Hey everyone my name is Henry I’m new to this support group stuff but I thought I would give it a try. I had a brain aneurysm back in 2019 I was only 24 years old at the time, I was with my best friend on a lunch break and right when we were about to leave the restaurant I felt what I thought was water then what followed was the worst headache I’ve ever had. I collapsed and started shaking uncontrollably. In my mind I thought this was my end, my best friend got the ambulance at got me to the hospital as fast as possible. My family soon arrived and just seeing the fear in there eyes made my heart break cause the last thing I ever wanted. Unfortunately we soon found out that I would had to be transported to another hospital cause the one I was at didn’t have the staff or the equipment and the other problem was it was a stormy day and time was not on my side. It was either transport me by helicopter if the storm subsides or if it didn’t they would have had to driven me to the next hospital which happened to be close to 3 hours driving distance away. God must have heard my family’s prayers, because the storm subsided and I was able to be flown to the next hospital. Once I was there I was put in there ICU and was in there for a month. It took him five procedures and they ended up putting a platinum coil in my head and had to relearn to walk as well from being in bed for so long. And soon enough months later was told that I was healed completely even though I still get these nasty headaches and even to this day when the weather becomes rainy and cold and stormy my head and my body feels like it’s going through that nightmare all over again. I’m still trying to get my life back I might be physically healed but the mental scars are still there. So my hope is with this support group I can make the necessary steps to be confident in myself again.
Welcome again Henry! You are remarkable with five procedures under your belt in such a short time. It sounds like you had a ruptured aneurysm, they’re sometimes called a SAH which stands for Subarachnoid Hemorrhage or hemorrhagic stroke. The first time I stood up in ICU, I couldn’t remember what my feet were supposed to do and I was out of bed against the doctor’s orders. I was more afraid of not walking then I was of the RN’s or my doctor, call me oppositional or belligerent, either would fit LOL.
Doctors have specialities and when we get told by the Neurosurgeon all is well, they are looking at the aneurysm and its occlusion. Many of us end up with a Neurologist after we rupture to deal with the headaches. Some of us go to therapy to deal with emotional issues that change from before we ruptured. Perhaps you may need the help of both. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help, in fact it’s the smart thing to do. I can share what I do when the situation is like it was when I ruptured, I practice my relaxation breathing and remind myself it’s a different day. Perhaps that can help you when the weather gets rainy and stormy.
Thanks so much for starting a new and important topic!
@King_Henry60
Hello Henry
Welcome to our group. You did the right thing to start a conversation on our support group. You are not alone and many of us have had or still have the same feelings that you describe. A rupture is something that in my experience puts us in a fight or flight mode, we fight for our lives for a long time and our brains get beaten up. Then comes the recovery period of what we have been through, for some there is a lifelong struggle and for some of us we came out of it with very mild symptoms. What I have learned myself is that the physical recovery comes first and then we are starting to put the pieces together for what happened to us. The emotional recovery comes later and will often take long time with anxiety, PTSD and flashbacks from the day it happened.
I agree with @Moltroub , don’t hesitate to get help with a counselor or your family doctor. When I had my follow-up with my family doctor after my rupture, he asked me specifically about this, and he said that I should promise to reach out to him if I wanted help. For me, the emotions comes and goes, but for the most part it is much better now than before, my rupture was in October 2020. But I still get some flashbacks when I look at the carpet on the floor at our entrance door. That’s where I was trying to lay down, waiting for the Ambulance to arrive, but my head hurt so much that I had to sit on the floor, I vomited and the last thing I remember is that I thought I was going to die. I promise you that it will get better with time. But don’t hesitate to ask for help, you have survived and you deserve to feel better.
Thank you, I won’t lie to you when I relearned how to walk it hit me in my pride. I was always very active in my life, I was a football player and wrestler in highschool and after I graduated I worked at so hard labor jobs so at the time they said that I would need a walker I was determined to come back to my life walking so I trained in the hospital little by little. Soon enough they said that I needed to use a cane but I still keep trying and they gave me a full physical testing my reflexes and they told me that I didn’t need any of those things and that I can walk without any supports. With all that said I’m trying to keep that same mentality when it comes down to the anxiety and fear of everything happening all over again that I can beat it I’ve gone to the therapist talk to family and friends but I knew I would need to talk to others that have gone through that same pain that I went through, that would understand.
