It has been 10 months since my wife had her rupture. Her short term memory is still only minuets. Has anybody had this experience for this long of time.
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Mine has been a year and i still have problems with my short-term memory.
Thank you for sharing that. I will keep you in my thoughts. I find this very frustrating i can only imagine how it feels from your side.
Janine, To say the the first several years were really difficult for me would probably be an understatement. My Speech Therapist was of great help to me. She hadnāt had a lot of SAH patients but she had a lot of ischemic stroke patients. I hold the belief that damage to the brain is damage no matter how we get it as the results are basically the same. My ST had to start with very short sessions as I tired easily I think they were about 30 minutes. By the end we were able to work the 50 minutes.
I still have problems with working memory, which is a type of working memory.
If I remember correctly, your wife was hesitant to work with any type of therapist. I think she actually refused. If you can find someplace that does a multi disciplinary approach in Neurorehabilitation, it might help. It may include Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy. There might also be a therapist included. Check your big hospitals or stroke centers in your area. Hopefully, she is sleeping better and taking walks. Exercise, proper diet and proper sleep are all extremely important in our healing. If she still isnāt sleeping through the night, talk to any of her doctors. Probably easiest to start with her PCP or Neurologist if she has one.
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Sheās had Pt, OT, and Speech she just can not retain anything new. Her short term is lIterally a few minuets. She does does not like to leave the house and will not do any type of exercise . the only person she says no to is me and does this often. Will not get her own food, often does not get dressed unless i really press hard and then she is unhappy and says so . i have told he physical medicine doctor her Neuro surgeon and most recently a neuro psychologist. We have a follow up with her in a few weeks maybe she will have a suggestion. I just donāt think my wife cares about anything.
This sounds like it has been a tough year. It has been hard on you, but I am pretty sure that your wife would prefer things were different too. It seems like the neuro psych needs to look at some anti depression meds, because who wouldnāt be depressed after what happened.
I have been recovering for the last four and half years. While my memory last longer than your wifeās, I still forget stuff. As my wife says, itās hard to tell if its the aneurysm or age. I think aneurysm - she doesnāt like to just blame it on that. She needs to get the depression under control so that she can heal more. Once that is resolved, her attitude should change. Be patient.
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Yes i am sure my wife would want things different i do try to remember that. Thank you for your response. I just donā t know where else to turn for help. The doctors have not been helpful.
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Yes. My craniotomy was 14 months ago and I still have memory loss, mostly short term. Four months after my surgery, I went to a neuropsychologist and had a baseline four hour memory test which showed a significant decline (35%) in my short term memory. I was told to challenge my memory with learning a new skill like a language or learning to read music. I chose learning to read music. I was told that in a couple years I could expect a noticeable improvement. Itās been 11 months since my memory test and I am happy to report a small but noticeable improvement by myself and my husband. Itās mainly word retrieval where my brain āstammerā shows up and spelling.
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Iām a year out and I also still have terrible short term memory. It can get pretty aggravating at times. Iām just hoping it improves over time. Sending some light and positivity to you and your wife. This long road to recovery is just getting started.
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Youāre doing everything you can at this point. BH tells me that first two or three years was really hard on her. We both had to adjust to my different personality traits and my memory issues. When I went to the Neuro Psychologist for testing, he saw us both about 4 or 5 times together. He deduced BH had PTSD from my rupture whilst I did not. He was correct. BH contemplated going to see a therapist to help deal with what was traumatic for her. Being told for almost a month that your partner of 20 years may not make it to the next day was taxing to say the least. Perhaps you need to be able to vent to your own therapist. You can also go here The Roller Coaster - General Discussion - Caregiver Support BH told me I could share a post with you that will help you link with her and she can give her own story. Sheās āEDsGirlā. I never get on it as itās just a place for her to vent, I get to do that here. Hope that makes sense.
If you can get your wife to keep seeing the Neuro Psychologist, I think @BrianS is correct that she may need an antidepressant. Iām not a Psychiatrist but her Neuro Psychologist will have a colleague that is and can work with that Doctor to get something that will help. She will of course have to see the Psychiatrist about once every three months. Psychologists cannot prescribe medicine as you probably already know.
I always think about you and I really hope the best for both of youā¦
Thank you all for sharing i appreciate any suggestions. Today is a better day.
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Short term memory loss is still an issue after my 3 year anniversary (January 29th) of rupture & going into a coma. Hopefully your wifeās long term memory is still in tact as mine is.
Iāve learned coping mechanisms such as post it notes, making notes in my phone, an old fashioned calendar, leaving things visible/interior doors open etc. to remind myself what I was doing when I was interrupted or things I intend to do etc. etc. etcā¦
Hope this is of some assistance. It is VERY frustrating. Iām an accountant & I now canāt remember a string of more than 2 numbers. Thankfully Iām retired.
