Just sharing the background, the story, and the questions and concerns.
My wife had her craniotomy about 8 weeks ago I guess. It was early May. I took our kid camping with boy scouts and came home to find her with "the worst headache ever". She used to get migraines, so we thought it was one of those. Well two days later the headache is still horrible so we get her into urgent care, and they send her to the ER, where she is diagnosed with a subarachnoid hemorrhage and admitted to the hospital. Turns out the aneurysm was leaking. Lucky for us it was a small leak -- besides the headache there weren't any neurological symptoms at all.
Neurosurgeon took a look and found the aneurysm; the base was too big for coils. So they went in and did a craniotomy and clipped the aneurysm. Procedure went well. She went home 8 days after being admitted to the hospital; 6 says post-surgery.
Time in the hospital wasn't easy but we made it through. Time at home hasn't been too easy either. The kid and I came to grips with the magnitude of what had just happened while she was in the hospital... but during that time she was still in a drug-induced haze. Once she came home I think it really started to hit her.
She has had some aphasia since the surgery. The neurosurgeon really wasn't worried about the aphasia at all, says it will get better. I point out the times when I get stuck on words -- we all do! But whenever it happens it seems to really scare her. She is working with a speech therapist, even though her aphasia is really mild she still wants to get rid of it as soon as possible.
And being tired... oh the being tired. It's reassuring to see that so many others are going through the same degree of fatigue, but a little intimidating to see how long that will stick around. I've been playing "single parent" (working single parent) which is tiring but I can do it -- heck real single parents do it all the time. But I do miss my wife -- so many days where she is asleep when I leave for work, barely awake when I get home, then back to sleep soon thereafter.
I may try and get her to join this group. I know she is still scared. Scared that there may be another aneurysm waiting to happen. Scared that the aphasia or the mental fog may be permanent. Scared that her energy won't return. She doesn't tell me all of this but she tells me some of it, and I know that her being scared and trying to soldier through it just makes her more tired.
I want her to not be scared. I want her to be happy. I love her and just want her to be better.
Awe Paul,....I hate to throw it out there, but here it is: "time"....its a time based recovery with lots of time to want to get better, to scream and shout and more time dealt in dealing with how much more time its gonna' take to get back to a semi normalcy, inbetween the time where so many more questions will crop up and that feeling of "Omg..will this never end!"
It has got to be so rough for you Paul to deal with the chores of both mom and dad, plus working a full time job and hearing confusing , never before
heard of , medical terms and in trying to absorb what it is the medical staff is trying to say--at least for a while-)-(sigh), its not an easy role you've undertaken ~ I wish for nothing but the brightest of outcomes for you as the three of you grabble with this.
Peace, Janet
Hi Paul. I hope your wife is doing better. I am a survivor of a ruptured aneurysm.(SAH) It’s been the worst of times for my husband and 2 kids. My SAH was 2 years ago, an unexpected illness, no warning or indication. Even on that day only a completed gradual shut down,of my body I knew in fact, that something was wrong. No blinding headache as most survivors described. Read my profile, it will tell you the whole trauma. Yes, it was a horrendous trauma not only for me, but my whole family. But there is a rainbow, after the storm,with the support of my husband, - (the rock, )my kids, - (inspiration), and relatives, and friends- my support system. I am a miracle from wheel chair, to walker, and now a cane. Yes, a walking miracle, It’s going to get better Paul, my husband knows, what it’s like being a single parent. I was in the hospital for 4 months! Yes, fatigue is still there. But I take one day at at a time. We are a stronger family unit, after being traumatized. Keep on doing what you doing, you’re a wonderful husband and father. My thoughts and prayers are with your wife, your kid and you. Keep the Faith.
Hi Paul, I'm happy to hear you were able to get your wife in before it became worse. I also had a craniotomy because the aneurysm was too wide for coils. This was in September. I forgot my son's name for a while and couldn't remember the names of things so I'd launch into a charades type thing just to ask for something as simple as a bottle of water. It was scary. But I noticed some improvement when I started playing little games. My first game of solitaire was really freaky. My Mama had to sit there patiently waiting for me to count the cards out to seven. I forgot how to count! Once I proudly managed that I realized I couldn't figure out patterns or numbers. That first game took me an hour. It became a little challenge each day. Same with the washer. I'd load it with that gripper reach stick and forget to turn it on or put detergent in. So each time I'd stand there talking to myself; load, soap, close, on. I started playing small games on my kindle like scrabble, math games, brain games like Einstein. My family would play card games with me like bingo, something called DoodleDice, and Shut the Box. I started noticing an improvement in my speech (besides forgetting I was also slurring alot) around February. I'm much improved now but if I get very tired I forget words and start slurring again. The other big thing that helped me IMMENSELY was when I joined up here. I think it was the fact that others understood what I was experiencing and were so darned nice. Hugs to your family. Tell your wife to give it time. To be proud of herself for look how far she's come.
Wishing your wife a full recovery, Paul. Your support will mean the world to her. One day you will look back and read this and see how far you both have come. Keep us posted as she recovers, and continue to ask any questions that come up. We are rooting for her!
Thanks everyone. I read your stories and get reminded of the fact that all in all we got off pretty lucky. Still isn't so easy though. Really helps to know that I'm not the only one. And I just needed to know (and I really need my wife to know) that yes it does get better eventually.
At 7-8 weeks its early in the healing process. I had coiling done but experienced the same fatigue and some aphasia. I had speech, occupational and physical therapy at home for weeks after being discharged from the rehab hospital. It was so very helpful I would recommend that be considered. Especially the speech therapy. I didn’t need it for speech but cognitive reasons. I’m now almost at the 6 month mark and still need the speech therapist so it is a very long recovery process. It can take 6 months to a year for brain healing. I was told your brain has to work twice as hard because it is trying to heal itself in addition to doing all the normal functions like walking or simply just lifting an arm or getting out of bed. Fatigue is a huge part of the healing process. It will get better but just slowly so hang in there.
Hi Paul...I am with Janet on this and time...but I must say you sound like a wonderful husband ... and I think this will make a big difference in your wife's healing...Thoughts out to you ~ Colleen
Hello Paul -
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I pray that your wife recovers quickly...although I know that isn't soon enough. Last July I was diagnosed with my aneurysm and had my surgery. My husband (my rock) had to take the many roles that you are experiencing and at the time our son was 3. I honestly don't know how he held it together - but he did. And you can too!
I understand your wife's fear, every time get a headache I still panic. I'm pretty sure I have driven my neurosurgeon crazy. I just want her to know she is NOT alone, nor are you. This site has helped me realize that.
Take care,
Shannon