and would be okay./

ALSO - down the medication path - read my response to the most recent blogger about her upcoming surgery (tomorrow I believe). I know how stress can affect my body, so asked for and took valium the night before and morning of, and it made 100% difference in the way I went through those hours.

I had a nasty cold going in to surgery (they wanted to proceed despite the cold) so I too was worried about going in being sick (are you sick physically or just worried sick?), but even going in w/ a true-blue cold I did fine. Think about that moment when you wake up'll know you made it!!! The minute I was barely conscious, I had a smile on my face....I knew that I was alive!!! The nurses probably thought I was on a good drug-trip from the anasthesia - but I was smiling from joy and relief and thankfulness, not from drugs! And you will too. Breathe. And remember....Friday WILL come and you WILL be here to say YAY IT"S DONE!!!!!


Whoa girl, take a deep breath!!! Calm down, relax...I know, easier said than done, but YOU NEED to THINK POSITIVE! YOU WILL GET THRU THIS!!! Try to listen to some soothing music, go in & take a hot bath, just really really try to relax...& if need be, do what Jennifer C. said, call your doctor & see if he'll give you some why didn't I think of that, oh well, too late now...I am so ready to go & get this done!!! I'm going in tomorrow for my craniotomy! I will get thru this! And so will you! You are in my thoughts & prayers!!! Terry


It is agreed that if you were not scared then you would not be normal. So now that we have established that your normal now we need to get you to think posivite. I dont know if your daughter is going to visit you in the hospital but maybe you should take one of her gifts with you and if she does visit let her open that one gift then. Take the gift and keep it as your positive motivation that your going to be alright and you will see your daughter open her gifts.

I took pictures of my Children and grandchildren that live so far away. I also took my laptop so that I could talk to those of you here the night before. Will you check in the day before?

I did and the night before surgery they gave me something to calm me and help me sleep. Several days before I checked in my doctor gave me something to help me atleast get some sleep.

Check with him it won't hurt and please try to keep a positive attitude. Your in our thoughts and prayers and if you need a friend you know that you have plenty of them here.



Remember I am praying for you and I know God is going to bring you through this. You are going to be there for your daughter and Hubby for Christmas!!! Hold on tight to your love for her and you will be able to get through this. I am sending you a BIG HUG and a gentle smile. Know I will be there in thoughts and prayers. Love Tammy

Being scared is normal. The best advice I received was to re-discover your faith focusing on how God heals during the waiting time, and spend fun time with your family; make ornaments, sing together,…(ie-while wrapping the presents picture the smile the gift will bring to your childs face). Do not focus on your illness or you will make yourself sick. I will say a prayer for you.

Jennifer, of course you are scared. Who wouldn't be. You will be here to see your daughter open her christmas presents. Just try to take a deep breath, find something that relaxes you, music, meditating, anything to help keep your nerves at bay. It is hard, soon it will be here and gone and you will have it behind you and will feel good to move forward! I will be thinking about you and praying for you.


You are all wonderful, caring, brave, kind, selfless people and I love each one of you!! Thank you for being the best cheerleading squad around!! I am just hoping me being so nervous and not being able to sleep is going to hurt my chances of pulling through this!! I am trying my best to stay calm and positive and I appreciate having all you to talk to!!! Love you all!!

the sleep thing wont hurt you a bit i stayed up 24hrs then went and had my surgery .i figured hey i will sleep later!

You'll do okay! I haven't slept very much at all...if fact I should be sleeping right now, have to get up at 3:00 AM...I won't be on anymore this week, but know that you are in my thoughts & prayers!!! You will do great!!! I will talk to you when this is all behind us! Good luck & God Bless! Terry

God Bless you too Terry!! I promise all of you that when I get better I am going to start the biggest fund raising event and invite you all so we can share our stories and meet each other in person!!!

You seem so strong you will make it through without a doubt and you and I will be talking about it in a few weeks!! Love to you!!

Amen to that! I look forward to this!

Back at you girlfriend! Oh, believe me I have been plenty scared being it's the "Open Brain Surgery", but I figure it this way, I made it thru a near fatal rupture back in May & still going strong, course I have a wonderful sister who has helped me tremendously! She does her darndest to keep the negativity away. (I live with a very negative person, so that part has been very difficult) plus I have been seeing a counselor, who has helped me so much!!! Plus I have been doing a lot of meditation & just trying to keep calm (much harder done than said, that for sure!) I think I really need to try & get some sleep now, so again Good luck on Thursday! I will be thinking about you!!! Talk to you soon.

Get some sleep. And just think, you may have already weathered the hardest part....all the anxiety of waiting. Physical recovery may be a breeze compared to the emotional whirlwind! Sending good thoughts - you will be fine!!!

Jennifer, God Bless you don't be scare just be happy that you will be home for Christmas to see your daughter open all those gifts you wrapped and see her happy face. POSITIVE God is protecting you and will keep you in good health for your little girl, family and friends. Keep us updated.

I do not even have a date for surgery or chosen which surgery to have and feel the same way....

your going to be fine..i thank God they have came so far in medicine that they can do these procedures and prevent a rupture...Gods not going to let anything take you away from your family..make the old devil find someone else to scare,,thats how he tries to get to us is by fear,,it will drive you crazy,,but you have to put God in charge..if he brings you to it, he will take you through it...hes will not leave you,,just have faith