My wife had an aneurysm burst on February 22nd, 2011 while driving home from work. She drove herself to the hospital while calling me for help. I stayed on the phone with her until she was able to get to the parking lot. I had her blow the horn at the emergency room until they came out to assist her. It was one of the most significant events of both of our lives as I was also on the east coast in buiness and not here with her. I luckily got a flight out within an hour and arrrived with 5 minutes of her arrival at the University of Chicago. Due to the nature of the problem they Life Flighted her from the orginal hospital to the University of Chicago where they operated the next morning. During the observation they found another aneurysm next to the one that burst behind the right eye and coiled both of them. They left another one yet to be operated on behind the left eye due to the complexities of attempting to operate on both at the same time. 21 days in Intensive Care and then moved within 2 days to begin therapy at the Chicago Rehabilitation Institute. When she arrived she was unable to walk and struggled with memory and speech. 2 weeks later she has been released and while making a remarkable recovery in most aspects as she continued with 20 days of out patient therapy. (Limited by insurance coverage)
Living through this is has been such a miracle but she is now a very different from the woman I love and who has been my best friend from the first day I met her. Her heart has always been so big, her compassion for others, and how she treated herself and our friends and family has always been so special. She has always gave so much of herself to others that have needed help and it's now her that needs the help.
It is now July and I contiue to try and find my best friend and my wife. I talk to her and try to discuss how she feels and why? She tells me that this is just the way it is right now. Her ability to motivate herself in these areas is non existent and when I try to challenge her it only angers her which is not what I want her to feel.
She would rather stay home and sit in front of a television, she very seldom involves herself in conversations with others, her attention span is limited at best and she does not maintain herself to the level that she always has. I know she understands these short comings and differences but she refuses to try to add the extra effort that a situation might need for her to handle it similar to before the aneurysm. When we do talk I am hesitant to point out too much as I do not want her to become depressed. We have always continued to accent the positive. Her living through that frightful evening, her ability to work hard during the rehabiltation sessions, and being able to come home and start some resembalance of a normal life again.
When people see her they are shocked about how well she looks after only 4 months. They do not realize that she is still trying to find herself in regards to her personality both from an emotional aspect and her past ability to interact with others. Her memory while not as quick as it was has been much better than expected. When she was released from out patient therapy her diagnosis was that she need improvment with speach, memory, and attentiveness. I have appealed this to the insurnace agency and am awaiting a secondary answer this week.
I sit here night after night and worry that I may never see my wife and best friend again and it scares me more than anything else in the world. I love her more than I ever thought was imaginable and now I lay awake every night trying to understand what is happening and why. I realize it has only been 4 months but I feel she needs addtional help, more than what I am qualified to assist her with.
I sat in the hospital with her for 4 weeks without leaving and prayed that she would live. I knew that if she made it through this we would be able to handle any other obsticles that we might have to face. I also never thought I would be writing this. Who do you talk to and who do you share your inner most thoughts with when your best friend isn't there to share them with you? People offer but these are not easy areas to just openly communicate.
There is so much more but I need to get her medication as I will continue to look for my best friend and wife each and every day of my life.
Thanks for taking the time to read the ramblings of a lost soul.
I'm lost without her, and my life, home, work, and everything else pales in regards to the current void. I don't know if this is a discussion or a method of allowing myself to share my thoughts with others that may have or had the same feelings at some time. I will never stop searchng or fighting for her. I need the woman that changed.......my wife and more importantly...my best friend.