“He says he forgets things very easily”. Although it is true that some of this can be “teenager” I don’t think that memory falls under that category. I have a problem with memory since treatment of my aneurysms. It is just from my own experience that I make this comment. I also raised three teenagers. I just think that some of this, if not most of this, can be brain injury. I really do appreciate your input Craig because some of these issues could fall under the category of teenager but I just don’t believe that memory loss does. This is one of the best things about this community that we can discuss what we think and learn from others. Thank you.
Brenda, yesterday I was listening to NPR (KERA in Dallas) and they were talking about brain development in teenagers. I didn’t know that a child’s brain finished developing about age 25. They commented (and laughed) about parents saying a teenager’s decision making is half-baked. Turns out it’s true! But, and it’s a big but, in your case the annie makes everything harder. I’m thinking he does need extra techniques like the day planner. Maybe a phone (kids like those gadgets, dontchaknow) that sends reminder beeps. How about making a list of rewards that can be given when he acts responsibly. I know, I know. The money from the job should be enough; however, according to the folks on the radio show, nurturing and guidance are needed throughout this developmental period which they now know ends about age 25, not at the end of high school. Maybe you can locate the podcast. It was an interview with a speaker that was scheduled for the Brain Foundation (that’s a research group here in Dallas). Very helpful insights!
Robin,
You are cherished for providing this info for Brenda...I could only give a basic..."the brain is not fully developed /fulfilled at 13..."
Thank you so much; even for those of us "adults"...who have major changes when a part of our brain tissues are gone, etc...I will try to find this site myself...
Pat
Craig,
Thank you for providing all this thought...we were all teenagers at one time and know so many more behind us...
When a child, the very few of them...who have an aneurysm, or other brain damage / loss, the parents do not really know what may have been normal teenage activity with normal development... (yes, a lot of parents would prefer not to!!!)
I am more than delighted with the info Robin provided...and many others.
Pat
Brenda...
have been thinking of you and Colby...
Pat
Thanks so much to all of you for your thoughts and prayers.
I have raised three other children and all three have had their teenage problems. I do believe that some of this is teenage "half-baked" thinking but most of it is not. All three of my children were different and Colby is no exception.
We received the results to his neuropsych testing yesterday and the problems he is having are complicated by the fact that he has many bipolar characteristics. She would not say if she believes that he is bipolar. (He was seeing a doctor for these types of characteristics before the aneurysm) We are scheduled for counseling with another psychologist that specializes in meds and family counseling next week. She will be helping him with some of the areas that he needs growth. The testing explained him in detail! It was very eye opening for him (at least at the time). He said that he thought that we were just picking on him and expecting him to be perfect but that now that the testing revealed that, it must be true. Guess what...today he does not see this....back to irrational thinking.
Please continue to pray for me. He is extremely difficult to live with. One day he is very logical and is sweet and considerate and the next day (or in some cases later in the day) he is a nightmare to live with. If he is in one of his "moods", he is verbally abusive, will not take ANY responsibility, will not comply with ANY rules, etc. He was on meds but has refused to take them since he graduated from high school. I am trying to get him some help but I am on the verge of not surviving myself.
Thanks again for your prayers and concerns.
Brenda
Brenda,
Thank you so much for getting back; keep thinking of you...
I hope you get Colby's records on his aneurysm...its artery location, size, etc...to provide to the psychologist and/or neurologist so they will know if it, or the access to it, was anatomical (correct word?) to bipolar....
I think a lot of this because diff portions of the temporal lobe are where parkinson's is located, another w/ MS, short-term memory, learning memory, etc...
www.waiting.com/brainfunction.html is an easy to read site on symptoms; if I have put that in wrong, just put in the name of the lobe in search , then find waiting.com...This one is so easy to read on basics of signs / symptoms...there are other sites, too.
Prayers to you.
Pat
Good Morning Brenda.
Thanks so much for getting back to us regarding Colby. I agree with Pat on getting Colby's hospital records regarding his aneurysm, it location, etc. The good news is that if indeed this is a form of bipolar then once you find the proper meds Colby will do well. If you were dealing with only brain injury I am not sure how much could be done. Please always remember that Colby's behavior is not intentional. If you and Colby are having a bad day, and you find yourself unable to cope try to separate yourself from the situation so that you can remain in control. Brenda this is not medical advice. It is just something you might like to try to help you cope. If it works great and if not you don't have to do it. It is just something that I do sometimes and it not only helps me to remain in control but also to see the situation more clearly from both sides. Please keep us updated. I am not sure how you feel about prayers but I would like to add Colby's name to our prayer group if that's okay with you. Take care.
Brenda...
I keep thinking of you and Colby...haunted by? I must be the psuedogramma....I know what I have gone thru and cannot imagine putting that back thru to my 13 years....when I was overwhelmed having a tiny pimple on perfect skin....I cannot imagine what a massive pimple on my brain would have been like... Because I do know what it has been like to have more wrinkles on my brain than my skin...I am overwhelmed...and, overwhelmed that a highly qualified pediatrician and the highly qualified neuro-whatevers did not address with you all...NO, I am not a degreed, nor licensed md...I am a survivor...and can only imagine the impact on a 13 year old and the parents...whose mds did not explain what to expect / anticipate and which therapies to go thru to help you all...
Please accept my apologies if my hang-up on this has been a hangup to you...it is not my intent...I am just overwhelmed for you all....Yes, I was a child...and, worse...the baby of the family...pampered by mom and often teased by my big sisters...decades before I ever had an aneurysm rupture!
I was a hyperactive child...mom never spanked/disciplined me...she would hold me, walk me, rock me... change subjects and games/activities... One reason I am saying this part is to ask if Colby had what appeared hyperactivity....Because as a young adult to much older...I have never been hypertensive ( a common term used around aneurysms) ...that term often used for high BP ...which I have never had and still do not have... and, remember I am the pseudo gramma...
