CRYING...does anyone out there NOT CRY since SAH?

Hi there,

Its been four years now since i had an Aneurysm that burst, followed by two strokes, I was very lucky. However one thing that is worrying me is the fact I cannot cry? I have just buried my Mum...everyone crying...not me..I used to cry normally now its just not there?

Has anyone else had this?

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Alexandra, I have heard about this phenomenon from AVM Survivors from several members. It may change over time. It is not something you can rush, though I understand it must be frustrating not to be able to experience that release. I hope other members will have some further insights for you.

Wow, Alexandra, the same thing happened to me with my burst aneurysm!!! We just had the funeral for my mother in law yesterday and I was the only one not crying. I have not been able to cry since the aneurysm. I'm not glad this is also happening to you but relieved that it's not just me.

Doesn’t mean you loved your mom any less hugs


Alexandra, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Hi Alexandra, I have discovered this too. I used to be easily moved to tears and quite emotional, now it rarely happens, and it is very restrained. I do understand what you are saying. I also had an aneurysm that burst a few years ago, I lost much memory and it took a while for me to get back to near normal operating, but I still feel blunted and distant from emotions. A friend that is a counseling type suggested that I focus on humorous things, life does not always allow us to focus on what is funny, so maybe this is an opportunity, but here I again, I don't think I have the depth of humor I used to have either. I'm so sorry for your loss, condolences. I hope you find emotional peace along your own path that is comfortable, and that memories of your mom will lighten your pain. Best wishes! KD

Wow! I have the same thing! I had a ruptured brain aneurysm in 2013 Mother’s Day, and I too gave lost the ability to cry! I had to put my horse down last year, no tears. I am usually one that gets emotional during singing at the opening if football games but no, not any more. I thought it was just me! Thank you for posting this!

I don’t cry and I also feel somewhat removed from the emotional impact of things in my life. I feel more like i have the level of emotion of being a close friend to the person experiencing or receiving the news rather than the actual one. At the same time I pomder if the experience has simply given me a better perspective on matters of both life and death.

My son was 11 when his rupture happened and he also doesn’t cry. Well he gets the emotions but no tears produced.

I also lack emotions in general apart from the not being able to cry. I used to be extremely emotional and am much more rational now than ever before in my life. This big change however has put a huge strain on my relationship because I woke up so different than before.

Hi Alexandra,

First of all, my sympathy on the death of your mom. I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm in 2007. I found myself unable to cry after that. I used to cry at Hallmark commercials. I lost my baby brother in 2011 suddenly--no tears from me, although almost everyone else was crying. I have just noticed within the past few months the ability to cry, but only when my children hurt my feelings. Somehow, that has the ability to bring on the waterworks. I have found that since the aneurysm, my emotions are all over the place. I get easily upset and angry at almost nothing sometimes, and other times I just don't care about anything going on around me. Hang in there. It does get better.

Dear Alexandra,

You are definitely not alone.

One month after my 3rd brain surgery, my boyfriend died , unexpectedly, in front of me.

It has been 5 years.....I became completely numb...

I should have died and yet Matt did.

I understand how you feel...basically it s#@%& are here for a reason, i know it is such a cliche.!!.but true!

Blessings, love and light,


It's different for all of us. I never cried. Don't know if it's a guy thing or not but I just didn't do it.

Now I weep sometimes for no reason at all. It just washes over me. When my Faith died (dog) I was inconsolable. Couldn't stop myself. It's gotten better over time but it should get better for you too. Time's the thing. Time and patience.

Alexandra, so very sorry for the loss of your Mum.

Do you mean you never feel tearful? Or you do, but your eyes just don't produce any tears?

I Googled and found this, but I don't know if it is relevant in your case:


Thank you so much for response, I feel so much better now and have had some wonderful answers...It seems its pretty normal.
Dancermom said:

Alexandra, I have heard about this phenomenon from AVM Survivors from several members. It may change over time. It is not something you can rush, though I understand it must be frustrating not to be able to experience that release. I hope other members will have some further insights for you.

Hi there to all of you who kindly answered my question about not being able to cry....I feel just by reading your lovely messages that its just one of those things that can happen, I am no longer feeling like a freak!! Thanks again you are a great bunch for answering me.

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You are not a "freak"!

You are a survivor!

You are stronger than you know!



Yep. I had a ruptured aneurysm in June 2013. My Mother passed away suddenly in February 2014. I had no tears. I had to take care of my Father so I really didn’t grieve my Mothers death until my Father passed away in December 2014. Not many tears. I do think I am more angrier now than before my aneurysm. More cut off but that is my doing.

Very interesting. I had a ruptured aneurysm in 2013 and the exact opposite thing happened to me - I cry all the time. Even just thinking about bad things that MIGHT happen…I cry. It’s awful. I really think our brains are affected strangely by the bleed. I personally lost my sense of smell. The few things I can smell now smell like poison to me.

Hi Alexandra, I had a ruptured cerebral aneurysm in 1970 and have had great difficulty crying since. I hadn't really given it much thought - although I am aware of not crying at my mother's or father's funerals despite the deep grief I felt both times. However, that inability DOES stem back to the time of the rupture. Anyone else have the same problem?