Thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Yesterday I was just numb emotionally and mentally. I realize that I am in the position now as I was over 15 years ago. I don’t have anything to offer my children, I feel like damaged goods with all the scars I have from surgeries and inside I just feel worn out! I woke today with a major headache, but I know its my blood pressure. I am tired of being on the receiving end of threats, insults, mean words one day then nice the next. I’ve endured for so long with him that I feel like this is what I deserve and he is the only one who want to be with me. I don’t want to be with him, broken promises, and memental and physical abuse I just can’t take it. I want to just not be around sometimes, but I look at my london and I stay! Sorry for burdening you with my madness. How much can you cry without having a nervous breakdown. I’m sorry…
You can cry a very long time before you have a nervous breakdown I'm afriad. I know there have been many times that I have said throughout the years, "why can't I just have that nervous breakdown that I deserve"?? You are a strong person, you are NOT damaged goods. You are a loving and devoted mother and you have so much to live for. Abuse from a spouse, boyfriend whatever...NOT acceptable. If this is indeed what you are going through, my only advice to you is get out and not just for your own sanity and safety but you have the responsibility to be a strong role model for your children. Please, if not for yourself, for their sakes, don't stay in this place that you find yourself in now. Remember, what the children are learning is seldom what you think you are teaching them.
Hugs (((()))))
Tina
I think the flow of tears is supposd to help release tension...
If the mental and physical abuse has been there a long time, you are past due leaving or throwing him out... again, can you get thru to a psychologist or counselor? Call your MD and get a referral if needed for your insurance coverage. Some of your actions, reactions, thoughts, your ability to make your decisions may be related to your recovery process...you are not feeling strong enough to make your decisions.
When you say you do not want to be around, but you stay...confuses me because I thought you meant he was leaving...and, I assume you would be at home with the kids..
As for being with someone...gear in on your children, family, close friends and your minister / priest...
As for feeling worn out...many of us in recovery have been there to some extent over various reasons/causes.
Please promise you will call your md and get referral to counseling at some level... i.e. neurologist, psychologist, counselor, or whatever title. Please do not just go on anti-ds...see a professional for the help that is needed...I still think god designed us w/tears for tension release...
Blessings to you...
DONT GIVE UP…YOUR BABIES NEED YOU…DO NOT LET HIM FORCE YOU TO THROW IN THE TOWEL,WE MOTHERS ARE THE BACKBONE FOR OUR FAMILIES, EVEN IF ITS A FAMILY WITH YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL KIDDOS…YOU HAVE TO FIGHT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR YOU,HUNTER AND LONDON…SO MAKE IT HAPPEN…DONT LET THE DEVIL CONTROL YOUR DESTINY AND HAPPINESS,YOU SURVIVED AND MUST KEEP GOING…LOVE AND PRAYERS COMING YOUR WAY FOR HEALING AND STRENGTH…STAY STRONG AND TELL YOUR HUBBY TO TAKE A LONG WALK ON A SHORT PLANK…LOL…IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE IN THIS SITUATION ANYMORE…GET OUT…BUT DONT STAY N SUBMIT YOURSELF N KIDS TO WHAT THEIR GOING TO THINK IS THE NORM…YOU CAN DO IT…PRAYERS GOING UP FOR YOU HUNNY…
you should never feel like a burden sweetheart… this is here for support whether you just need to say something to get it off your chest or whether you have questions… You’re not the only one going through this i’m sure and it helps others to see what everyone’s going through… You’re not alone, and if the abuse is mental and physical you really should seek help just to get out of that situation alone… mental abuse is hard enough without having health issues on top of it all… physical abuse is never ok either… but mental really drains the life out of someone and it is so hard to tell people about it because there is no proof that it happens… Sweetheart if your kids are seeing you go through this it will make them think that it’s ok for a man to treat a woman that way and it’s not… so give those babies a good example and let him go his own way you’re strong enough to make it this far in life you can keep going without him and you do not deserve anything that he does to you… you deserve to be happy and trust me you will find someone else that will make you happy… or you will just be happier on your own too you never know until you try that… love yourself take care of yourself and your babies… talk to us when you need support but find someone local to talk to too it really will help…
Please seek assistance from a shelter (we have a Women’s Aid In Crisis /WAIC) for assistance if needed-this is not good for your health or for the children’s well-being to view abusive circumstances. Do this for you and your children. Good luck and let us know how everything goes-a shelter will offer you support, too.
Thank you for bringing this up…there is a shelter where I make donations and I did not have mentality to donate this information…You are a doll…