@phoenix33 hugs to you too🤗
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No, no, no!!! I had a blister aneurysm. These are not normal aneurysms. They are very rare and very prone to regrowth. A saccular aneurysm is not this. I am so sorry I scared you. Please let me know the location of your aneurysm and whether it’s saccular (berry), fusiform etc.
I feel awful I have scared you. I have a connective tissue disorder and this is why I had a blister aneurysm.
Please breathe. I am so sorry I scared you. I promise you that what I have gone through is very rare!!! But I am alive. Please PM me if you want to talk.
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@JFenton i forgot to mention that after rupture i developed aphasia (loss of words) and a stutter. For some reason, I thought I had stuttered as a child and I had not. When I type, I don’t have either issue so much, especially no stutter LOL. I do the word for the day from Webster that comes on my email, I read books especially from the 1800’s to regain words lost and new words to try to remember I love the fact that I can highlight and look up a word on any electronic device I’m using. The tricks the Speech Therapists gave me for my stutter help enormously with the aphasia - take a breath before speaking, slow down, do a rhythm with hand, fingers or even feet to help keep a cadence. Think of it as moving to the beat of a favorite song.
Thanks so much for all the kind words
Moltroub
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Hi Jackie - Welcome to the group that no one wanted to be a member of. But fortunately, the group is here. I know that this process is traumatic. I am sorry that I can’t take time to read all the responses. While everyone’s recovery will be different, there are many similarities. The first year of recovery is terrible. If you are working with therapists, it will make it a little easier. One thing is that the therapist is tracking your progress. That is something that I found I wasn’t doing. In fact, I was looking only at what I wasn’t doing yet, while everyone, but especially the therapist, was looking at where I came from. Every once in a while, take time to recognize how much progress you’ve made.
Memory loss, especially short term, is likely something you will deal with for a long time, if not the rest of time. My Occupational Therapist really helped me with tools for that and for putting sentences together and skills to find the words I was searching for. If you’re not working with one, please ask your doctor for a script so that you can see one.
As far as anxiety is concerned, I hope that your doctor is providing you with some assurances that they are monitoring your situation and the fact that they are coiling another one in June means that they are on top of the situation. I can appreciate that it must be stressful waiting and honestly, I don’t understand why that remedy is scheduled so far out. But I have to believe that there are some good reasons. But if they haven’t given you the reasons, ask!
Keep faith and look for the positive side of things. I am so thankful to just be able to participate in this forum. God bless.
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@BrianS thank you for your advice. I am also so happy this group exists!! I will address these issues with my GP. No one is following my progress.I had to go to a different city for my surgeries. I feel there may be a huge lack of communication between physicians.
My neurosurgeon is not my neurologist as a matter of fact they never gave me a neurologist just a surgeon and my GP just keeps avoiding dealing with my brain 
if that makes sense.
I feel it is all due to covid etc here in Canada.
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@JFenton one of our wonderful ModSupport folks, Seenie, lives in Canada. I seem to remember a reply to another member about having to have your GP request a Neurologist for you. Canadian Health Care is so much different than ours. I understand it can take some time (months?) to get to see one. I had to ask my Neurosurgeon for a referral to a Neurologist as my then PCP was lost on what to do for me other than say I needed a Neurosurgeon where I live. It still took about 3-4 weeks for me to get in to see the first one.
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awww thank you for remembering me! I am empowered by that FF 8 yrs and still break up chores in fact got section 1 of headboard cleared out 3 more to go ughhhh lol Its still not easy thats why we are warriors or thats what they say!! lol Keep swimm’n You came a long way!! tc u are not alone! 
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exactly! my dr squirms in his seat, changes subject quick!!–lol
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Try to be patient. Also, try to love yourself how you are now. I still have memory issues and anxiety 8 years after surgery. My brain tires faster as well. I had to learn to accept that. I did that by alot of self care and realizing I may not be 
percent the same person, but I’m perfect how I am, but most of all I’m grateful I’m alive.
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Hello and welcome from another Canadian here. I also have only a neurosurgeon working with me. He has been great though since I ruptured 6 years ago he has followed up scheduling yearly MRI follow ups without any cues from me, I simply get an appointment reminder in the mail. The last MRI did find something that needed attention (surgery) and I have now also discovered that the RN who arranged all this for me is a great resource via email, she gets the answers to my questions from the neuro team she works for. Perhaps your surgeon has someone doing this for them as well, wish I realized this the first go round.
This site was an amazing find though, so much changes and it is really good to hear from others that yes it did and yes it may improve over time. This site also taught me that it really is a long recovery time and to be patient and to accept what is different about me for now realizing it may or may not be permanent but I still gotta live with it for however long that may be.