The PTSD has been one of the obstacles I’ve been facing since that day, the other tough part is learning the differences between headaches. My uncle was one of the people that understood cause he had a stroke years before I had the BA and told me just to remind myself that you are ok. Unfortunately he passed away and I felt alone cause he was there for me and helped me cope with everything I was going through. I started going to therapy and it’s helped but even then when it comes down to all these emotions about the BA and the fears that I have it’s just not the same as talking with someone thats been through it.
One of the things that I’ve learned in my senior years (wish I had learned it much earlier) was that what I place my attention on is what I create. And when I am able to remember that, the Serenity Prayer has been a very useful tool for me to place my attention on the things I can actually change versus those I cannot.
@King_Henry60
I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. It’s always a nice thing to have a support around you. On this site, many of us know what you are talking about as we have shared a similar experience with a rupture. It’s good that you have a therapist, I think it is sometimes better than a relative or a friend, but to talk to someone who has been through the same thing makes it easier to know that you are not alone. The best thing I have ever read on this site was when a patient asked the neurosurgeon about what she could do and the neurosurgeon responded something like this “ don’t let your aneurysm, that is now successfully treated, dictate the rest of your life “
My neurosurgeon said to me one year ago that I should go out in life and celebrate the fact that I am alive. I think that was a very good advice.
No one of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Try to live by your uncle’s advice, go on with your life, and we are always here for you 
High school for me was decades ago but I still remember the day a young man slammed a volleyball from another court into my sternum. It felt like a cannon had gone off and I dropped down, unable to breathe. Fortunately the new coach knew I had a rib brace on for a split sternum and she yanked that thing off quickly and I was able to breathe again. It was extremely embarrassing as I too had just started attending that high school 
. Until I ruptured, that was probably the worst pain I had felt. There is nothing to compare the “thunderclap” headache we get when we rupture.
Somewhere between my second and third procedure, my Neurosurgeon told us that my brain had healed all it was going to. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her she was incorrect and my brain would continue to heal. Priceless! I told her about a Psychologist down in Texas that’s been doing a decades long research with several thousands of patients, Dr. John Sperry I believe is his name. I had attended some training at work and learned about his research that’s come to the conclusion the brain continues to heal long after the trauma. When I attended Chico State, it was believed that any brain damage after the age of 5 was permanent. The training where I learned about Sperry’s work has given me more hope than I can say. I ruptured in 2013 and my brain is still healing. Unfortunately, his research isn’t well known in other professions.
Whilst being a bit oppositional to what doctors tell me I can and can’t do, I have learned from here, we have to be kind and patient to ourselves. It can be a very hard lesson to learn. But what @oct20 says rings true for me, don’t let your rupture control your life. Henry, you are obviously a fighter or you wouldn’t be walking. Always remember how strong you are when those flashbacks come. When they come, breathe deep all the way to your diaphragm and slow. Inhale through your nose, hold your breath and count to five then exhale through your mouth. It’s best if you practice all the time so it’s second nature. It will slow down the adrenaline when the flashbacks come, you won’t be able to tighten your muscles because your brain is receiving the oxygen it needs. It also lowers your blood pressure. During flashbacks, people often quicken their breathing and don’t breathe deep enough as they’re stuck in the memory. Their adrenaline shoots up which causes an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, then muscles tighten. Controlling these through doing relaxation breathing correctly will help. When you learn your “tells” of when you’re starting into a flashback start the relaxation breathing immediately and remind yourself that was in the past, tell yourself what the full date is and that you’ve come far since your rupture. I had issues going down into the basement of our old house because that’s where I ruptured and passed out. It was also where I kept the majority of my old hand tools for woodworking and would build things with them. You can overcome the issues storms bring.
I wish I would have joined sooner all of your advice has helped me so much in this short time thank you all
I had promised my Neurosurgeon not to get on the internet about aneurysms for a year after I ruptured at her request. This support group was the first thing I joined!
