Today is my two year anniversary of surviving my ruptured aneurysm. You can read about it in my profile. The last year has been a change to the better, although I was very lucky to come out of this almost without any problems. The feeling I had being a little bit different than before the rupture is almost gone. I feel more like my old self. The fatigue is less than before. I still need a good nights sleep, but I seldom have to rest during the day. My emotional recovery took longer than the physical recovery, there was a lot to process. It’s not over yet, but much better than before.
This forum has helped me very much. There will always be a “before “ and “after “ this traumatic moment. But I can live a normal life again. I just came back after my three mile walk in the neighborhood, I try to do this three or four times a week if the weather is good. I call it my weekly medicine to be out walking. Next week I have a MRI to check my stent and coils, I really hope everything looks good.
I try to give support on this site for everyone that has been affected. Thanks to all of you for your posts.
Your story is inspiring and gives me hope that I will be able to return to work soon. Right now I am working on balance and working out to get fitter. I go visit my workplace to desensitize myself of the hypersensitivity to light and sound. I feel I may be able to start gradually going back to work starting with an hour and then increasing the time slowly. Thank you for sharing 
Hi @Suszanne
Good luck with your recovery. I can see that it happened not very long ago for you, you are still in your first year. You seems that you have a solid plan on how to get back to normal, or maybe I should say the new normal. I remember that my neurosurgeon told me a year ago after I had my angiogram checkup, most of the healing of the brain happens during the first year, but it doesn’t stop there, it’s a continuous process. He also said that we tend to be better with coping with the difficulties that may remain and accept that.
I am glad to hear that my post gave you hope. That’s what this forum is all about.
I wish you all the best.
Happy day! To get through the first two years is a fantastic mile marker as you probably know. Walking three miles is awesome, good for you! I would gladly take a walk about with you any day.
Ms. Lena, the support you provide to me and other members is excellent! I often try to emulate you. You succeed in your efforts to help other members!
Life is different, nothing like a good old aneurysm to change our perspective in life. I go for a walk every day and no longer spend time on the past. It was a struggle letting go as there were many issues to contend with. The emotional and physical changes are often the biggest hurdles to overcome along with the changes that continue to present themselves. Everyday being a new day while learning not to let our worries get the better of us. Keep smiling.
@John
This is so well described! There are days when I wonder , why did I survive, what is my new purpose in life? I have found out that helping and supporting others in different ways makes me feel better.
I wish you all the best.
There are a lot of good people out there helping others, unfortunately, not all are doing so for the right reasons. It is a great feeling knowing that what you have done has made a difference to another individual. Even more so when they are not fully aware of what you have done.
As for wondering why you are still alive, could it be that you are not done here yet?
@John
I think you are right, that’s the answer I have come up with. It wasn’t my time to leave this world. All of us that are writing on this forum were chosen to live.
@oct20 you are among the most supportive people: don’t worry about that!
I can say that I’m very much the same after discovering my AVM and the risks it posed, even though I haven’t had a bleed, it shook my world. While being a patient and in need of support – the emotional side is most subversive – I decided to share back, to help others.
There is a whole new way of life to be discovered by helping others and if you have discovered that through having your aneurysm, then I think that could be a most amazing thing. I’d sign you up to ModSupport any day.
Happy anniversary!
Richard
Thank you so much @oct20. I did not know about the brain and its healing. I just know that now I understand why the brain gets so tired. So, if the first year is most of the healing that means that the brain is making new pathways to compensate for some of the damage. Thank you also to @Moltroub for telling me about the pathways. Thank you @DickD and @John for helping me to understand about the new “normal”. You all have been so helpful and supportive. I have only one question for you…if someone told you that you could never do something you loved so much, would you just go off and do something else or would you do the thing that you loved with adaptations? I say never say never!!
After my operation, I would play Solitaire on the computer for hours on end. I had no interest in winning but just run through game after game as I needed to do something as I was not capable of doing much at the time. I could go to the shop for three items and return with one. That was my new normal at that time. As the weeks and months went by, that new normal changed and continues to do so. There were times I needed to push myself but also times when I needed a nap. Back then I could easily say I will never be able to do this or that and rightly so given the state of my brain at the time.
In answer to your question, study the obstacles, find a way around them, and be prepared for compromise.
I would say that I would think of what risks are involved in that activity. If it is jumping from an airplane with a parachute or other potential dangerous activities, then I would have chosen something else. ( I’m just trying to be funny…) Also, if you are on blood thinners perhaps you might give some activities a second thought.
