My mother had a aneurysm and we didn't know it

My mom was diagnosed a few days after she passed away. It was November 24 2013 . Me and my husband and son lived with my mom and I was pregnant with my second. nothing jumped out like out of the ordinary. She never complained of any pains or showed signs of anything abnormal. She did however last 6 months went to get a EKG because she felted the feeling of illness but didn’t know. She always said she would have a heart attack . I use to be upset when she talked like that. Little did we all know it wasn’t her heart. The night before we talked and argued over little things as we always do. She also had a cold for few days now coughing and sneezing so she was alittle more cranky then usual. That morning I jumped up out of bed something telling me to get up. But being sick I didn’t trust my instinct and went back to bed. Woke up 3 hours later. Even though we argue we usually wake up start talking like nothing happened . So first thing I usually do is see if she is home. I had my son in my arms we walked in her room, i seen her laying on the bed with her feet off the bed. To me seemed strange . So I put my son in his chair while I went to check on her. I noticed her skin was a differnt color and she looked awake. So I shook her . She was ice cold. I still was in shock and denial. I screamed my husband woke. He knew what I did not. She was gone. Even after the emt told me even after the funeral home came. I was so in denial. When I did research and to have a clear mind I read symptoms of when someone passes away what happens. Rigor Mortis ect. She was in mild stages. All the signs were there I just didn’t know . I had to be strong as I was pregnant . I tried but couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep . Her face like that was burned into my mind. It took me almost a full year to recover and time to time I still have that jumpy feeling. She is my mother but to find anyone like that really scares you. Somedays I have to not think of her just to get by. I am her only daughter but we had a relationship like best friends. We told eachother anything and it was always like that. My mom even knew when I was a teen and experimented with bad stuff. She was the person who got me. The thing that hurt the most was she had no symptoms . No signs . So there was no way I could of saved her . I did blame myself . I tried everything in my head. Maybe if I didn’t dleep in?
Maybe if we didn’t fight ? Maybe …she was only 43 years old. I was mad at the world. I didn’t understand . The examiner said she could of had weak vessel from birth. But still makes me wonder how she could do a EKG and none of us thought a CT? But now I want to honor her every year and praise her for the mother she was. She always made sure I was okay. Even after she passed.
The examiner said she had a 5mm rupture berry aneurysm left vertebral artery , with a dissfused subarachnoid hemorrhage … Her autopsy says she had a clean bill of health . It was just the anuersym that she had. I just wish I had the answered but maybe some people with some knowledge could please put some of my wondering mind to ease by answering some questions please? As the doctors was such in a rush to push me off the phone.
What does it mean dissfused ? Does it mean it was drained?
Did any of you have no symptoms but later found out you had a aneursym???
When you were in this pain, could you call for help??? As seeing I was just down the hall, I was wondering why she didn’t come to my door???
Any details on your experiences please??
Did anyone have the feeling of doom also???
How long was the recovery?
Did you have any mental thought ? Like knowing something was wrong ???
Also says here concentrated about the base of the brain and extending nearly to the Sagittal aspect of both cerebral hemispheres as well as throughout the cerbellum??? Does that mean it leaked completely ?
And also does it mean she leaked before it burst?
I am just searching for answers. Thank you

Danielle, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. 43 is much to young. Your story will have many grieving here. It is sad that sometimes there is just no warning before a aneurysm bursts.

Thank you . I just wish she had a warning . But maybe when it’s your time to go, it’s your time. As much as I miss her . She always told me her faith was in god. I see it as she is my guardian angel instead of my mother now.

Dear Danielle, you have to take it slow, you are still pregnant. I know this is a stressful time. To lose your mom is difficult, you are still grieving and will for a while. I don’t think it stops just gets better- “time heals.” My mom passed some years ago, and a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think of her. Some days are worse than others- then the water works starts. My mom had a stroke when I was 8 months pregnant. My siblings, and family tried to keep it from me. They thought I would go into labour, but I found out. I’m glad I did I was stronger than I thought, didn’t 't go into labour. She survived but wasn’t the same. Lived for 3 years after that and passed. Here I am survivor of a ruptured aneurysm 2 years ago. Going through some of the same health issues like her and I could hear her saying in my mind “be strong Kimlin.” One, of her words, I have used them here, on this site “be a warrior not a worrier.” I have a legacy to tell my kids who never really knew her as I did and my siblings. And so would you for your kids and their grandmother. You have to stopped blaming yourself, my mom had a stroke and I didn’t know it either. Worst of all, I had an aneurysm and I didn’t know it too. Courage and Faith Danielle my thoughts, and prayers are with your loved ones, and you. We survivors, at BAF are here for you. Keep on writing and expressing your feelings it’s good therapy.

I am so sorry about your loss. The percentage that I usually see is that 50% of brain aneurysms result in death. Your mother most likely was not leaking prior to the rupture, otherwise she probably would have had some pretty bad headaches. My surgeon told me that if my annie ruptured, it was likely that I would be dead by the time I hit the floor. Some of us on the site had symptoms prior to the diagnosis and others did not. Mine was found when my doctor was wanted an MRI to make sure I didn't have a small tumor next to my ear (my ear pain is associated with relapsing polychondritis) and a doctor at the hospital suggested an MRA instead of the MRI. The only symptom I had of an aneurysm was pulsative tinnitus, although I did not know at the time that this was indicative of a problem with a blood vessel or artery.

Your mother likely died very quickly, especially since she was still in bed. Some of your other questions, I can't answer since mine was fixed before rupture.

I can see that you are still having a very hard time over your mother's death. I also know that it does take a while when you lose a parent, especially when one is as young as your mother. You may never know all the answers. Have you considered therapy? It really does help and there are also bereavement groups. Good luck - I hope that you soon find some peace. I know it's hard.