I’m having a hard time with work. I either don’t care or I have terrible anxiety abd cry at everything. It’s exhausting. Today was like lemony snicket’s a series of unfortunate events.
I almost had to go home because ai was sobbing, but I pulled together.
I’m staying home tomorrow. I need to rest
Yep,
The easy days, ohh they’re easy to manage. No problem.
But a bad day, it often cascades. Not a single event, but one thing after another Ohh yea, I been there.
With massive highs and lows so low it’s like drowning, almost like manic/depression.
I had to find a happy medium. I had to identify within myself when I was heading too far in either direction BEFORE I got there. Identifying it after was too late, I need to read the pre-signs.
For me I have some funny/weird flashes of light and visual distortions. I get these odd tingles and strange bolts of sensation, sometimes its pain, sometimes intense pins’n’needles or a muscle jerk. These I can ignore, but by ignoring sometimes those pains/sensation increase in intensity and that’s a clear sign for me, I need to stop. Now, I say “…that’s a clear sign…” and I can say that now because I’ve learnt my pre-signs. But establishing what my signs were and how best to manage it all, that took a lot of trial/errors and a lot of time.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY It will tell you, but you have to listen. I didn’t listen.
I took what I call the ‘Caveman Mentality’ ie I man, I strong. I can push through anything. I’d had a few surgeries prior, so I thought I knew all about it. I’d recovered OK from those operations and this would be no different…
Only, this wasn’t just different, this neuro-recovery was a totally different ballgame altogether. My normal recovery tools didn’t work, in fact those previous recovery techniques only served to make things worse. GGGrrrrrrrr, I was annoyed, mainly with myself. (Obviously, ) I wasn’t trying hard enough, so I pushed that bit harder, that bit too much, doing myself a greater injury.
Can you identify your pre-signs?
Do you have management tools? ie Medications, a quiet space/timeout zone, relaxations techniques that work for you? Some people can find music and breathing techniques beneficial via a phone app, just to change the pace. A mini reset, if you like.
For me, it’s about management. Pain management, activity management, symptom management etc and it all needs to be managed around me. Not other people, around me. Others often have no clue what I’m trying to deal with, so I have to manage it all for me.
I hope the makes some sense.
Merl from the Modsupport Team
I have been going through this lately, I feel like my hearts going to explode and my eye twitches. I’m miserable. I started online therapy and I’m hoping it will work but I’ve been stopped 3 times in the last 2 days by people I work with asking how I am and say they can tell I’m just not myself. I don’t/ can’t cry but goodness I’m irritated and stressed out.
Therapy like healing takes time. Don’t forget to practice the things your therapist suggests. Many people think that working things out with a therapist is like getting a shot at the doctor’s office. It’s really more like PT or ST, you have to be committed to do the things they suggest and practice all the time. Deep breathing is a great start and I hope you either learn to do this or if you already know how, you practice all the time. Good luck!