Forgive me if this gets a little long. I am the husband of a survivor of a Grade 4 SAH. My wife is 39, and had her aneurysm rupture without warning last April. She barely survived and was brought to the hospital not breathing on her own and had heart failure in the ambulance. She was stabilized and after a failed coil procedure, had her aneurysm clipped. It re-ruptured, but she made it through. Somehow, she recovered fully. She wore a portable defibrillator for three months, but her heart recovered as did her brain. She is on shunt #3 currently. One did not work, one got infected and now she seems fine. While she's doing great we spent 66 nights in hospitals and rehab centers in 2014. She returned to her job teaching at a college four months to the day of her SAH. 8 months after, she was surfing on a beach in Mexico. I am so, so lucky. I know this, as does she. What I struggle with these days is peace of mind. If she is tired, or her back hurts, I wonder if it is the precursor to something more serious. The other day, she had her first headache after her last shunt surgery. it was a bad one, but quick. On a bus crosstown in Manhattan. She guzzled water and felt fine an hour later. She's convinced she was just dehydrated. She is, by all accounts, happy and healthy. She takes no medicine. I, however am an anxious mess. I was strong when I had to be, but live these days in a constant state of anxiety. I want to know where you find peace. Does anyone have any books or articles that helped them ? I am spiritual, but not religious. My wife and I are young, and hopefully have many years left to live. I want those years to be happy and not living in a state of anxiousness or fear of something bad happening again. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks in advance.
Greg, PTSD is fairly common for spouses of patients who have had a stroke of a rupture, not just for patients themselves. Counseling really helps people get to a place where they can move forward again. Sometimes anxiety meds can also be helpful. Reach out to your gp to get a referral to a counselor or psych professional.
Greg, I think my partner, like you, is more anxious than I am. I find since my rupture, dehydration effects me faster than before, your wife is probably correct. I personally love “Taming your Gremlin”. It’s a quick read, cute pictures, accurate, easy to follow and relevant for all sorts of life’s bumps. It’s been a go to book for many years. And because you asked and I went on a search they now even have a website https://tamingyourgremlin.com/index.cfm. I can remember when there literally was not enough books in print… I may think of more, one is at the tip of my mind…just can’t grab it yet.
I remembered with a little help from my partner…The other book - “Who Moved My Cheese?” Great book as well. Probably the only two self help books I recommended over the last three decades.
Thanks very much for the suggestions. It's really appreciated.
If you prefer more complicated reads, let me know. I know a few people who like to read self help books. I’m more of “The Tao of Pooh” kinda gal. LOL
Francesca, thanks so much for the additional suggestion.
Greg, my husband was the same after my rupture, he would get really freaked out if I wasnt well in any way, or had a headache etc. A couple of times in the following months I blacked out for no real reason and he said it reminded him of when I had my rupture, my eyes rolled back in my head and I dropped like a sack of potatoes. time seemed to help though, and if your wife remembers what her rupture felt like then she will know if something serious is happening.
It's hard not to be anxious after what you watched her go through. these days my husband seems to deal with this much better, it's been around a year and 3 months now for me, and his anxiety about me has really come down and he is not on edge all the time. I think as time goes on and you see your wife continuing to do well, you will feel better, and you will realise that sometimes she will just have a headache and it's nothing more. Back pain for example, is not a symptom of rupture, it happens well after a rupture when the blood is draining down from the brain through the spinal column, so I wouldnt worry about that, but if she gets severe head pain or vomiting then that's a telling sign something is very wrong. Of course, if you get worried, then dont hesitate to take her to the doctor to discuss things.
I have two verses I have memorized. Phillipians 4:6-7 and 2 Tim 1:7. Read these and commit them to memory. When the anxiety and fear come speak these out loud and you will find peace…
John, you’ve found a topic that’s 9 years old! If no one responds by tomorrow, I will close it.