Question regarding personality changes

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Hello, my name is Keith and I recently posted asking for advice and support, as I am having a craniotomy and clipping of a 7mm aneurysm in my anterior communicating artery. I am so grateful for the input I have received.

In research I have done and feedback I have received within BAF, the topic of personality changes post-surgery has me concerned. Can anyone please help me me to understand if these personality changes are short term, or are these potentially life long changes? I’m afraid of becoming a different person to my wife, friends and work.

I’m 10 days away from surgery and quite anxious. Thanks everyone for your support. Keith

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Hey Keith,
Your anxiety, that’s normal, I can assure you of that.
The personality changes REALLY concerned me too, that thing in my head, my brain, is what makes me who I am and they wanted to go poking around in my head? The whole idea scared the bejeezus out of me.

This is an impossible question to answer. As I often tell fellow patients ‘Just how our brains are wired is very individual for each person. Two differing people can have exactly the same problem, requiring exactly the same surgery but have vastly differing outcomes’. To be honest I didn’t think there was much change in personality, but according to my wife, there has been. Nothing drastic as such, just little things. I used to work with people with challenging behaviours, so I needed patience, LOTS of patience, well, that evaporated. Primarily it was patience with self that disappeared. Before if I wanted to do something, I did it. But post surgery I couldn’t and that was SO VERY frustrating, I tried to push myself, which only made my symptoms worse, which then fed that frustration further. I was going around and around in circles, which angered me and sometimes that frustration/anger affected others. I have been told I’m not a good patient. I want it to be right and I want it right NOW. It annoys me that it’s not. I like to be in control of me, but I can’t always control any of this Grrrrrr. How my wife puts up with me I do not know. I think she must be a damn saint sometimes.

For me, acceptance was key. I had to accept the reality of it all. I had to accept I had no control over any of it and accept that I had to hand all of my control over to the medicos (And for a control freak like me, that was not easy).

My advice to you is ‘Be kind to yourself and those around you’, your recovery takes as long as it takes. Do not push your recovery and listen to your body. I say this because I didn’t. I was hard on myself, I pushed too much, too soon and I didn’t listen to my own body. This made the whole recovery thing so much harder. If you are at peace with yourself this can make the whole process so much easier for everybody. Talk to your wife, let her know your fears and your concerns. This doesn’t just affect you, but everyone around you too.

For me, music became my ‘Safe place’ where I could switch off and just listen. I don’t know if you listen to music, but here’s a song that helped me through it all.
Baz Luhrmann - Sunscreen Song (with lyrics) - YouTube

Best of luck with it all and please let us know how it all goes.
Merl from the Modsupport Team

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Breathe @KMG! As Merl says, no one can answer specifically about personality changes which may or may not occur. The biggest change for me after rupture is I talk a lot. My better half even asked my Neurosurgeon to shut my chatter box off. Her reply was that she liked me talking. I have no filter anymore and we never know what is going to come out of my mouth. Prior to rupture, I rarely spoke unless it was something important and weighed all my words carefully unless I was livid. My occupation was geared to active listening not speaking per se. It was also one with an incredible amount of stress and chaos. I can handle neither now.

With these things, keep in mind I ruptured. There was a lot of damage to my brain. You are well ahead having it repaired prior to rupture. I think you may find that your neurotransmitters have to reroute in the area of surgery. This will happen, but it will take time. As Merl said, be kind to yourself and others. Kindness will get you to where you’re heading. Also be patient with yourself and others. If you become fearful, impatient or angry, remember we have all been through it at some point or other and we can help you, just ask.

Merl also mentioned music. Music is extremely important with everything, don’t ask me why, I wasn’t a music major. We do have some knowledgeable members that know why. I love that song Merl suggested btw. Here’s what got me through 26 days of Neuro ICU https://youtube.com/watch?v=rJTCKol8VFU&feature=share

If the link doesn’t work it’s called The Soldier and the Oak by Elliot Park. I recall many of the Neuro ICU staff coming into my room not to administer to me but as one RN commented there was a peacefulness in my room that wasn’t in the others and they just needed to breathe.

All the best,
Moltroub

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Hi Keith!

