Hi on March 8 2021 He was diagnosed with having a large aneurysm at the brain stem. As the days leading to angiogram he started losing feeling on his left side. He had the angiogram followed by some stents he became less alert but still followed command but lost all ability on his right. One thing after another he has had additional stents a trachea tube a feeding tube.
We are on day 21 and he has had a clipping of a ulcer of the stomach 2 pints of blood and is not responsive. This is a man who is 64 never smoke or drank. This is his first hospital stay. I’m so scared. We are married 35 years
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Wow @Dabairis1 you have been through a lot in a short time! We often forget how much our caregivers go through when we are laying in a hospital bed. I hope and pray you have some method of visiting him daily be it in person or FaceTime, Skype, etc. My Neurosurgeon shared in the beginning of our adventure after I ruptured that they really don’t know what causes an aneurysm and there are many, many theories, one I lean to is past head trauma simply because I’ve had a few doozies.
Realizing I welcomed you in another post, I want to say again welcome to our group. We have had many carers, a UK word I learned here, as members. I hope some will come and add to how they managed the stress. You must take some time for yourself each day to just enjoy the moment, read a book, enjoy some good music, work a puzzle, whatever you do as a hobby, take some time to do it. My BH didn’t have the time when I was in ICU. Worked all day, drive the hour or so to the hospital and back home all the while taking care of our aging dog and my parents. I believe she suffered more from PTSD as a result. Enjoying yourself, even for an hour or two will bring relief to your husband as you talk about it. Normalcy seemed to be important for me while I was in hospital. I would constantly worry that she was overdoing it.
I know my BH was told not to expect much, not even for me to wake up, much less know anyone. Luckily I did wake up and I knew my BH and a promise made that we would dance in the streets when we are 80. But BH was told everyday, that I might not make it through the day. Being a bit oppositional, the staff was constantly making calls so BH could tell me to do what they wanted me to do, like eat. One day, I got it into my head that I had to walk or I wouldn’t be able to ever again. I had back surgery the year prior where the choice was walk or not walk. When I stood up from the bed, I couldn’t remember what my feet were supposed to do. Apparently, I stood there crying quietly in frustration. BH had just come in and asked what I was doing, though the RN had asked several times. I said walk, but I can’t remember how. Well BH sang that song from the Christmas show “Put one foot in front of the other…” and soon I was walking, IV, RN and BH in tow. There was even one other patient who had not been responsive that started singing along and soon almost the entire ICU had joined in.
I’m not a believer in hope unfounded, but I am a believer that Love brings us Hope. I hope the best for you and your husband.
We are here for you,
Moltroub
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Thank you so much for your email I cried and smiled because like you we promised a party for all who cared for him. Like you there is one Dr a Debbie downer who never tries to give me hope. I am a faith God fearing woman and she nor no one take away my love and hope. He will walk out of here.
I sleep here daily today his brother is going to let me go home and sleep. I’m nervous bc I have not left his side I’m over 25 days. He is now on dialysis but he too will dance to the Christmas song like you did.
I am so happy if your better half wants to talk I’m here too. Unfortunately we had a aging dog which my BH loved and on week too he became too sick and he is no longer with us. So much in such little I also
Lost my mom on February 5th.
God Bless you 
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@Dabairis1 I’m glad you’re going home to rest. There is no rest in an ICU. I don’t think the doctors who were caring for me were incorrect or trying to not give hope. They just didn’t give false hope. I had vasospasms for 21 days. I had a Fischer Level 3 bleed which should have damaged a lot more than it did. They really didn’t know and that’s what they said. My surgeon refers to me as her miracle of miracles, which tells me she doesn’t know why I went against all the studies and survived. Having been an avid reader prior to rupture, I just tell her I didn’t read that book, sometimes I reply that God isn’t ready to answer all my questions, and sometimes that I haven’t finished what I am supposed to do. LOL
I don’t feel survivor’s guilt, and I don’t ask why I survived except in a scientific query sort of way. I still love to learn although it took many years to get back to it. My Neurosurgeon is patient with me and takes the time to help me learn. She is a wonderful teacher and will question me about things she taught prior at follow up appointments. We are a great match.
Ben’s Friends does have a Caregiver Support Group on FaceBook. I don’t have an FB account and suppose I never will. BH has been on it a time or two when needed but isn’t a constant on it. So other than knowing it’s offered, I can’t relay much more information. Perhaps it can help you.
Keep us up to date on how you and your husband are doing.
All the best,
Moltroub
Hi
My husband lost his battle yesterday at noon 
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I’m so sorry to hear that.
God bless and comfort you.
I’ve been reading about your husband and thinking of both of you.
Sending you love and prayers.
Natalie
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Iris, I am so sorry for your loss. Please know we are here for you and will continue to support you in any way we can. I have a saying I’ve used since my rupture, Death sucks, but only for the living. I will continue to hold you in my thoughts as you struggle with all this
Hugs,
Moltroub
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Hi Dabaris1,
I had aruptured anni (SAH), that bleed into my cerabellam and brain stem, when I was 57. I was in hospital for seven and a half months, but now nearly five years later I am able to lead a pretty normal life (apart from some balance issues and problems swollowing), I too had a trachea tube and feeding tube through my tummy. I didn’t smoke and was quite fit and healthy, even cycling and running which I was told helped in my recovery. Hang in there and trust the doctors and nurses.
The k you, unfortunately he lost the battle.
Thank you I want to continue to raise awareness every where I am able to in his honor 
Thank you I want to continue to raise awareness in his honor 🥲:two_hearts:
There are many ways to raise awareness @Dabairis1 and I think it’s a grand goal to strive for! In NYS, (I hope that is New York State)you have The Bee Foundation. They are two of the most wonderful women you can meet who started their foundation in honor of their cousin who also succumbed to a ruptured aneurysm. You can find more about them here https://www.thebeefoundation.org/. There is also The Lisa Foundation which Todd Crawford started in honor of his wife. You can find more information here https://lisafoundation.org/. I only met Mr. Todd once and he was still reeling from the passing of his wife. Never the less I found him to be a warm, compassionate man who like you, wanted to do something to honor his wife’s memory and raise awareness. I’m thinking either Foundation can help you with getting started.
If this seems more than you want to tackle, perhaps going under another foundation that’s already set up like the Helton’s have done for their daughter, Ellie, who passed. Ellie was only 15 years old. I love the Helton’s, I met Todd Helton on the same trip to D.C. on a lobby day. I met his wife on their first 5K. Each time we are able to meet it’s like visiting family you love and like. Here’s their story https://livelikeellie.wixsite.com/ourstory. They do a fantastic 5K, are very warm and inviting. They also give great hugs!
Besides the two Foundations already mentioned, there is of course the BAF and Joe Niekro Foundation both who try their hardest to also raise money for a brain aneurysm awareness. https://bafound.org/ and https://www.joeniekrofoundation.com/
You might also look into raising money for the hospital your husband was at and specify it goes to the Neurosurgery department perhaps. Just some unsolicited ideas, I apologize in advance if I’ve over stepped boundaries.
How ever you decide to do it, I know I’m very interested in all the steps one has to take, so I’m guessing others are as well. Please keep in touch and let us know how it goes.
Big hugs Ms. Iris!
Moltroub