Now What

So, Friday night my gf of almost 4 years tells me that she is not capable of supporting and showing up for my upcoming (July 28) craniotomy and clipping. And Saturday, while we were in the mountains she tells me that when we get home she is going to another town to spend the night with another woman. WTF!!! We haven’t spoken since returning home, and I remember somewhere along the way apologizing to her for having a sick brain. I don’t know what to do.

apologize…that is insane…dont apologize for something that is clearly out of ur control…been married 24 yrs …its for better or worse…if shes not gonna be there when things arent honky dory u dont need her…you can do this and make urself well n God will put someone who truly loves u in ur life…stay strong my sister…:wink:

Thank you, Michelle. Thank you so very much for your encouragement and kindness.

Daphne..a repeat of Michelle... and, adding that your friend may not be strong enough, let alone, caring enough, to be with you. Yu need strength...and, you have it within you...your family...and, other friends...also find out if there is a local support group...If no BAF group, try (my mind is blanking) the Stroke association... and the Brain Injury association...there is so much link to the brain in all of them...

My prayers for your July 28th surgery and prayers for quality care.

Blessings to you,


Whatever happened to "in sickness and health" deserve so much better Daphne...

I am sorry this is happening to isn't you...or your sick is she...

Gotcha in my Thoughts...Colleen

Tell her don't let the door hit her on the way out. You deserve much better than this. Be glad that the weak side of her and true side of her has shown up now and not 15 yrs from now. Sorry for your hurt and all that you have to think about when you are faced with this surgery. Be strong, be postive, you come first. You are the one that matters here, NOT her and her suddenly found, 'cant do this' crap!!

Let her go and you focus on the number 1...and that is you!!!

I head to Richmond in the morning for all of my pre-op stuff… alone.

Daphne, I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Please try not to dwell on the negative right now. I know that’s easier said than done but you must try to remain positive through all of this. This is about YOU. Not her, not her lack of compassion, her lack of support and lack of commitment to you. She has made it clear that you are doing this alone, so…chin up, think about how fortunate you really are to not only find out the truth about your gf but that you are also going to get well. You do not have a sick brain. If you allow yourself to go down this road of destruction, you are the only one who will suffer. NO ONE is worth your over all health and well being. You can do this. Keep us posted. xxx

Daphne ,,, What a freaking crappy thing to do! soooo sorry for the bad gf news,,,, but we all here will be praying for you and supporting you,,,,at least she was honest ,,,, brutally honest but honest,,,,,,, make sure you take her OFF this years Christmas list !

sending you hugssss and prayersssss and be strong gal! you can do it

there was an old saying " don't let the door hit ya where the dog should have bit ya"

I don’t think youare crazy to have apologized. Although my aneurysm was clearly not my fault I felt horrible about causing my wife so much anxiety and apologized. It stinks that she is not willing to help you deal with what you are going through. Some people can’t handle that kind of thing. If you’re a couple it comes with the territory but some people can’t handle it. Throwing another woman into the mix just seems needlessly cruel. You can count on your virtual friends to be with you.

we will be here for sweety…you r not alone…work on making urself well n not the negative things shes bringing to the table…u are #1…remember that…here for u …

Someday you will look back and Thank God she did you this FAVOR!!!!!!!!! I have been married 37 yrs and he has been beside me every step of the way.My prayers are with you sweety!!!Stay strong!!

I find it difficult to find words enough to express my gratitude for all of the loving thoughts and words that have been offered. I am doing my best to take care of me for now, yet most of my thoughts and energy goes into thinking of her and her absence. I know that somehow I will make it through all of this, and I know that when I look around me I will find all of you there.

Hi friend,,, yes,, i can relate ,,,, in a way,,, after my coilings i thought of my husband alot,,, he had died the prior year,,,, the same month of my surgery! It was very hard,,,, but during my surgeries my one sister let my daughter stay at her home and had homework faxed to her and let me stay at her home the night before and after the surgeries,,,, and then we would get home ,,,, it is not easy but we did it and we still go through things ,,,,, you will have alot of support in the hospital also,,, I chatted all the time with the drs and nurses,,,,be strong,,, and don't look back! There is way too much to look forward to ! Huggsss and prayers,,, Julie in Delaware

Hi Daphne. My name is Renee and I am new ton this site but your post about your upcoming surgery was one of the first I had seen. I wanted to give you some comforting words before your surgery but realized it’s already taken place! Like this latest surgery of your, mine was unruptured. The fear of having the surgery can be so overwhelming. When you feel better please update on your status. I pray all went well and that your gf has shown support. If not - gain support elsewhere- my husband was my biggest supporter. So important to lean on your family and friends! And like you I have young children that needed me! Prayers and thoughts for you

Okay, I am still alive. If anyone happened to get the license plate number of that ginormous fucking truck that hit me please let me know. Question: How long does the eye swelling last? I would really like to open it soon and be cleared to drive again.


(((((((((Daphne))))))) its great to hear from you, have been thinking of you! , glad to see you have your sense of humor, but I have no idea about the eye swelling and how long it will last, huggsss and prayers to you, Julie in Delaware

I could open my eye after about day 5 but it was still really swollen and bruised. Once I could open it my vision was blurry and i had a lot of double vision. My eye looked pretty normal about 2 weeks after surgery. I started driving again when vision cleared up around week 3 or 4. Glad it went well. Hang in there!! It WILL get better.

Hey girlie… I’m so gald your ok… Huggs…

I AM the new Princess Staple Head!!!