Came across this earlier today. Perhaps it will be hard for many of us to think this way, but for me, it is a profound truth in my life. I absolutely believe that my aneurysm was a miracle and a blessing.
http://www.ted.com/talks/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived
Thoughts?
I hope I can get to this point someday, but not yet unfortunately. I’ve hit a rough patch of anxiety and depression due to the circumstances, but I do have faith “this too shall pass”. It was inspiring, thank you for sharing!
I too have had some of those thoughts. I have had more expressed appreciation and love from family, friends and coworkers. However, I also see in their eyes the true stress and worry. As the video says, I can look at the positive side and do. But also, as the video says, I wouldn't wish this on anyone else either. I feel this more so for my loved ones than for myself.
I know what you mean about not wishing it on anyone--of course I would never want this for someone either. I've also gone through patches where it felt like anything but a miracle. I try my best to think about the fact that so many others have been less lucky than I. Even when I have pain or problems with my vision now, I think of how much worse it could have been and I am thankful, above all else, that I am privileged enough to still be alive. Since my surgery, I have been compelled to tell more people "thank-you" and have had the honor to meet some truly wonderful people.
Truly inspiring! Thanks for sharing this "gift". :)
Here's a passage from a book I've been reading by Art Brownstein MD: Extraordinary Healing
" Focus on your healing system, not your illness. Be careful not to pay more attention to your disease and the external agents that may be causing it than to your own healing system and the steps you need to take to bring it up to speed. The most common strategic mistake most people make when illness strikes is that they invest more time, energy, and fear into what has invaded their bodies, or what is wrong with their bodies, than they do focusing on their natural internal healing resources. This emphasis sabotages the healing process. When you are sick, you can easily lose sight of your body's intrinsic state of health and instead erroneously succumb to the belief that the illness is more powerful. When you do this, you waste precious energy that could be used for healing. Focus your energy on your healing system and not your disease, pain and discomfort. When you do this, your mind will join forces with your body to more effectively overcome your illness.This powerful healing partnership can maximize the flow of your healing energies, mobilize the forces of healing that exist within you, and produce a more rapid, effective, and thorough healing response. If you are motivated to get better, you can even use your illness as an oppurtunity to learn more about the factors that contributed to your loss of health in the first place. Your ilness can show you not only the way to remedy your current situation, but how to stay healthy and remain balanced in all areas of your life, so you can avoid getting sick again in the future. In this respect, illness can be a blessing in disguise, a valuable learning experience and a time of transformation, renewal, and healing."...
Thanks so much for posting this. I actually had a brain tumor, not an aneurysm, so I can really relate to it. I know that there are people on this forum in all stages of recovery, and that the experience is different for each of us, so not all of us can view what we're going through as a gift. But having a tumor and brain surgery was one of the best things that has happened to me. The three weeks after surgery were probably the best three weeks of my life. I think the largest benefits are appreciating life more, and just being grateful for every second I get. My tumor caused the same kind of bleed that an aneurysm can cause, so I feel really lucky now. I'm proud of my story and my scar. Another huge benefit is that now have a clear direction in life. Going through all this has made me extremely interested in medicine and also made me want to give back somehow, so I'm going into Pre-Med in college next year and can't wait. This was definitely a blessing for me.
It is really hard for me to think this way, I know it's probably the "right way" but my husband had a ruptured annie on Nov 8th, we were airlifted to St Paul and spent the next month there with several other complications. I believed if he survived the hospital stuff and we could just get home every thing would just go back to normal, but it has been extremely difficult, he is a changed person, irritable, still having severe headaches, very critical of every little thing, So I don't think I brought "my husband" home. We've been married 30 yrs, and this I the first time I've questioned if I can stay married to him. We are still doctoring and trying to get his health back to were he feels maybe a little more like him self, but it's breaking my heart that he isn't the same man I married, he was a fun, relaxed, enjoyed life guy. But now every thing is negative so even though I hoped it would be like you expressed in your discussion I'm sorry I can't seem to get to the "blessing" part of this situation. sorry not handling this very well
I finally had a chance to view the video. Very cool. Like you I wouldn't wish it on anyone and have days where I would rather crawl under the bed and hide. But I was lucky that mine didn't rupture and I haven't experienced as much as so many others here do. But my life has changed in good ways. Life filtered through the people who really didn't care much and exposed the true love my whole family has for me. It was humbling.
I am so sorry you are having such difficulty. With my surgery, my mother took off a full month of work and flew to Boston to be my nurse. Perhaps, I wasn't always as appreciative as I should have been--but I felt totally overwhelmed at the time. I didn't always see things this way. I was young, just out of college, and excited to put my brain to work and achieve my dreams. Instead I was debilitated and unable to walk more than a few feet and essentially blind in my left eye. It wasn't until I really thought about how much worse it could have been, and several months later, that I began to change my thinking from "Why Me?" to believing and seeing myself as the stronger, the braver, and the better for my experience. I am with all certainty not the same person I was before my surgery. That day changed me forever and I don't think I'll ever be back to "normal". I have a new normal now.
Since then I've often felt that my caretakers, my mother and my boyfriend, had it much worse than me. I'm sorry that you feel that your husband isn't your husband anymore. The only thing I can say is remember that much of it probably isn't in his control. His brain is still healing and I can relate to his short fuse and the frustration he must be feeling. Of course, none of this probably helps you feel any better, and it certainly doesn't help him heal any faster. But I guess I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't give up hope yet.
In the initial stages after my SAH, I was angry. I asked countless times “why me”. I was in self denial. I had lived a fairly healthy life, I was a bit overweight but I had started walking. So I was mad when I was suddenly struck down with a ruptured aneurysm 2 years ago. It has taken me awhile to even get nearly as close as the lady in the video but like survivor Cindy,with the love and support of my husband, kids, relatives, and friends. I am getting there. My kids were 14 and 9 respectively. It was hard for them to understand " why". Thank God for their Dad and extended family who were there for them! Also the miracle of being able to dialled 911 even in a half conscious state. The fire fighter breaking the door. The EMS workers being able to diagnosed my illness. And taking me to the best hospital that deals with brain trauma. I am forever grateful. Like mamika2, and Sterling I had renewal and healing. As soon as I am better, I would like to give back, and volunteer in a hospital. Thanks CValdes, for your feelings after your aneurysm. My miracle is I am here, and blessings are the love and support of my family, relatives, friends, and health workers. I can’t forget my BAF Support family.
Wow Tami, hang in there, I'm so sorry. This happened to my Mom, my Dad had his rupture when he was 31, my Mom was around 27, and I was only a year old. The man she brought home from the hospital was very different from the one she married. I can tell you, it did not go back to the way it was, but it got MUCH better. Eventually he will heal enough for you to talk with him about his negativity, or he can visit a counselor to deal with it. Make sure you tell his neurologist about the negativity, perhaps they can recommend a counselor for him, and you. Being a caregiver is HARD work, give yourself some slack and some breaks with friends who are positive and make you laugh.