I also use my phone alarm and reminders a lot, organized all the cupboards and closets and have gotten pretty anal about everything being put right back where it belongs (so i can find it). I am set up for online grocery shopping and took the time to create a “favourites” with most everything we use, so it is much easier to browse and find what i need. So the little things like this have definitely helped make my everyday life feel a lot more normal.
Wish you all the best with your upcoming procedure, I feel pretty lucky as this one that I had 2 weeks ago does not seem to have set me back much at all, that was a concern for me. Hope yours has similar outcome in that regard.
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@ronk how could I ever forget you! Ok maybe my memory isn’t what it once was, but you my friend were a driving force when I first came on. The help you and some others gave me back years ago was the support and kindness I really needed when adapting to a life without employment and with all those exhausting headaches. I even remember telling you and the others about my first visualization since my rupture! It was the bottom of a horse’s leg LOL. You were the first to applaud me! The kindness and support you gave are deep in my heart.
Hugs my strong friend!
Moltroub
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wow i had no idea(r)!! It was you who empowered me! i recall we discussed our likes–woodcarving art, nature etc. Empowered is my favorite word now, i got it from my Guru friend at SC Center for Independant Living. I am being forced out of my home because C/G nephew just hit me with a 2x4----- hes going away to 5 yr college so there goes the c/g $$ from Medicaid then he tells me his tenant friend is moving out too to take care of her Mother w MS and Mom is needing Nursing Home Hospice! oops sorry i am off topic ranting, my apologies, lol i forgot the topic!! umm oh yes, recoiling fear,---- i get that loud and clear, try chair yoga w zen music and meditation, think back to your happy days, visualize the faces of loved ones, once you are recovered think how you can re-visit happy places, start small, a paper bag picnic walk or a porch visit etc, tc you are loved and you are worth a little tLC, tc
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Yes we did @ronk! You, Sherri (it may have been one r) and the member who’s name I’ve forgotten but she came to visit you and y’all posted a picture I recall, a couple of Mods and others were instrumental in my rehab. I even met some folks here up in DC! I will PM you about your move
Hugs
Moltroub
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Both of you are memorable in my journey and a big reason why I come back to respond to posts now, paying it forward 
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It’s great to be able to pay it forward isn’t it Ms. Kellie? You always remind me to think of the positives!
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I, too, had trouble getting my words out, and from time to time still do 11 years later. The fix, however, is not going to be withdrawing. I assume most of your inner circle will know your situation and will be more than happy to help you finish your sentences. My wife has been doing that long before my rupture. I know is scary at first, but most people will be more understanding than you imagine. Sure, I was embarrassed sometimes when I “got stuck” and couldn’t speak, but like anything, the more you try, the better you get; at least that is what I found.
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Hey @JFenton! Myself and as many here are just riding this roller coster ride that just never quite ends! 13 months in, I struggle when tired to get my thoughts out in a coherent way, still forget what I was gonna say next, but getting…uh, what??? …
just kidding…better!! 
I’ve learned to roll with it and improvements are noticeable if you look for them. I can go through a whole day with no headache, or not be confused for a day or two…the little things in our world are HUGE! Love the changes, admire your progress and keep in mind that you cannot be duplicated, the version you see in the mirror is what you make of it, only you can be the wonderful you…much love from Ottawa xo
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Hello J,
I read your post and it is normal to feel the way you do. I felt the same way that you are feeling now after I had my clipping surgery which was 2 years and a half ago. I didn’t want to see people but as mgm said I had my preferences who I wanted to be with. It is very important that you have a group of people to support you. My support group was my husband and my daughters. With them I felt free to express my fears, anxiety, cry and everything else associated with my new life.
The weather is nice now so use this opportunity to spend time outside as much as you can. It was November when I had my surgery but mid - December I walked more than 10 km in the cold weather…of couse with my daughter, not alone. As of your memory, I can say that mine is not perfect either but again we are not getting any younger. Spelling is not as great as it used to be, finding words is sometimes not that easy but am not worried about it, at least for now. I speak more than one language so the difficulty to find the right word right way might be a clash between languages??
My simple advice to everyone from a Nov.15th, 2018 ruptured brain aneurysm patient is be active as much as you can (if you feel anxious/ if your heart starts to beat fast go outside, go for a walk). Stay hydrated, eat and sleep well and communicate your needs to your support group. People are busy, tired so do not expect them to always ask you if you need anything. We have to let them know that we need them. You shouldn’t do this alone. All will be good! Keep in touch! 
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