Best of luck with your upcoming procedure. Now i cannot confirm that personality changes will for sure happen, but i can share my experience. I ruptured feb 2020 and was clipped and a craniectomy all at once. I’ve since recovered, very well actually. I did at first experience some personality changes. I’ve been told i don’t have a filter anymore. I tend to speak whatever it is I’m thinking. Some have found it funny. I find it relieving. I used to always be appropriate and say things only when i felt it was the right time. I also experienced an increase in emotional responses and a little bit of depression. But I’ll attribute that mainly to being alone during quarantine and during the pandemic. You Should remember that the brain is an amazing organ. It can be retrained. I was able to train my brain to stop responding so emotionally at times. I was able to even think more logically during circumstances that frustrated me.even with these changes, at the core…I’m still myself, that hasn’t changed at all. I am still the same person to my family, to my boyfriend, to all my friends and colleagues. Maybe just a little more outspoken, and a little funnier, but I will take that. Just give yourself time to heal, and be kind to yourself, I had to be reminded often that my brain was still healing. And some of the changes were also a result of slower processing, because my brain was and still is healing. Just remember once you’re out and cleared, do more of what makes you happy. Whatever that may look like. Best of luck! I am sure you will recover well! And please feel free to reach out if you have other questions.

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Hi Keith! I had a clipping and Craniotomy in the same location at the end of June. I did not experience any personality changes. The most important thing to focus on is recovery and taking it day by day. Good luck!

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Hi Keith
I was scared and anxious too. I think it’s a completely reasonable response to a major operation. My good memory and my verbal ability are my two biggest assets, they’re who I am, and I was afraid they’d be damaged and I’d be “useless”.
I had two aneurysms that were clipped 6 months ago, September 2020. One was tiny, one was an unusual shape and ruptured during the clipping. After a short stint in ICU, I was returned to a regular ward and overheard the nurses doing a shift handover where they described me among other things as being “ intact” despite the rupture. :blush: well, that was good to know! I thought I was coherent and my normal self but I couldn’t be sure until I heard their description of me.
So, have there been any real changes in functioning or personality?
In some ways I’m better because the intense, week long headaches I used to get before surgery are gone. I’m sure they must have made me a real joy to live with! In the past 6 months I’ve only had 3 or 4 headaches and none of them lasted more than a few hours. However, the headaches have been replaced by the strange sensations that a healing skull produces. Right now, it’s a numb feeling but I’ve also experienced an odd water trickling sensation, and when I’m feeling hot or physically over-exerted, there’s a little bit of discomfort around the bone plate. It’s nothing awful (a lot better than the mega headaches!), but it is a constant reminder that my skull itself is now vulnerable. I also have a weak spot in my Carotid artery (in my neck) that won’t be operated on, so I feel vulnerable and anxious especially when I’m in the car. No matter who is driving, and even sitting stationary in a car park, I feel hyper vigilant and anxious about being rammed and hurting my head or neck.
I don’t count that as a personality change, the anxiety relating to feeling vulnerable is just something that I’m having to deal with now that I didn’t before. I’m not as resilient. Again, I don’t count it as a personality change, just a process of healing and adjusting.
Some people have said they became more talkative and lost their filter, but I think I’ve become quieter. It may be 6 months later but I’m still “processing” the whole event.
How did I go with my two big fears of losing language ability or memory:
I think my verbal ability is a little diminished and I don’t express myself as well as before. It takes a fraction longer to formulate what I want to say, however I don’t think it’s noticeable to anyone except me. I can get a little frustrated with myself.
Remembering/memory takes more effort than it used to but it’s getting better. It’s something for me to work on but it’s not the disaster that I imagined pre-op.
Overall, recovery is a work in progress but I’m still me, and I feel lucky to be alive and have had the opportunity to be clipped. I’m really looking forward to my 50th birthday this year!
Best wishes for your clipping, Keith, please let us know you’re doing.
Natalie

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Beautiful music, thank you for sharing!

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I had a clipping two and a half years ago. Still struggle with headaches during change in weather and long computer use. You’re lucky to have found this group beforehand as it really helps! Be patient with your healing (many months worth!). Good luck!

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Hi Keith, I’m also had an unruptured wide neck aneurysm in my anterior communicating artery. It was a little over 5mm in size. I also was a candidate for a craniotomy and clipping. My surgeon performed a procedure called webbing. It took the place of coiling and the craniotomy. Have you heard or been informed of this procedure? I understand your surgery is getting close but it’s not to late to inquire about this procedure. I hope I haven’t stepped out of line for suggesting this but, please do look into this procedure. Good luck, Boots62

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Greetingz Keith!
I feel your anxiety and it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling. As for personality changes, like most here have replied, we all have different, yet similar experiences. For me, I became overly emotional…
I am emotional by nature, but after my procedures I was very easily led to tears, and a feeling of being unable to do some of activities I use to do. If you have any behavioral changes, I’m sure you will be able to adjust to it. I told myself this is just another version of me, and in learning different ways to accomplish tasks, was the hardest for me. I’ll be praying for you, and trust all will go well~

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It is completely okay to feel anxious. Be good to yourself. The folks here were amazing. I was a wreck before. We are all with you!!!