I can give you an example, I paint with watercolors and I have had so much fun in attending so called Plein Air Events where 40 artists paint during a week, outdoors in a given area and then there is a beautiful reception with all the works on display and for sale. My husband wanted me to start doing this again and I had my doubts if I had the energy to do it. He said that if I decide to do it, he will be my driver, carry my stuff and stay with me the entire week. Off we went to the Adirondacks in NY, an 81/2 hour drive from where we live. Guess what, it turned out that I could do much more than I thought, I had more energy than I expected and it felt so good to doing something I love and to start feeling more like my old self.
@Suszanne Would you like to tell us more about the activities you would like to get back to?
@DickD
Thank you for your kind words and thanks you for offering me to have a different role. I think I will stay the way it is for now, but I will let you know if I change my mind.
Helping others has been my professional career, 30+ years in the healthcare system in a country overseas, first as an RN and later as a Certified Nurse Midwife. I think you may have figured out that English is not my native language.
About giving back, when I was asked by the neurosurgeon if I would accept to be a part of a research study I accepted right away, it is something that will help others in the future. I don’t know exactly what the research is about, but I guess it has to do with the stent and treatment of broad neck aneurysms. I have to ask about it at my follow up appointment.
I don’t think I’ve had to make this choice, so it is difficult to say, but I constantly encourage others around me to go and grab those things that you can do and do them instead.
I worked many years ago with a guy who had spinal bulbar muscular atrophy. By the time I knew him, Alan looked like a frail old man but in reality was in his late 40s despite relying on an electric wheelchair. What I discovered was that as a younger, healthy young man he had been very much an outward bound kind of chap: running, mountain climbing, sailing, all sorts of very fit adventures that were so far removed from what he was able to do by the time I knew him. So what I saw instead was a man who threw himself into the things that he could do and he wrung as much from those as he was able. I know in his last years he used to enjoy flying a glider and he was always present at work, leading the development of an area that I worked with him on.
Life deals us a rough hand from time to time but it doesn’t mean we should resign from the game. So my outlook is driven by Alan and I’d find things I liked almost as much, and go and do those.
If you can carry on with adaptations, why not do that as well?
I recall the first time I went to the grocery store with a list. It had multiple items and I couldn’t remember which products we preferred. I came back with a lot of groceries. BH learned to make better lists​:crazy_face:
Whenever you’re ready, please let me or @ModSupport know! I’m really interested in hearing more about your involvement with the research so I hope you can one day start a new topic on it.
I’m not allowed to ride horses anymore but it’d been awhile since I’d owned one. Just the limitation had me agitated for a bit of time. But I do love woodworking and have begun relearning all my power and hand tools. Can’t use power tools unless someone else is with me. I’ve adapted to wood carving, pyrography and drawing by using patterns and images that I can print out as I can’t hold an image for more than a few minutes in my brain. I had to start these last things with learning how to color again. Started reading again with books from the teen section and am up to a book every week or two! Still use a dictionary or an online dictionary to give me a definition of something I don’t remember.
So yes ma’am “Never say never!”
@Moltroub
I will try to remember to ask about this at my next follow up appointment. I remember the neurosurgeon told me that he needed my permission and signature in order to be able to publish the scientific papers, and if I recall correctly it happened before the stent. I suppose it could be a multi center study of long term outcomes of this particular stent, but I’m not sure. I also think they have many patients enrolled from the hospital, I’m not the only one.
One thing is for sure, without research we might not have survived……
There are many activities I would like to get back to. My main goal is to get back into the classroom and provide technology to all students who may need it. I would have to desensitize to the light and the noise. I would have to be able to help many students within a class. The adaptations I would make to my job is to have a quiet room where I could work one on one. Have scheduled times for students and be able to deal with emotions from students or myself as I am less patient now. The loss of words and the void are the big things I would have to deal with (black brain). I might have to split my breaks into minutes here and there. Golfing is another activity I would like to get back into. I just find I am too dizzy when I move my body to fast (as in twisting or squatting down and getting up). I am working on balance and doing beginner workouts to help with things. I would like to go back to school but I don’t have the focus to be able to do this yet and I might start my sewing business up if I can’t go back to my job. I chose my career, golf, and sewing because they are the activities I love to do. It’s all going to be baby steps, but I think I will be able to do it.
I agreed to help with a bit of research when I had my Neuroform Atlas Stent installed. The Dr’s theory was related to obesity and aneurysms. I’m not small anymore, but I am short. So with paperwork signed and witnessed, she did the ultrasound on my left thigh. She appeared flabbergasted and I asked what’s wrong. No fat was her reply. I apologized for confounding her hypothesis and actually suggested she try the other leg. You should’ve seen the look on her face with my choice of words, priceless! The other leg didn’t have any fat either lol. I already knew that from what Dr. Q-W had told me. The Dr. told me that I’d get the results of her research but I’m still waiting. It will be two years in December, so hopefully soon!