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Just to address āI donāt think my wife cares about anythingā. I didnāt have a rupture, just a bypass, but coming out of it. I had zero energy. None. I was like a baby. (but I didnāt argue). I just need to be taken care of. It was like the trauma on the brain causes something that depletes energy. Also, if we had had an emergency, I would not have been able to handle it. Meaning for example, if something had happened to our dog whom I love, I donāt know if I could have done anything. I would say, at this point, just give BIG LOVE. Do things without asking. Dishes/vacuuming/meal prep. Make it as home was before as much as possible but give hugs without being asked. I really believe that will help a lot. Iām telling you stuff I wish had been done when I was in that state. My family was physically there for me, but didnāt give me unsolicited hugs, or encouragement. They took me to appointments, but that didnāt āfill my bucketā with what I could have used emotionally. I hope this helps.
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Rupture in 2018. I still have problems with my short-term memory. It has gotten better. But if im tired or stressed. Its really bad.
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Hugs certainly increase our endorphins, no doubt about it. We have had a few emergencies with our dogs who were adopted a couple months after I ruptured. Our wonderful Vet of going on 30 years had to give me rules, the first was to call or text her before going to the ER Vet. It is not fun and it puts my brain into a very bad state of being. We took one to the ER Vet who promptly said there were no snakes out during the time of year our dog was bitten. The ER Vet treated her incorrectly and if it wasnāt for our Vet who had us bring her to the clinic when it was closed, we would have lost her. I took a picture of the baby black snake I found she had killed. Apparently dogs can have a reaction when bitten by black snakes, especially the babies, who knew? She also impaled her side and being the type of dog she is, and her thick coat, we didnāt know it for a couple of days. Our other dog, the one who is my avatar once impaled her chest whilst chasing a squirrel. It was very bad, but missed her heart and other vital organs by millimeters. To say I was a blubbering, stuttering idiot would be an understatement.
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Thank you all you have given me hope that her memory issues can improve in time. I do give hugs and encouragement and realize her Fatigue might be driving her apathy . I also fail at times when i am not even able to encourage my self.
Took us a while to figure out that our journey wasnāt a sprint and we needed to pace ourselves for the long haul. We give hugs multiple times a day. Iāve learned to give good hugs and not what we call Social Worker hugs lol.
I wonder if your wife is like me when I first ruptured, I had no emotions, none, nada, zilch. I knew I should respond a certain way but I was more akin to a robot. Took me a few years for my brain to heal enough to get them back.
No tears for me when we put our beloved Lab down, though BH and our Vet cried. I just said something like āWell, Troubleās dead nowā. When my Dad died, Mom was pissed off as all get out that I wouldnāt go to his body, nor did I cry. I adamantly refused. But for some reason it was important to me that I knew he left this world doing what he loved best, flirting with the ladies.
The following year when Mom died, the RN at Hospice said they had her cleaned up and we could come see her. I said no, Iād been with her all day, until she was brain dead and she didnāt need me to come now. We had a bit of trouble getting her remains to WFBH for the med students. I actually told our funeral director to just ākeep her on iceā until we could get it straightened out. His wife was aghast at my comment. They may speak like that with each other but not with families apparentlyš¤£. I spoke over BH when she placed the sixth or seventh call to the university and asked if they had a long line of cadavers waiting to get in or something like that. I had no emotion when a few months later, I had to give her Eulogy. Most of those three or four years, I was in the State of Confusion and extremely blunt. BH had to help me relearn to keep my words nice, it was difficult.
The apathy may just be that her neurotransmitters havenāt made the reconnection yet. I knew something wasnāt right but could only tell everyone I had āblack brainā. Madereās ( a Moderator here) husband gave me what others could not, it was thought processing. I wasnāt able to process any thoughts which really effects memory. It took me almost four years I think. I gained some of my emotions back shortly after I was able to visualize my first ābrain pictureā
The brain is a complicated organ. The talk about misfiring neurotransmitters is so real. Iām about seven years out from having my Annie clipped and even though my short term memory has improved I still experience difficulty with it. I canāt look at or hear a phone number and repeat it back. I also have difficulty introducing people I have known for years and see regularly. I know their names but it just doesnāt always come out on demand. I have started playing electronic card and puzzle type games and see much improvement. I also tried learning Spanish and would write the words down on flash cards and that helped too.
I have other difficulties due to the transmitters not being aligned the same but you learn to deal with it if you get encouragement. Hugs with a squeeze definitely help. Learning new or relearning old hobbies has also helped because if gives you something to strive for and it doesnāt matter how you do. Iām learning to sew and do some simple work with beads. Itās repetitive work (not so easy at first) but I have gotten better at it and even completing simple projects makes me feel good. I donāt need much of what I make (cloth napkins, placemats and Christmas stockings) so I just gift them to others and that brings back my joy. I write down step by step instructions and try to follow them not always with great success but itās okay.
Meeting new people that donāt know me also has helped because they donāt know how or what I use to could do. LOL Plus itās nice to make more friends.
I pray for you and your spouse and hope you find something that works well for you. Take care and be patient. It can work out.
Jj
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Iām coming up on seven years since my rupture, and my short term memory is still not as good as before, but it has become a little better over these seven years. So hang in there, improvement can and will keep on happening I believe
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I am a little over three years post surgery and I have had to change my way of doing things to remember. Lists, notes, reminders on my phone but it is getting better. There is hope.
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