I seem to be going through some sort of depression. Very sad most of the time, quiet, somewhat withdrawn and tonight I sat here looking at my photo following my craniotomy and cried. I haven't done this until now. I see my surgeon this Wednesday April 6th and do you all think I maybe I should mention this to him? Has or is anyone else going through this? Is this normal?? Please give me some guidance , I need could really use some right now...
This is so, so normal! You should see less of the depression less & less each day. There will be good days & "off" days. Weather also can hinder one's sprits. Remember- Baby Steps with this recovery.
Let your surgeon know. When was your surgery? Nice music helps too & fresh outside air :)
Hi Judith, thank you for replying. My surgery was Feb 3rd (8 weeks ago) I had a craniotomy for an unruptured aneurysm on the middle cerebral artery. I do get outside and walk but I also find that I get tired but even sitting outdoors is nice. Directly following my surgery I was (don’t know how to explain this)…for an example, I would wake in the middle of the night and want to phone my family members and just tell them how much I loved them! This went on for quite awhile and now I’m feeling this way. So frustrating. Sometimes I feel like what “monotone” would feel like , if that makes any sense?
Let your Doctor know...I went through this...anger, saddness, etc., still do at times...my neurologist told me it is PTSD...Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...from almost dying and the induced coma...I feel it is the seriousness of the annie had finally hit home...before surgery, I was sorta in denial...went about life, etc., then afterwards...it hit me...also, the anesthia...does a number on us...and can cause some strange feelings, namely depression...for me...mine showed itself as anxiety...on anxiety meds...helping...but not as much as talking to myself...( and no I donot answer me...hhahaha...!) and lots of walks...
Your Doc's should be able to help you...this depression seems to be a common thread with brain injury...
Keep us posted Tina...because we all learn from each other...and know I think of you often...Cyber ~ Hugs Colleen
Completelt agree with Colleen. So well put! It is a common symptom for many if us after the surgery. Our neurons pick up different, deep emotionality is what I tell myself…LOL…but it absolutely does slowly improve…nit like in one’s first 3-4 months or so. You are still so very early in recouperation! Rest. Xxoo. Judi
Hugs to you both. :-) It's nice to hear from others that I'm probably not crazy after all! I'll mention this to my surgeon tomorrow - also see family doc Thursday. I keep thinking to myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way. I can certainly see any of you that have suffered a rupture but I didn't...thankfully!! I guess if the brain has been tampered with , it's been tampered with and there is no telling what your experience will be until you get there.
I HAD SURGERY 23 YRS AGO AT UCLA,CALIFORNIA. I HAD AN ANERYSM READY TO BLOW UP.
I WAS ADMITTED HRS AFTER CT SCAN. I HAD THE ANEURYSM IN THE TEMPORAL LOBE AREA. LATER,THE NEURO TOLD ME TO TAKE DILANTIN, 3 OF 100 MG AT NIGHT. THEN, THE 6 MONTHS AFTER THEY TOOK ME OFF ALL OF THE SUDDEN.
I HAD A SEIZURE AT WORK, THE ER DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT I WAS A LITTLE EPILEPTIC PERSON. I WENT THROUGH 7 YRS OF AGONY, T HOSPITALIZATION IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL
HORRIBLE UPS AND DOWNS AND BOUTS OF DEPRESSION. I LOST MY JOB AT BANK OF AMERICA, AS A MANAGER, DIVORCED AND FILED BK IN LESS THAN A YEAR. I' AM ALIVE AND GREATFULL, EVERYDAY IS A NEW BEGINNING. I ENYOY CLASSICAL MUSIC,READING AND THE
BIBLE. I TRY TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY EVENTHOUGH I TAKE CARE OF MY MOM WHO HAS ALZHEIMER. WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS NORMAL TO FEEL THAT WAY THE FIRST 6-12 MONTHS.REMEMBER THE CHEMISTRY OF YOUR BRAIN CHANGED. I FORGET THINGS,NAMES,DIRECTONS. I GET LOST ONCE IN A WHILE. BUT, IS NORMAL FOR ME. ACCEPTANCE AND FAITH IN GOD OR HIGHER POWER HAS GIVEN ME PEACE. NOW, I CAN WRITE POEMS, FEEL MY EMOTIONS AND BE A BETTER PERSON. I HOPE THAT YOU GETTER
Thank you Santiago. You are right. For some reason I continually have to remind myself of just what I"ve gone through. I tend to expect too much of myself , always have so the bumps along this journey can throw me for a loop once in awhile. My surgeon wanted me to take anti depressants for a bit. I’m also, hopefully, being admitted into a program with the Brain Injury Clinic. This service will help me with many things that I’m trying to sort out. Like why would I find my wallet in the trunk of my car when I’m not even driving yet?! Or, the windex in the fridge? Or I put things in such odd places some times. hahaha. Hopefully, there is help out there. lol
From what I understand depression is normal after a brain injury. My therapist told me that I was clinically depressed, and I think she is right. Ther are good days and bad days for me, the problem is that people in my life just don’t get it. My girlfriend seems to think that I should be back to normal and because I’m not I’m not trying, or I’m a slacker, etc. WTF?
