Seven years and counting

Well I am seven years down the road and I still have issues. My short term memory (which I lost during my surgery) is still causing me issues - my husband and I spend 1/2 our time looking for stuff I can not find. My scar still aches and my balance is not great. But I am ALIVE!
We moved from West Texas when I had my aneurysm burst to Punta Gorda Florida. My brother and sister live here so it is great to have family around which I never had before. Have there been bumps in the road? YES!
But I still love living in Florida! My husband and myself are both retired and we just bought an RV so we can travel back to Texas to see the grandchild. Life is good but issues happen and I sometimes think my husband would be better off if I had not made it!

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Hey Octobersix,
It’s good to see you back.
My memory issues also still linger, I have required a few neurosurgeries and I believe each has had an impact both on my mental strength and memory. I try to laugh it off as an age thing, but the reality is that although age maybe a factor I know it’s not all age.

I too have had that ‘…they’d be better off without me…’ thought and even given my wife the opportunity to call it quits. I do feel that at times I’m the noose around her neck. But she’s has promptly set me straight. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was her in my position would I abandon her?? NO!!! So why (as she put it) would I think she wants to abandon me. I told her I didn’t think of it as abandonment but rather she didn’t sign up for ‘THIS’. Her response was 'No I didn’t, but I did (as I put it) ‘Sign up’ to you" And to me, that means a lot.

Yes, there a bumps in the road and some bumps have been mountains, but if we can get through all of that together, nothings gonna beat us.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team

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Hey Octobersix! You are a year ahead of me in recovery, good for you! Some things I do to keep track of stuff like wallet and glasses are to keep them in the same place all the time. It took me a bit to remember to do this, but it’s a mantra I use. One day, I may just put together a little cubby for holding what I don’t want to lose. Another thing I’ve learned to do is keep notes on my phone since I’m not allowed to go anywhere without it. Okay, so sometimes I’m oppositional and leave the phone in the house, but then I figure out I really need it. ROFLOL My 83 year old neighbor keeps telling me I’ve got better memory than she does…I’m about 25 years younger than she is…I’m glad y’all are going traveling, I personally love to travel for a short time. If I could take my dogs, I could be gone longer. It’s so good to hear from you, thanks for your update!

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Hello Octobersix: I am 5 years in I understand I also still have issues with short term memory I am always loosing something my scar bothers me also sometimes weird sensations there but I am also lucky to be alive. I a sure your husband would not be better off with out you!!! It is something we just have to live with my grandchildren help me get thru a lot, I have 2 years till I retire :):): take care Pat

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Thanks Pat. Luckily I was able to retire after my Annie. Sometimes I just hate when I have lost something again! It makes me feel so stupid - I tell myself “you just had it”.
Glad you survived!
I have 1 grandchild and she is my reason for trying to be better.

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Thanks for the kind words. My husband tells me the same all the time. It just makes me feel stupid when it happens and I have misplaced another thing.

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Hi Octobersix. I’m almost 5 years in. I have an angiogram for another coiled Annie in a few weeks. Not looking forward to that. Anyway, I too have the short term memory issues and balance issues. I have thought a few times “ I wonder why I survived?”. Everything you’ve said is normal. Your not alone. I think we all have the same emotions happening. Thanks for posting. I did enjoy knowing someone else has made it longer than I and is still trying.

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Was yours a ruptured? My husband shortterm memory is extremely bad. But over the past 6 years both long and short are better! Long term real long term is great but last 12 years not the best. Short term he works only because he is with his brother. The challenge weve been told as he has t1 diabetes. So the struggle is hard. Text helps a ton. But i am needing to go back to work and its just hard to find something that i can also be avail for our kids. As he can be. Here and there but not daily. How do you overcome the memory loss. I need to remind him meds, insulin 1/2 of day, mostly everything. Thank goodness for Texting. But we recently did a week of therapy laser, all sorts, down south and the kicker was its out of pocket. Cant go back anytime soon. So I am trying to figure out what there is around boston etc. he is so unhealthy only because his chlo is thru the roof, forgets to take insulin. But hes the most positive guy i know! I know it could be worse!! But what we gained down south was amazing! His interaction with kids, memory etc. he repeats himself and yes people get annoyed, so of course I just want to move away from some people. But i know in reality we cant! His health is my concern. If something happens to me he cant take them. My stress im sure is self inflicted but of course its my family and only a couple people actually will ever understand!

Hey Kellie,
‘How do you overcome the memory loss?’
I, on one hand, would say ‘it’s not a problem’. My wife, on the other hand, just looks at me and rolls her eyes. My memory loss hasn’t gotten better, but I try to put processes in place to remind me. Beside the phone is my diary and a pen. I have to write it down or POOF, it’s gone. The wife will ask me to do something, she leaves, and POOF it’s gone. I’ll get a phone call, hang up the phone and POOF it’s gone. I NEED to write it down as it happens. Take notes.

Depending on the type of phone your husband has there are phone alarms that can be set as reminders, with differing tunes for different types of reminders. There are also apps from the App Store both for android and iPhone. I would recommend using every resource available to you. There are a few different strategies that you could use to boost his independence and allow you some peace of mind.

