Emotional roller coaster

I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. In the beginning, it was the "why me?", and then there was some anger, sadness, and anxiety. I made it through the surgery, so there was relief. However, now I am frustrated and sad. It really hit when I took my first shower at home. I started to wash my hair and I almost started crying. I know it is just hair, but touching my stitches and the shaved part of my head was overwhelming.

I have been setting small goals for myself everyday and trying to be patient, but let's face it, I am impatient. I go for my wound care checkup on Monday. I want to wash my hair like a normal person. I want to sleep like a normal person. I want to eat normally. Then I remember, my normal might be gone. How do you accept that? How do you move on?

Hi Terri,

So glad you made it through your surgery ok. I had my rupture on 11-2-12 and I still have not come to terms with the new me. I don't have a visible scar like you but have a few issues. You are alive!!! That truly is all that matters and that sometimes works for me getting out of the down moods. I hope this helps you a little. Knowing that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.


Hi Terri - glad your surgery is done and you are home.

To answer your questions of accepting and moving on - to put it bluntly what other choice do we have? In my case time has helped (just over 1 year post rupture). I still go through a bit of anger everyday and sadness when I am tired but everyday it is a tiny bit less and dare I say more happiness is creeping in : ) I realized yesterday that if I had to pick my life before rupture or how I am now, I would pick now. I have learned so much about myself - my strengths, my beliefs, my relationship with my family. I truly appreciate everyday now and the "little things" are wonderful. I know everyone is different but something good has come out of this for you - you just may have not discovered it yet. You take care and I promise things will get better..Mary

Hi Terri!~~its still early -please be patient- these things take time and many of the issues you mention will resolve themselves. Hang in there-I thnk writing here s a great way to start the healing process! I encourage you to stop by the chat room- people there are very supportive and nice! you can find chat pop out at the bottom marked main room or for full screen at the top - hover below "members" and a box marked chat will appear, it has helped me immensely-keeping things bottled up will not help~~ keeping you in thoughts and prayers!


Give yourself and your brain time to heal...it is a journey...and you will come to acceptance...remember everyday gets a little better...give yourself a break and get lots of rest...~ Colleen