New to this

Hello everyone. I just became member here. I was sitting at computer crying. I fell like none of our family and friends can understand what we are going through. I am sick of hearing "we hope this will improve". So I will explain. I am 34, and my husband is 40. We have four children. Ages 14,13,6,and 5. We have our boxer Trooper. On Dec 14th 2011 is when it happened. Prior to this we had stress in the marriage. I had just finished puttin away groceries when the phone rang. It was a nurse from the ER who sounded rather confused. Your husband was involed in a car accident. Which was very strange because he was a car guy. They thought he was drunk. No I said he doesn't drink. Well you need to come up here. The aneurysm ruptured while he was driving. Which caused him to pass out and crash into a tree. He was awake and talking strange when I got there. Then the ct comes back. Upon waiting for transport. He went into a coma. I will never forget the sound of the sirens in the ambulance. A doctor comes into the waiting room quite sometime later to explain he has had a rebleed, and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand. That he was going to drill a hole in his head to relieve some of the pressure, and he might not make through the night. I was alone. The clipping would be done in the morning. It went well. 4 days later they found another aneurysm. Another clipping. It went well. Then came the vessel spasms. Then the shunt placement. Then he was acting strange. So I forced them to do a test. Then the stroke. No injuries from the accident. No damage from the stroke. After 28 daysin neuroscience ICU he went to step down. Then 3 and half weeks of inpatient therapy at another hospital. Hehas just come home on Feb 10. He a much cognetive deficit, very poor short term memory, and much confusion. He requires my constant supervision. I guess I need to hear from others who are in this. We have God who has blessed us so much already. I don't know how I will care for him and support our family. I was a stay at home mom. His mood seems to rule my emotions. If anyone has any info or advice on his current condition. I see improvement. I just can't see the full recovery.

Welcome again Michelle...!

Remember one thing, he is so early in the stages of recovery...the brain takes so much time to heal...I suggested you talking to family and the hospital social worker...there will be other great ideas from other people here at the site...You have my prayers....Colleen

Thanks so much. Ideas are what I need. I am so lost.

HI Michelle and welcome to BAF

First here's a big hug that I'm sure you could use at this time!

Second, know that what you are going through is so normal for the journey that you and your family are just beginning. Please know that your husband is so new in his recovery that I'm sure he is just as frustrated as you are. As Colleen said, the brain takes a long long time to heal.

May I suggest that you read A letter From your Brain it will give you so much insight into what is happening and about to happen in your journey. Print it out and have your friends and family read it also. It truly has gotten me and my family and friends through may a rough day!

If you are a religious person, I have also found the following poem which has also gotten me through a lot:

Please know that I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Best wishes,


That is very helpful. Thank you. I will try to remember that. Did you know what happened to you? My husband does not.

Thanks I really enjoyed that letter. I pray as well. Still at times can't believe this is happening.