Hell is here

When Ibwas in the hospital things seemed easy. I could not understand what the issues were, “ I’ve got this,” I said.
I got into my sisters house with no problems. When I got out to walk I the house ( thank God for my walker), I could barely make it up to the door and back to the bathroom. I cruised out to my recliner, where i proceeded to get up and down, try to fix the dishwater abd feed the cat. The. I say down started sobbing and told everyone my head was shrinking.
I was trying to get in and out of bed and realized it was higher than I thought and I cried. I could not get Alexa to work and I got frustrated and ctited. My mother tired to help but she has a hard time walking.
I should have just left him alone but the
I saw my notes from surgery that said i did have a bleed.
I am not amused.

SAME! In the hospital, you just follow instructions, take your pills, do what they tell you to do. I was in ICU for 11 days after surgery (2 cm clip) and then regular neuro care for 3 days. I felt like a miracle patient coming home so soon, then reality hit when I got home. I also live alone. I was suuuuper emotional, felt the pain more, and felt like everything was unreal and somehow staged? I’ve now been home a month and I can tell you, it’s MUCH better. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much, but in my case at least, it really did start to let up after a while. Verrrry slow walks outside helped - just to move and feel connected to the world. But I couldn’t do that for at least a week. Each day is a tiny victory.

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how are you feeling now? Are everything going well? We are thinking of you

There’s just been so much that I’ve had to take care of that it hasn’t given me any time to really rest. I try and take pain pills, and they constipate me, so I’ve had to go back to just using Tylenol. I was hoping that my mother was going to stay and help take care of me and she didn’t feel good and so she laughed and so I was on my own from the beginning. I’ve had some friends step in lately and just kind of Babysit me, for lack of a better phrase. However, I’m finding that I’m getting paranoid or maybe just anxious is a better term. Before I went to have surgery, my cat was having problems with her bowels and now every time she goes near the box and I don’t see her poop and it gives me anxiety, which intern keeps me a horrible headache. I had outlander for my paperwork that my little aneurysm had a small leak in it, which is what was causing all of the weird stuff that was happening to me, therefore it needed to go. But right now everything seems so big. And I keep wanting to depend upon people, and there are some people that are very good and there are some people that have said they were going to help me and haven’t done absolute shit with me. They haven’t even checked in on me. I guess when you go through something like this you find out who your friends are and who they aren’t. I just need to go to sleep for like three days.