Daphne...this is so true...we all look good...even to mds...One neuro told me I looked great...when I asked if he could see my brain...he dropped the subject...
Depression is definitely related to the parts of our brain that are damaged / diseased / injured...and the temporal lobe is a major connection to depression...
The one thing...this is not explained to any of us...depression is generally conisdered an emotional stress/ disease...not an injurial stress/disease...
Hi Tina - wow, I decided to log on this evening because I was looking for someone to talk to about my depression and then I say your post. First and foremost please communicate everything with your medical team. It is helpful for them in an effort to give you the best recovery care personalized for you. Your post actually made me feel better in terms of not feeling alone in the way I am feeling. I have my up’s and downs. I feel guilty at times that I am sad and depressed because I have so much to be thankful for - I had a great neurosurgeon and medical team and they successfully coiled my aneurysm on March 25th. I feel like I should be on cloud 9 so when I do start crying for no reason I feel guilty. I’ve read all of the responses to your post and have to say I agree with all of them. Baby steps, having faith and time I guess is the recipe for recovery. I hope your appointment with our doctor on April 6th went well. Thank you for your post - it was helpful for me based on your strength and candidness. Warmest Regards, Fabienne
just some inspiration that it does get better,,i am 6 mo shy of having two yrs clean of any problems and anny free...thr first year is recoop time and continues to get better everyday,,,in the beginning there was alot of anxiety witheach little tingle or twitch n my head..also God has helped immensely in reinforcing my healing..to not fear the future but to embrace and welcome this new beginning...life is here for us..we just hit a pothole(anny)..but now the recovery is our movement to smoother ground...be sure not to rush urself..and embrace this new n better person youve become...take care sweety n God bless
daphne if i were you id get rid of the partner u have and git with someone whos gets what is going on…dont pressure urself to keep up with someone elses expectations of what the norm is supposed to be,there is a new norm…and only you know how to be that person,love n prayers
Hope this is finding you better. I had my annie clipped 7 years ago and I still go through my "blue periods". I'm sure that the fact that I was laid off 2 years ago doesn't help much. I think some of my symptoms helped my supervisors make the decision to lay me off (forgetfulness, mood swings, constant headache). I was hoping that these would lessen as the years went on, but they are things that I have just learned to live with. I would really love to see a neurosurgeon again, but with no insurance that is not going to happen soon. My prayers go with everyone who has ever had to go through this "recovery".
Hi everyone. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth or anything, just trying to deal with this new life of mine that I can honestly say, I'm not too fond of! The depression comes and goes. Right out of the blue, I'll start crying and I'm not even sure why I'm crying to begin with! Very frustrating. I have to say that I just don't feel myself. That sums it up. I told my husband that I feel 'disconnected'. I used to look at the water and find peace there, now, I sit by the lake and feel nothing. Don't get me wrong, I feel love for my family etc. but for the most part...well as my family dr put down on my chart," flat affect". My speech is fragmented most of the time. I know I should be thankful and I am but it's hard. Feeling sorry for myself? Has anyone been told they have flat affect?? Is anyone out there dealing with it??? I don't like to post because right now I"m not the most positive person in the world. Angry at times, feel like throwing things, I've blurted out to complete strangers if they've done something that I feel they deserve to be called out for. Ugh...sometimes I just want to scream but that would hurt my head. lol
Pat, I have to agree with you when you said 'it can vary by fatigue days'. You are absolutely right. At the end of my day, it's like the brain says, 'ok, we're done for today'. I'll be telling my husband something or another and in mid sentence and I'll get stuck. I don't mean stuck for a word, that happens (too often it seems lol) but stuck as in a cd skipping. This happens frequently if I'm fatigued all day or this will just happen at the end of my day. I think my brain only works for approximately 6 hrs then it says, 'not responding, please wait". LOL