Brenda, I do not mean to nag at you...there is so little info provided to us...for what I suspect is available...and just not provided...We hear how complex our brain cells are..and the gov agencies spend more time, quality expertise, and funding research on how to land on the moon or Mars than on the arterial tracts in our brains...
My prayers are wrapped around you...and, I beg your forgiveness for my ranting... I cannot put you and Colby out of my thoughts....and, usually my thoughts are gone in 5 minutes...
Pat
Pat,
I really do appreciate your concerns and prayers. I do not want to be a burden to you. Colby is doing better at the moment. We have an appointment with with the counselor on Wednesday and I am looking forward to that appointment and I am hoping and praying that they will be able to help. We did ask the Doctors what to expect and we were told that they did not know. They said that there were so few aneursyms in children that there was not much information on the affects. I will continue to research and look for help for him if necessary.
Thanks again for your prayers.
Brenda
Donna,
Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. I would absolutely love to have Colby's name on your prayer list. I do believe that prayer and God's will saved his life. I feel the same way you do about the Bipolar. Although unfortunate, there are meds that can help him if he will take them and stay on them. We have an appointment on Wednesay with the counselor/psychologist that specializes in meds and hopefully he will be able to help. I will let you know how the appointment goes.
Thanks,
Brenda
Brenda, Good luck to you and Colby on Wednesday, my prayers are with all of you. It is obvious you are a caring and loving Mom and want what it is best for your son. There is a site you may have seen, but it has some good info and links that may help. It’s www.themissyproject.org Keep us posted and take care. Kim
Brenda...thank you for being tolerant of me...I have been overwhelmed thinking of both you and Colby ...and, all your family related... that you were not given guidance ...My personal opinion...That mds do not have a lot of info on children with aneurysms; however, logic is that brain injury is brain injury! Or, other body development as a child... it is so visual if a leg, ankle or arm is broken... and, the size may be affected (minor, overall) ...but is visual. Overall, even of us adults...brain injury is brain injury...
Brenda, my prayers are for you all... Have you addressed any potential for what used to be called military draft? I no longer have a clue as to age; i.e. 18 or 21...or if draft is still an issue.
For someone I know well...broken leg (sports in high school) was rated a 4-10 not 4-F...During Viet Nam...ratings less than 4 F were lifted...and those drafted... I am totally blanked out on how any of this rating /age relates...or if yet exists... Please again, accept my apologies for not being able to explain better to you...
There is so much for us all to think thru...I can only imagine being the parents...on top of everything they are expected to do and which they cherish in achieving... the results of normal parenting...
Hugs and blessings to you all... please keep us informed... I am so glad you have your upcoming appointment w/Colby's counselor...
Pat
I have followed this tread with interest. Perhaps I am miss-reading something or missed a post(s) entirely. I apologise in advance if this is in fact what has happened.
I am totally lost in Pat's latest post where it starts refering to "military draft". I am not a U.S. citizen but I am reasoanably sure there has not been a draft in decades. I'm unclear what it has to do with the thread. Perhaps you could be good enough to explain this further. Please do not feel obligated, I'm merely confused and curious.
Regards
Craig...sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you...
Sometimes my brainwaves of memory cross-over...(apashasia, cognition, memory); I do attempt to proof/edit; may fail at that...
My intent began with...1) that a 13 year old brain is not any more fully developed/grown than the body (a known teenager's bone)... 2) jogged my thought on advanced responsibilities from childhood to adulthood...the old draft popped into memory...my typing was faster than my memory advanced on our history changes...
Craig...please let me know if my explanation does/ does not make sense... on 1) and 2).... thank you for reminding me to better proof/edit... because that is all a part of my recovery. AND, remember, my personal opinions are non-degreed, non-licensed...
Brenda...I hope you read this, too...and, accept my apologies for any confusion I generated...
Pat
Hey Pat
No need to apologise!
Regards
Craig...
I did ask if my edited explanation made sense... please let me know if I had any success...
Pat
No need to apologize. I was not confused. I think I got the intention you were trying to give. Colby has briefly checked into the military but he has only one full functioning kidney along with the ordeal with the annie so he does not think he would be able to get in and he is really not wanting to go the military route anyway.
I do really appreciate your input and caring. It has really helped me to be able to have some support.
Counseling is going well. Colby is working about 36 hours a week and is doing well at the moment.
Hope you are doing well.
Brenda
Brenda,
Thank you...when my brain waves rush/cross-over they can get hooked in the wrong places...
I hope Colby does not go, attempt to go, the military route w/kidney limitation and annie...How long has he had the kidney issue?
Backing off/limiting my stories... I have some long-term friends from grade school on... At reunions, I got re-acquainted w/other classmates... told, at times, I talk/write as I did in JR High...the 12-15 year age bracket...so please tuck that away for later... the age bracket... my initial neuropsych testing reflect reading from 4-14 yars..
Glad Colby is going to counseling...so hope he has had f/up brain scan (of some kind) and neuro-psych testing w/results covered re: potential therapies a/w/a (prior to?) counseling...
Please...once more...recognize these are my personal, non-degreed, non-licensed, non-professional opinions...
More than delighted Colby is working...I pray he and his employer have a comfortable, caring, open connection.
Pat
I dont think you being too hard on him. I am shure his life changed with the rupture, but his youth and the fact that he is able to work is a blessing from god. And the fact that he has a second chance on life is a chance too do somthing great. but sounds like you have your hands full, and much of it is probably due to being a teen. So just try not to make threats that you are not prepared to follow thru with and love him, tough and soft, you both are going to be fine and I will keep you in my prayers, have raised three girls and teens can be nerveracking.