I am an optomistic person by nature. that said, there is NO dening this thins sometimes scares the bleep out of me! the days when I don't feel good, have a headache, am weak, I find myself thinking (briefly) "is this it? is this the last day for me here on earth" although I give it to God fairly quickly it is seemingly always in the back of my head...(funny that's where my "annie" is) Is this normal? does anyone else out there feel like this from time to time?
Hi Jody, Welcome to the BAF forum. I lived with an unruptured aneurysm for over 3 years, before having it clipped. And YES, your feelings are completely normal. I tried to put it out of my thoughts. But like you every time I had a headache or any other twinge, I would wonder if it was time to go to the emergency room. It did make me appreciate almost every minute of every day. Every morning I would thank god for another day. Guess I am still doing that.
So how do you cope? Talk to us about it here, we do understand. Many of us have gone through a multitude of experiences and will offer a shoulder to cry on, advice, and even a good laugh from time to time. Remember to also talk to your doctors about what is going on with you. It makes a difference and sometimes they can help you cope or re-evaluate with a test or exam. My aneurysm did start to leak causing a clot before my surgery. That is why it is important to stay in touch with your neurosurgeon if anything changes. Also, many of us get a second opinion. There are several different approaches to treating an aneurysm, depending on the individual variables.
Hope this helps you and please know that what you are expiencing is completely normal, under the circumstances.
Take Care,
Mary
Hi Jody...Fear is apart of this journey...unfortunately...somewhere and somehow you have to put this in perspective because if we survived aneurysm surgery ... what good is it, If we don't live life to the fullest ?...
Work on it Jody...everyday...and realize we have no control over many things including our annie's...however, we can live a healthy life and do the things that will help avoid rupture...
Remember it takes time to feel good with our "new normal"...but if Fear continues to rule...perhaps consulting a therapist would help you to talk through the fear and move forward....please keep us posted...~ Gotcha in my Thoughts ~ Colleen
Welcome to the sharing and caring community of BAF, Jody. I have to agree with Colleen that fear is a part of the journey. It also made the people who loved me fearful everytime I had a headache. It gets better with time but it is forever in the back of my mines. We have to decide to not let the fear dictate our lives. It took me a while to decide that I am going to live my life and not let the fear hold me back. Take care and I hope it eases your mind that you are not alone in this. It is perfectly normal. Give yourself time...Hugs to you, Roxanne
yes fear attacks us like an enemy in battle-but with God as our Ally we can fight it off and persevere, a pastor once said "fear not" is in the bible over 100 times! Why? -because he knows how we feel and doesn't want us to live in fear. On the other hand fear can be a good thing displaying wisdom like not walking down the dark alley for a shortcut! but i know the fear you refer to - a nagging, nightmarish type that torments us -usually at night when we are weak & vulnerable. I've known this type of fear for over 20 years, first with cancer then the dvt and now this. I know many of you can relate, we fend it off to live to fight another day. Thank God for all of you here! And thank you my brothers & sisters! Together we will build confidence. i luv what you said-i give it to God fairly quickly-i'm not a professional clergyman but that does sound biblical-i believe this is what He wants us to do!
Hello Jody welcome to BAF. It's quite normal to feel scared we all went through this feeling.
I already had a craniotomy last year and have another annie to be clipped. I know what to expect so i'm not scared. I have a great neurosurgeon and i have faith as well. I believe in prayer.
God Bless
Nikki
Thank you all for your advice! I do not let the fear over come me! I WILL NOT! I give it to God each day, sometimes hourly, but as most of you said, It takes time. I am pretty new to all of this and still learning! I am thankful for this site, somewhere to vent, ask ?'s and listen to all of your stories. My "annie" is not fixable at this time, so I am just praying that they will invent something to fix it. It is located at the stem of my brain just above my spine and has a "wide mouth" so the coil,stint,or clipping will not work, and if they open me up it is certain death...So I wait and pray...thank you again!!
Hi Jody...Yes I know the feeling your talking about....I had a ruptured annie or a SAH in July of 2009 l. had coiling and they found another @ the time they were going to watch....I read you post and smiled because I knew what you were talking about. I have had a real problem with headaches since my annie a constant throbbing one that I have some one had to learn to live with....Then There is My NASTY one that I get at least once a week..it puts me in bed all day and for a few hours it has me in tears...I remember the rupture...& I wonder if this is it and I do the same as you I Pray that God will get me threw the peak of the pain...and 3years later.....Its normal! =)
hi.jody yes its scary. we are allowed to be scared and worried thats part of being a human, but we can not let fear run our life. like u said leave it in gods hands.