I am slowly coming out of stages of denial that I suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm. As a 23 year old over active female the last place I thought I’d be is in the ICU in the hospital I work in after complaining of head pain 3 separate times to the ED department. Days after coming home from a trip to London I fell to the floor from agonizing head pain on 11/13/23. My mom assumed I was suffering from my first hormonal migraine. I hardly have head pain so there was no way to compare the pain I was feeling from a migraine. Despite feeling nauseas I slept the pain off that night. I spent the rest of the week with a constant dull headache with reoccurring sharp pain. As the week went on I noticed the sharp pain increments would shorten to every 6 hours. As I was working Thursday a nurse at my job informed me that the right side of my face looked heavier and advised that I go to the ED asap. Other nurses assured me my face was fine. I went to the ED after work to be sure, the doctor and I both assumed I had a headache from jet lag and gave me sleeping pills to break the headache. The following day I left work early due to heightened sensitivity to smells, light, stronger head pain, and feelings of nausea. I subconsciously didn’t think I was going to make it home so I called a friend to make sure I was okay as I drove home. I went straight to sleep around 7 PM. I woke up at 12 AM with terrible head pain. I took Norco and dreaded the next time the pain would come. At 5 AM I woke up again in pain vomiting, nauseas and extremely weak. I continued to vomit until the sharp pain increment passed. My mom drove to me to the ED where the doctor decided to run tests after convincing. He admitted later that he took me more seriously when he heard how I was speaking using medical terms. I was previously in nursing school. After running tests he was stunned to find blood in my brain. After calling neurologist they decided to send me home due to being stable x5 days with blood in my brain and was advised to follow up with a neurologist. I was driven home, went to sleep and the next morning at 9 AM tried as I was navigating the website to schedule a follow up with the neurologist the hospital called me back. They urged me to come back in claiming that they found more from the scans and that they wanted to run more tests. They also called in other doctors that were on their way to the hospital and that they would be waiting for me. At this point half of my face was swollen. My coworker recognized me as I walked in and immediately wheeled me back. They rushed me into CT scans - one doctor rushed in after the next to talk with me. Lastly, the radiologist said I was undergoing surgery, spend a week in the ICU, and be off of work for a while. Between jet lag, and an immense lack of sleep due to head pain this information was processed to a certain extent. The emergency surgery was thankfully successful.
While recovering im realizing that although I look better on the exterior, my interior seemingly will never be the same. The unexpected sharp pain behind my eye reminds me of when I’ll ever stop taking pills. The pulsating I can feel in my right groin that keeps me up at night moves me to wonder if I’ll ever truly be the same. There is a sense of emptiness inside of me and a false sense of reality about the world now. Being woken up every hour in the hospital prevented sleep that was needed to process this new life change. Starting at ground 0 is very humbling. Life still goes on without you. Although I don’t want to hold them accountable you notice which friends will show up for you at the hospital and which ones don’t. You also notice people that come out of the wood works to see you. How did everyone navigate these new life changes? I have a new set of values for life, of course, but these thoughts make me wonder.
. I hope you can get some relief from the pain, and I’m so glad to hear you’re getting support (and that you’ve received some clarity in who is really there for you.) Good luck and stay strong. 