A little over 3 weeks ago my husband had a ruptured brain aneurysm. He has emergency surgery 24 hours after the rupture. He was responsive right after the surgery. He spent 2 weeks in the ICU and is now in a private room. He has no short term memory and has halucinations. Its hard on me to see him going through this. I feel so helpless.
he i slowly getting better. They have started him on a liquid diet and trying to get him to walk.
The hospital he is in is over 2 hours away so I cant go and see him everyday. I do call twice a day to speak to his nurses and to him.
Some days here its really hard trying to hold things together. Taking care of the household and our kids. I cry alot when I am home alone. I try to stay strong but there are days where its very hard.
I didn't meet my wife until about 3 years after her aneurysm so I didn't experience what you are going through but my thoughts are with you. It IS hard. One day at a time. Vent or just let it out here any time. It helps, some.
Hello Lisa
My prayers go out to you and your husband. My wife has been hospitalized since May 15 and I can’t imagine a day without seeing her. She is uncommunicative but making progress and I know there is a long road ahead. It sounds like your husbands recovery is off ti a faster start. That’s great! Good for you in finding this group and I encourage you to ask all your friends, family and neighbors for any help you need. People will step up.
My heart and prayers go out to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope and pray everyday that your wife gets better. I know its hard but i know she come around soon.
Sorry for what you are going through. It sounds a lot like me. My husband had his rupture in December. He is physically doing well, but he has cognitive deficit. No short term memory. We have 4 kids. I wish I had a magic answer for you. Everybody's recovery is different. He was home for a month before I put him a nursing home. I only see him every couple of weeks. The only place with a TBI unit is 45 mins away. I had to stop visiting as much it was too much for him and me. He still doesn't know why he is there. Every time he sees me he wants to come home. I understand your pain. I cry most days. I can't say that goes away. As a mother you keep going for the kids. Where I live there are cognitive rehabs that could help my husband, but no funding to pay for them. It seems no one around me will ever understand the pain of everyday life. I suggest you talk to your doctor and get something for sleep. I skipped before bed. Here I am at 4:30 am. Trying to figure out how to help my husband come home. There is no off switch for me. That is the hardest. I look at people enjoying life and I can't understand how they do it. I try sometimes to relax, but it's only temporary. I feel guilty for it. Trying to go on knowing what my husband is going through is painful. That pain is always there I carry it with me always. I can say that God has brought me through. Pray and talk to God, he will always listen.
Ty Michelle. My heart goes out to you. I do talk to god, alot. Sometimes I wonder if he actually hears me. I to see people happy with their lives and wish I could feel that way again. I do go up and see my husband once a week. I wont take my kids to and see him due to the fact that it would upset them. He is going to have surgery to have a shunt put in . If all goes well he will be moved to a close hospital for rehab. I too had trouble fiding a place to help him since he does not have insurance. i got lucky after talking to lots of social workers at the hospital he is in.
I have went to see my doc and he put me on antidepressants. they help a little. It still doesnt take the pain away.
i wish I could help you. If you ever need to someone to talk to I will listen.
I have been in your shoes...my husband had a ruptured brain aneurysm 2 years ago tomorrow..he spent a month in the hospital but I was lucky that I was able to be right there with him as our 4 sons are 21 to 14...evyerone understands that you have children to take care of so dont feel guilty. The first six months were difficult..he would forget that we had just had dinner or I had to watch him very closely as he would get out of the house and get lost. It was almost like have a toddler again. He was in such bad shape the donor team was called in for stand by.
When you go back to visit take pictures or you and the children ...tape them where he can see them, that way he will feel like you are with him. That's what I did plus the dr's used it a point of reference to see how he was doing..it really paid off one day..he couldnt tell the dr's my name, they asked several times he called me christy..my name is vickie..he then told the dr's that she goes by alot of different names...LOL.. when he couldnt answer their questions the dr's knew something was wrong and there was. They were able to repair the problem.
Two years later my husband is a working engineer..he has moments when he cant remember small things but we came away from this a stronger couple. We were blessed..so stay strong but its ok to cry..writing this to you brings tears for me.
Take care of yourself and if you need to talk send me a message.
Lisa, my heart and prayers go out to you. My husband also had a ruptured brain aneurysm Aug 10 2009. It took them 3 days to find where it was, and they put him in a coma. When finally found it, it had closed over and ready to rupture again. They put coils in, put only gave him a 10% chance of making it. By the grace of God, he did. He was in ICU 2 wks and private room for 1 wk. They sent him home and we were back in 4 days, meds he took were making his heart rate drop too low. The first year was really bad, and very stressfull. He slept most of the time and was very depressed. But about six months ago, they took him off the phsyc meds and he really improved. He drives, does volunteer work , golfs and life is more normal. He still has days he forgets stuff, and has some memory problems. But life has gotten better. I pray it will for you too in the near future. Our kids were grown, so they were a big support. Find time for yourself too!