Has anyone else have a problems with the weather change and still get headaches and dizziness and some certain lights hurt? I know it’s been about 6 years since I’ve had the BA but some of the pains haven’t gone away
Hi Henry,
Welcome and thank you for being so honest with your experience. My husband, Dan, had a rupture 2 years ago this Feb 25. He hasn’t been the same, physically, cognitively or emotionally since. He was always the most even tempered, kind hearted, thoughtful person. I know that he still is those things, however he has great difficulty expressing himself without snapping (at me because he doesn’t talk to anyone else) or having outbursts. He is very angry, anxious, fearful and depressed. The things, like being able to multitask easily and remember lots of things have been altered and he feels like he is less of a person and has spent these last 2 years waiting for everything to return to the way it was. I told him from the very beginning after I brought him home from rehab that, no, he was not going to be his “old self” again and it didn’t have to be a bad thing. He has had (and still has) the opportunity to dream and learn something new. I am not going anywhere in spite of the verbal and emotional abuse. I keep encouraging him to share and reach out in this forum. It has been invaluable to me and I am so grateful to everyone here for a safe space to share, vent and learn. I will share your story with him tomorrow and maybe, just maybe, you gents will communicate. He is a huge football fan!
Hi Henry. Thank you for sharing your story. A ruptured aneurysm is very frightening experience. Im so glad you survived and joined this group. My aneurysm ruptured 22 years ago. I experienced a complete change in personality and various other things but over time most of them have abated. Hang in there and maybe get some professional counselling. Good luck and I hope great things are ahead for you in the future
Good advice Moltroub. We all seem to have many symptoms in common after our ruptures. Mine ruptured while I was watching my 12 year old son play soccer in a field nearby. For many years I could not drive past that field without having some kind of reaction. As my rupture was over 20 years ago the fear of driving past the field has gone. I agree with you totally about the brain continuing to heal. The difference in my brain function between 5 years after rupture and 22 years is totally different. God bless you all
I really hope my story helps him, your story hit me right in the my heart. Plus I’m a huge football fan as well, my favorite team is the San Francisco 49ers and it’s one of the few things that gets my mind off of the BA. I also have a cat named Milo and he is a comfort animal and has saved me as much as I saved him, maybe that could also help your husband.
I really appreciate you telling me that, it’s just some times when these headaches come on I fear the worst. I try to keep my mind distracted by work, listening to music, watching TV, and playing videogames which has surprisingly helped a lot or reading some of my comic books. I have gone to therapy and it’s helped but it helps to know that I’m not only one and so far all that have shared with me has helped me more than I ever thought and I thank you all
I have issues with hot weather now and never had it before my rupture. But it seems my body is colder, especially my lower legs and feet in the colder months and get extremely hot in the warmer months. My temperature is correct for me and I have no issues with my heart, except the SVT nor anything blocking my veins and arteries. I love being outside in any kind of weather, always have so I’ve learned to wear clothing different from what I once wore. I just figured it was my hypothalamus that took a hit along with other areas of my brain. I experienced a lot of brain damage with my rupture and the 21 days of vasospasms. Age may come into play as well and I was diagnosed with dermatomyositis a few years ago. I’ll have to ask my Rheumatologist about that.
Headaches and dizziness tell me I have not hydrated enough or eaten enough protein. Bright lights, especially flashing or flickering lights still affect me pretty bad. I’ve learned to close my eyes for a few seconds and then I will open my left eye which is not as sensitive then my right eye which is very sensitive as my rupture was on the left side of my brain. I always wear sunglasses when outside. For the first few years if someone’s home wasn’t dark enough, I’d keep my sunglasses on and when I was in a grocery store. It’s taken many years to acclimate my brain so I don’t need to do those things quite as often. I do keep a ball cap in our two vehicles, I’ve developed a collection of them in the first five or six years after my rupture. When I’m on the tractor which I had to put a cover on it, or outside piddling in the yard, I wear a wide brimmed hat much like an Aussie hat. We still need to hire someone to come in and put some window darkening film on the front of the new to us house so I don’t t get headaches from the sun coming through them. I could probably do it but I’m no longer allowed on a ladder.
Everything became trial and error for me after I ruptured, but I keep on trying!