Your stress is normal and understandable. We are all protective of our loved ones. I doubt any of us could nor would see that stress as self inflicted nor unwarranted. Sometimes I think my wife is a little over the top, but she’s saved my ….bacon on more than one occasion (Which she likes to remind me of :roll_eyes: ) But her stress is by no means self inflicted. She’s protecting a loved one and so are you. That’s normal.

You are doing OK. Don’t be doubting yourself. This is not an easy journey for anyone, it’s a BIG learning for all involved and it’s not like anybody ever plans for THIS. There is no manual, no book that says ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’. We all have to learn that everybody is individual in their wants/needs and how to get the best outcome for all involved.
We know this because we live it too.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team

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Even before my aneurysm I would make mistakes and criticize myself. There is a saying to ere is human so instead of putting myself down I now say “what a human being”. It breaks the negative cycle and brings humor to the situation.

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Make that err…

I’m 11 years out and still have memory problem it’s aggravating sometimes not remembering where I put things for safe keeping so I really try to put things where they go. But the worse of it is the daily headaches iv been to so many doctors and nothing helps. The meds was costing so much I told the last doctor I give up but he told me he’s not giving up and found a neurologist that specializes in headache first appointment available is July 1st so we shall see. Hang in there and don’t forget to laugh

Oh Octobersix. Please! Please! Do not ever think, say or write that again. Life is precious dear, Your life is precious…to me, to all of us here and I feel sure that your family would be devastated should they lose you. I wish you many more wonderful and blessed years. Perhaps I have taken your comment more seriously than you intended and if so, I apologize for my dramatic response. It’s just that so many of us, myself included, came so close…

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Hello,

Hoping you are feeling more positive by now. I recently had my five year checkup, which went well. Even though I still have short-term memory problems and balance trouble. The area where my scar is sometimes swells or is itchy. I still feel blessed! I’ve gotten to see my two sons very married and share precious time with my husband, who thinks he must take care of me all the time. We too recently got as camping trailer and are looking forward to traveling.

I use my disabilities to encourage others. I feel blessed to be a one percenter. Sharing your story can help give hope to others. May God give you strength and courage. Your story reminds me to do more and count my blessings. Thank you for sharing - best wishes to you.

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Hi Julie8,
So nice of you to respond. I do not go to the BAF very often but when I do it always makes me feel better.
October6

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Hello… for me it’s been 5 years and everyday I thank God for placing people in my life which saved my life. When I had my surgery the issues I had were sensitivity to light, headaches, and sometimes issues with pronunciation. But, I do brain exercises which includes word search, puzzles, and my favorite coloring. These activities really help me. I used to get down on myself, but when I think of the alternative of not being with my family and friends who support me 100%… I am so grateful. I still have a small annie on the right side, but I am trusting the Lord as He has me in His hands.

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Hi I am nine years out of a ruptured aneurysm and another they found another small one that they’re keeping an eye on. Also something new popped up on a recent angiogram I was so out of it I go in for my results with my husband here in Southwest Florida near you in PG on March 6. I to have those thoughts of my family would be better off without me. My migraines aren’t getting any better and yes the meds are outrageous in cost. I’m lucky to have found a support group as there is nothing in my area I’m young with an 11-year-old and Somedays don’t feel like getting out of bed as my headaches are debilitating but hey I’m alive and I’ve got a lot to live for. We ALL DO. WE MADE IT!!! Keep your spirits up remember God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. :pray:t3:

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I am so so happy that you are going to travel! I also understand your entire letter, I too have the same issues you do! It’s our life and I am also so happy we have one! Best wishes to you and your husband on the rest of your life!

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I am almost at my 9 year anniversary- right after my rupture, and I started getting back to my life, both my teenage daughters still lived at home. They were forever “borrowing” my clothes: blouses, socks, skirts. I would go into my closet and feel like I had lost my mind! One particular day, I just sat down in the floor and cried.
I knew I had done laundry and should have had clothes ready to wear to work, but clearly things were missing. I was tormented already, because I suffered with short-term memory loss.
During this week, my niece was hanging out at our house, which was probably adding to my stress level, (having extra company has been hard on me-that is another story) but when I got home from work that night, she had purchased a gift for me, it was a box full of post-it notes and colorful gel pens.
She told my daughters and myself, if they took something or moved something in a different room-leave me a post-it note… just a quick “I took it " with their initials. Also, she said “Auntie, for example, when you take your favorite book to the living room, jot down a post-it to say-” taking book to living room to read” Sure, it sounds like a lot, but I can tell you, I sat down and cried a second time that day, because someone not only heard what I had been complaining about, but understood I wasn’t coping.
To my family, I looked exactly the same, probably sounded like the “nagging” Mama, they were expecting to hear from, but to someone who didn’t live with us, it was apparent, I had changed and I needed a solution.
The great thing is, I have graduated to using my phone for notes, more often now, but I still use post-its at work and pen/paper by my bed. Many times, I get thoughts about tomorrow’s to-do list and by morning, I will not remember it, at all! So I jot it down.
By the way, I’ve had those same feelings many times and wondered if my family would be better off without me-but clearly they need me-if nothing else, for my great wardrobe…or fabulous notes all over the house. :crazy_face:

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Yes he does! Glad you recognize this and are willing to share.

Jj

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