Welcome to Ben’s Friends
MOST DEFINITELY!!! That is: there were HUGE changes for me too.
I was up, I was down, I was sideways. Ohh, it was messy. I have often said ‘I don’t know how my wife put up with me’. In my mind I didn’t have a problem, it was everybody else who had the damn problem. I was trying to manage me, both the physical ‘Me’ and the emotional ‘Me’ (and I wasn’t doing it very well). I was exhausted and I took it out on those around me. I wasn’t doing it with intent, but I had nowhere to put my angst, my frustration and it came out of me in a destructive way.
I say ‘…both the physical ‘Me’ and the emotional ‘Me’…’ Physically, my normal limits/tolerance had all changed. Before all of this I had 2 speeds, full tilt and stopped. Post surgery even getting to 1/2 my normal pace was a challenge. I had to carefully plan my tasks, this was all very foreign and it annoyed me. I wanted the ‘Old Me’ back. Emotionally, I had a ‘hair trigger’. If someone said the wrong thing, BOOM, and I’d explode. Afterwards I’d often feel SO VERY guilty for my outburst. It wasn’t the person, it wasn’t what they’d done. It was me, but I had nowhere to put my angst and it would come raging out of me.
2weeks post op is still VERY early on in her recovery. The whole process of neurosurgery from the initial diagnosis, to the operation itself, all the way through recovery (how ever long that takes) is unlike any other medical procedure. The external wound may heal up extremely well over those 2 weeks, but with the brain itself, that can take much longer to settle.
I’m sorry to say but those are questions none of us can answer. It is an assessment only you can make. Personally, I do not believe giving up is the answer but by the same accord giving her space and options to be able to work through her anxiety/depression could be beneficial. Neurosurgery is a shock to the whole system and it can make us re-assess ‘life’, but to be making such assessments so soon after major surgery can lead to rash decisions, often clouded by pain and/or medications.
I do not personally know you. I do not know your partner, nor your personal circumstances and they all need to be taken into serious consideration before making a decision, but time can be a great healer both physically and emotionally.
Merl from the Modsupport Team