My life is slowly dissolving around me. I am sad, depressed, going to lose my family, as husband wants out of our marriage! I was laid off and still looking for a job and its been very stressful. As a woman, you always want to be wanted, loved and respected, but if you have someone that constantly insults you, puts you down, says that you are nothing, even after almost losing your life and your hair, there is no way you can feel good inside! I am trying to cope, but I just feel that all my fight and struggle for family means nothing and that my life means nothing! I don’t want to be hurt anymore and I don’t need to be here. All I’ve done is hurt. I just feel hopeless and nothing will change. When someone tells you that you are not marriage material and you don’t know how to be a wife and you don’t have anything, that’s the nail in the coffin for me.
Go to your phone book and call Hotline…for “suicide prevention”…get help…this is not good…please please get help…You are so worth it…those children need their mom…not sure what else to say…will say a few prayers right now…that you get help…Cyber ~ prayers…Colleen
Sweetie,
Children are the most important people in our lives and we as MOM's are the most important people in theirs. Not taking anything away from father's here.
You are worth more then you realize and life is sooooo much worth it. I learned this the hard way. You have survived this you can survive anything..Believe in yourself and your kids. Get help to talk through all this with someone. Please!
*hugs*
Kimberley
you are worth it ,you can make it .i know it hurts but you beat death you can do anything,please just cry, get it out and take a deep breath and say im ready to do this i dont need anyone.you are so cute and have so much going for you its his lost.im proud of you your young but have alot on the ball .you can do it .when the going gets tuff the tuff gets going.god bless you girl linda
Jim is so right- please seek support, if you cannot go anywhere, just like this site there is support (MDJunction, being one) for this situation. And we are here to listen. Your children need you and you are the person they look up to-so for them and yourself be loved. Life does not come with a manual, and fairytale material makes for to high expectations-we are all human and we are not perfect. For employment have you tried Job Services? Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are, because we do care on here or we would not take the time to respond.
Please write again so that we know you are okay. You’re strong - you must try your hardest right now to dig down and TRUST that you will not keep feeling this way. I know it’s hard. One step at a time - one second at a time. Take a second and write, please. We need to know you are okay - you have a group of caring people here.
Avis,
Please know your life is not dissolving around you...because another door is being opened.
Have you two considered counseling before any final decisions are made? Even if he does not want to, will you please secure it for yourself and include your children? Yes, they go through a lot of stress, too, and often need extra support. What about your minister/priest? Your family, a close friend?
I am not protecting your husband...spouses, wife or husband, have their lives change, dramatically, too. It depends on the strength, the courage, the commitment, of each individual. Your husband may need time to heal his own emotional loss / stress whether he returns to you or not... he is still the father of your children.
Avis, your picture is adorably beautiful and warm/friendly. You have a strong commitment to your children, your family and your God... all the rest follows...Avis, your openness to come here and share your pain, your fear of another change, on top of all the changes you have been through, reflects your strength.
Hugs and prayers to you,
Pat
Your worth as a person is not in whether you’re married or not, whether you’re working at a job or not, your worth as a person is in the life you live and even though you’ve had so many struggles if you keep going, keep raising those beautiful babies, just keep going. I have to admit I am on the caregiver end of my situation, and as hard as it is I cannot give up I cannot give in, while he was in the hospital all I could do was cry and at times I thought I could just go away he won’t even know (at that time he couldn’t even tell me who I was). He is in the very early stages of recovery he was just admitted into a rehabilitation hospital today, this was the first day that he really realized that he is not going to be the same as he was before. I saw the worst look in his eyes, he told me he was dying. I told him he cannot. You, him, and everyone who has already survived so much you just cannot give up, there is a reason you are still here, whether it feels good or not you are here don’t give up, get support, make sure you have support other than your husband who is the weak one not you. It is hard being a caregiver, does he take time to take care of himself too? He is just giving you an excuse saying it is you because he may not want to admit how hard it is for him. Please get support for you and him, that might change his attitude, and please let us know that you are ok.
Heidi, you said this so beautifully...thank you for sharing your strength, and your understanding of the emotional and physical trauma on the caregivers...
Thank you… It is hard on both sides of the story for different reasons… as the survivor there is so much to deal with emotionally and physically you have to focus on what you’re going to do to get yourself recovered… as the caregiver most of the struggle is emotional which if we don’t stop to take care of ourselves too as the caregivers it could turn to us being upset at the survivor for “putting us through this” or for “not being who you were” I’m struggling so hard with this that is why i’ve tried so hard to learn all I can about this from both sides… To see what a survivor has gone through has helped me a lot to understand what my boyfriend is going through it kills me to see that this sweet girl who has had to survive this is now being treated as if it were her fault… It’s not really anyone’s fault, but we all have to be strong and have support in order to get through this life together… my question is… did he take the vows “in sickness and in health” if so he needs to realize this and try to cope with his own feelings of what’s going on and what can change to make the situation better… This is hard on everyone that it happens to I just keep telling myself I feel so blessed that he is one of the survivors of this injury and we can make it through this together… I do need just as much help and support myself as much as he does so it takes more than just two people to get through this…