I guess people join a forum like this because they have had an unfortunate trauma in their lives and I never imagined that I would be one of them, although in a different way than many others here.
I have already been partially introduced in an announcement about new members. Here we go…
Sheri and I were married for just over 25 years. She was the outgoing, loving, people person and I was the one who opened jars, squished spiders and was the curmudgeon of the our pair. She loved to go out to lunch to catch up on people’s lives and us doing that as a couple was very important to her. She had a lot of medical issues, especially this year, and was in increasing pain.
On Saturday, Sept. 2, we were at lunch at one of her favorite places and I had just gotten up to pay the bill. There was a sudden commotion and several people were rushing over to her. She was slumped over on her left side and I thought she was choking but there no obvious signs of that, but what else could it be? An allergic reaction to something?
Paramedics quickly came and hustled her to an emergency room. The doctor there said he was worried about bleeding in her brain based on her symptoms. But, what did that mean? Can’t you just fix it and we can go home so she can take a nap and we’ll continue on with our weekend?
She had her first CT scan and they said that they were going to insert a breathing tube and put a needle into her brain to drain the blood. I was told that the prognosis was poor. Oh, no!
The next meeting with the medical team included the words “end of life” issues. How did things get this serious so fast? Talk was brought up about surgery – coiling – but it was not done. Bugs me why that did not happen.
Once in the NCICU, and I was finally able to see her, she was wired up like the Space Shuttle. I talked to her on her right side and she seemed to respond; I also squeezed her right hand and got a little response. Just automatic nerve reactions or was her brain partially working? Her left side was completely unresponsive. Initially, we were told 21 days in the hospital and a long recovery in a nursing home.
Very early Sunday morning, she had some troubles with her blood pressure and breathing and we think that is when spirit departed. By 7:00 am Sunday, there was zero response from either side. A third CT scan showed blood in her brain stem and the doctors said she was effectively brain dead. At this point, there was a shell of a body kept going by machines and we had a difficult decision to make. We decided, as a family, that the most humane thing to do was to let nature take its course. At that time, the discussion about organ donation came up, which was very disturbing. That might not be appropriate for here and, maybe, I’ll discuss that appropriateness with the mods.
After her breathing tube was pulled and the machines turned off, her heart lasted another 15 minutes while I held her hand and grieved about my wife, who was way more than a wife. 28 hours ago, we were discussing mundane life things and now she is gone!
This is the most difficult time of my life but I have more than enough support from my family.
I see many people here have also suffered from a ruptured cerebral aneurysm and have survived. I am amazed and very happy that you did. I guess my Sheri was destined to be among the percentage who do not.
Thanks you for reading this long spiel. Take care of yourselves.