Thomas been there said that, then they act like you are morbid for making a comment like that. But that’s how I feel. You just cant explain the fear and the anger that we feel, we dont all have the strengh or energy to feel greatful. We just want to be left alone and to deal. Which we havent figured out how to yet, or if we ever will. For me monitoring my aneurysm for 4 years and then having it double size in 3 months was not real to me. My mother and father both died from aneurysms so i guess i just don want to deal with the realization of it all. And thats my choice. So believe me i know how you feel. Margaret
Hope you are feeling well today. The snow keeps coming down here-it is really beautiful/dangerous looking out here. Another day of life:)
Hey there everyone - just have a second, rushing out the door to my son's 8th b'day party - it's NOT an UGH day!!!!! I've had lots of good days....just wanted to share for those who are reading for the first time....days get better, not all are UGH!
Have a good one yourself - Jennifer
Jennifer,
I did miss this earlier...and, I am overlooking it all, except...
Wishing you the grandest Happy Birthday for your 8 year old son and, that you are there beside him!
Pat
I just wanted people who read this to know that days do get lots better. The UGH days, they are real and awful, and I've seen others post about being in that place too, and it's normal, but just feels so so awful. I guess I'm wanting to give hope to anyone reading my post that despite the high level of frustration and anger and judgement (of myself) I was feeling then, I've been feeling lots better. It's an overwhelming event for all of us. And some days and moments in days are overwhelming. But more and more times are also feeling normal, and I find that I'm getting some distance, some times, from this trauma.
And thanks Pat! My son's party was so fun! I played laser tag and it was a blast....we all do have good days and moments, if not now, then soon.
xo
You have every right to feel that way. It flat out sucks to be diagnosed with this, and to go through all the pain, and being scared, but it will get better. I know I was complaining about headaches, but I’ve definitely gotten much better as time goes by. You kind of just have to deal with it. I understand how you feel, and everyone still says the same crap to me. I know we’re lucky to be alive, but you’ll (& me both) need time to deal with everything else. You’re going to keep hearing the same thing from people that have never experienced anything like this so try to stay positive, and if you ever need to vent or curse, you can do on my page lol!!
Hi Jennifer…how is your mom doing??? you both have been in my thoughts…let me know when you get a chance…hugs colleen
Hi Colleen -
Thanks so much for asking! She's been moved from hosp to a skilled nursing facitlity - it wasn't a stroke, but she's not very mobile, needs PT and OT and using a walker which is crazy as she's never been like this before - we're not sure at thispoint how much is physical (she was on the floor, alone, having fallen, for 3 days, but nothing broken ), and how much is psychological. She speaks much of her confidence being shaken as part of why she can't walk unassisted. My siblings and I are getting worried though, as she shouldn't still be so physically compromised. She also seemed a little "off" cognitively tonight, so I'm just not sure what's up. But it isn't right. I don't know....she's only 72 but seems to be resigning herself to the life of a 90 year old when there's really no reason to. We'll see how she is in a few days - it's tough not being right there.
How are you? I'm doing pretty well - taking my daughter to neuro tomorrow for dizziness that's been going on over a week now - she's 13 and does have migraines ("icepick" migraines - very quick but very severe). Busy busy busy.
Take care - wrtie when you can -
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer...it is so tough with our parents...and I hope things start going in a better direction for mom...I am sure they will check her for signs of dementia...and see if this is causing her cognitive problems...poor thing...
I am ok Jennifer...trying to take it "day by day"...yesterday I was so exhausted and had one of those headaches...but took my meds and slept good and woke ... "knock on wood"...feeling pretty good this morning...Thank ~ you for asking...
Oh hate the migraines for your daughter...I had them at her age and grew out of them...until the last year...I do hope it is nothing serious and Doc's can help her out...please keep me posted..
I have you and your family in my prayers...you have a full plate ... ! (((Big Hugs Colleen)))
You are not alone in you’re frustration. I am still learning to cope with a condition that is not seen but limits my activity. I have tried to surround myself with people who understand how I feel. My best advice is to take good care of yourself and allow for healing. I found that doing things on my terms have made me happy. You don’t have to be rude in explaining certain limitations of social activity, but you have to balance what you can do. The real friends will know without constant health updates. I hope this made since. No one, including doctors, has a clue of what you’re dealing with except us. Things can get better it just takes time and on you’re schedule. Best wishes, Jerry
I can identify with the parent issues. I am a bit older than you. I lost my Mom 3 years ago. A month after she passed my Dad had a stroke. I lost him 3 months ago.
I hope things are OK with your daughter. It’s tough when you are worried about kids and your parents ll at once. Make sure to find time for you.
Jennifer,
I am so glad Colleen asked about your mother...other than she had fallen, me memory is slipping on detail....I will look it up later...and write more there... may be a few days...
Wishing you a better day or two and many more...take them one at a time.
Pat
Thanks Pat -
My mom is doing well, and my daughter's scans were N-O-R-M-A-L! So things are looking up. Still have to do a 24hr EEG w/ my daughter, but we're in migraine/possible seizure land, NOT aneurysm land. Relief!
Glad to see daughter isn’t dealing with annie’s…but sad about her migraine’s…hope they can get her good meds to help control them…Thanks for the update Jen…Hugs Colleen
Thanks! She’s been put on low dose beta-blocker, and we’re waiting to see what the 24hr EEG shows next week. The neuro said that the beta-blocker will take a couple weeks to show if it’s helping - but poor thing has been dizzy for 2 weeks now, but she’s a trooper and carrying on as usual. How are you?
Hi jennifer...Glad she has no annie...I too ... am on a Beta blocker...started a few months ago for headaches and high Bp...it really helps but takes time to take effect...let us know how EEG goes??? Good they are doing tests to be on the safe side...but I expect the EEG will go well...
Well...I haven't had a headache in over a week...last night ... 2am...woke me up...a bad bad headache...started on my ferocet every 4 hours...took until around 3pm to feel better...took dog out for fresh air...as long as I stay on top of things when one starts ... usually last only a day...which I can deal with ...
I go to see my neurologist on Friday...I email updates and based on Bp numbers and some concerns since coiling ( I will be glad for him to see my right eye )(still very droopy)...he wants to see me and hubby for follow~up...he is not the surgeon and usually much more helpful in explaining things...
I will tell u Jennifer...my anxiety is really bad...I can only hope this will get better with time...but good to talk to Neurologist about it...
Oh btw...finally going out to dinner with hubby on Saturday for Valentines...and dammit...I am having a nice glass of Merlot...can't wait to have a nice time...
Have a Great evening...! Thank~you for all your kindness...it is greatly appreciated...Hugs Colleen
Jennifer,
So glad your daughter's scans were fine! Glad you are having the EEG done.
I missed this entirely earlier...you have had your hands full. Sometimes we never know why we have so much in time spans! In the time frame I was in emergencies/hospital...sis/b-i-l lost his mother, I was at the memorial service the week before my second emergency...then, their 13 y/o granddaughter had had syncope and was getting EEG's...she was limited on some of her sports activities... cannot remember the details here... I think of you, your mom and your little one!!! Prayers are wrapped around you all...
Pat
Thank you Jerry -
I'm actually (usually) doing lots better than when I originally posted, but I agree with everything you said. I find it's an emotional roller-coaster - sometimes I really struggle with it all, other times - more and more - I'm feeling glimpses of being okay. But I still don't feel like I've "landed" emotionally yet - maybe once I'm past the 6mos angio, which won't be til late April. That said, I'm having lots of great times too - and appreciating them.