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Hey Keith,

I’ve had 2 aneurysms clipped. Both in the anterior communicating artery. The 1st was in 2006. After that clipping I lost my sense of humor!!! I was voted most witty of my H.S. Sr. class and I have always been witty and then nothing! It came back all at once about 6-8 months later. Was having brunch with friends, said something really witty and every person at the able said, “you’re back” in unison!!!I

In 2017 the 2nd one was clipped. Maintained my sense of humor this go round!! However, that craniotomy just enhanced the other things that had changed for me. Like Moltroub, I have no filter. I say pretty much anything and I don’t shut up!! My spouse will give me a gentle touch if we’re at a party or eating out with friends when I talk too much. Auditory and visual overload…my neuropsychologist said the “broad band filter” that everyone has in their brain to filter out nonsensical is gone in my brain. My brain sees and tries to process everything. That overload will make my brain become a “mush brain” in a short time.
My 1st clipping, the surgeon’s nurse told me to sleep as much as possible after the surgery. She said my brain will be angry! To let my friends and family know that if I’m tired, I might say things that I would never say before the surgery. She was right!! (That’s another story and a day my Mom will never forget) Take naps…lots of naps! Your brain heals as you sleep.

I also listened to a CD by Bellaruth Naperstack. It’s called “Guided Meditations to Promote A Successful Surgery”. A friend gave it to me about 2 weeks before my 1st craniotomy. I think it saved my life. I know it helped to calm me down…from being scared.You can download it off of Amazon. I’ve given it to everyone I know who is having surgery.

Keith…you’ll be fine. Even if there are some changes…you’ll still be you. I’ve always talked a lot…I just knew when to stop before. I now ramble when writing a response on BAF support. And I’m still the same inside.

You’ll be in my thoughts. Please let us know when you can how easy and successful your surgery was. I shaved my head before both surgeries. I hate having dirty hair…so I got rid of most of it. It really made being in the hospital easier. My 2nd surgery, my surgeon did something different. She put electrodes all over my scalp and body. And if I’d had longer hair…UGH!! That was to monitor brain activity, seizures etc. Those stayed on me for a few days too.

You will have hundreds of us here thinking of you and your support group. I’m finally going to stop typing!!!
Mary

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Hi Keith,
I had no personality changes except this is me recovering from a very big surgery. I felt more vulnerable. I’ve since learned to brush off stress better or just get away from people making me feel tense.

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I was very afraid of this too. I remember waking up from surgery, feeling my arms and legs and then texting my husband and sister. And being SO relieved that I am still me.

But I’m a very different person post surgery. Not due to deficits. A greater sense of gratitude, an increased resilience and not sweating the small stuff. You got this. You will get through it.

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All you said about overload, I definitely relate to. I call it brain tired. When there’s to much coming into my head, I get very anxious, as I try and process all, and can’t. My best friend of 57 yrs always knew when I needed to shut down, or when she saw I was on the verge of tears. I still get confused when overtired, and have learned when to bow out of conversation or activity. Some family never understood this need, and that’s ok. Even simple game playing, board games, cards, can be overwhelming if I haven’t had adequate rest. I find comfort now that I understand what my needs are. I use to push myself thinking if my body isn’t tired, why can’t I focus and be clear. Thank You for your share, as it’s comforting to know the understanding that is present with all here. Gods Blessingz!

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Board games! I’m trying to relearn Mancala, a game I used to excel at and now can’t remember the rules on moving the stones. UGH! But we have to keep on trying don’t we?

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I haven’t heard of that game? When I can’t seem to remember, I step away from it, hoping my memory will click back on. Sometime thinking to much makes things harder, for me. Hope you recall so you can enjoy your game.

Alwayz♥️Love

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Thanks @Blessed1! It’s a strategic game where one moves stones around a board with hopes to get the most stones in their home place. It’s a game for two, perhaps you can get your son or a friend to play with you! The game comes in all sorts of price points depending on what the stones are made of, plastic to real gems! Ours is just polished small pebbles.

Walking away is good advice for many things in life!

Have a great day!
Moltroub

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