So for the last weeks I’ve known about my anyrisum. I’ve been positive and calm and like nothing was really all that wrong. Yesterday I think it finally hit me. I’ve been 2 seconds from tears for 2 days now. Not even over anything in particular. Worried, scared, emotional, it’s alot to trust in others. Once I go in for that Surgury, I’m basicly helpless in all I take care of every day. I have two kids, live alone, pets, support my own household, I manage a restaurant… My family all lives out of town. My boyfriend who I’ve only been dating for about 6 months is moving in to help me out. We had talked about moving in together, this just speed it up a Lil. But it’s alot to put on a new relationship. Not at all how I imagined our new start together to be. I think this waiting for the surgury now is the hardest part. Idk how to handle a whole month of this emotional Rollercoaster… Everyone tries so hard to be supportive but Im so scared…
I sure do feel for you! Put all your trust in God, He will see you through everything! It’s okay to be scared and the waiting is awful! You are doing great, you’ve found support, you’ve researched everything and probably know more about brain aneurysms than you ever wanted to!! You sound like a very strong and smart woman! I know what you mean about it all hitting you! As you know, everything is such a whirlwind of information you don’t understand, appointments, tests, different doctors, etc. For me the totality of everything I’d been through didn’t hit me till two weeks post-op when my hair fell out! Since your having a clipping I’m pretty sure you won’t have to experience that!
Stay positive, you will come through this just like you’ve come through every other challenge!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ~Philippians 4:13
Kaitlyn
I remember before my surgery some of my staff sent me an email to tell me they were going to church. I thanked them for praying for me and they said "Oh Miss Carol, we are not praying for you this time, we're praying for your neurosurgeon." I thought that was the most wonderful and real thing that happened to me during my waiting time. How true. Put your trust in your NS and all with be good. Every situation is different but you seem secure and your annie is smaller and I have total faith that you will be on here afterwards sharing your experiences with others and holding someone else's hand.
Carol
Hi kaitlyn, I totally know how you feel. I found out I had a 5mm aneurysm on 2/15 and surgery wasn’t until 2/24/16. The idea of waiting was nerve racking. Once I got into the hospital I felt a little relieved, but then the day of surgery I had to put my trust in God. I’m not sure what kind of surgery you’re having, clipping or coiling. I had Coiling done with stents. Recovery is a task but is doable. Good luck and be well. We will be here for you!!
Kaitlyn,
I can absolutely relate to this feeling. I had to wait 5 months after deciding to do the clipping before my surgery. I had not known about this site or a local support group in my waiting period and I wish more than anything that I was able to get this support leading up to it. I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety, not sleeping or eating for months. One of the best things I did was stop researching and give my faith in trust in my neurosurgeon and his team. At some point or another I had to accept that this was real and it was happening. I got through all of why me’s and put on my brave face to push through it all. The best thing you can do is have trust in your surgeon and more importantly in yourself that you will get through this. The recovery is not easy, but staying strong and pushing yourself will be so helpful.
Keep staying strong and it will all be put behind you soon!
Hi Kaitlyn. I found out I had an aneurysm in Aug 2014. I had just had my son in dec 2013. Once they did a cat scan they found out my aneurysm was 11mm at the largest point. My 5 hour surgery ended up lasting 7 and a half. I was in the hospital ready to go and my surgeon came in my room and told me the scope he uses to see in my head had a broken light and sent me home til the next day and I went to another hospital. It is terrifying and there’s not much anyone can say to make you feel at ease. My advice is let people help if they offer. It takes a toll on your body especially with kids. My trouble was trying to figure out the whys…why me, why did God keep me here, and the what ifs. I came to the realization no one knew how I felt or what I was even trying to say. This site has helped me a ton and there are many caring people who have gone the same thing. Talk to us if needed…we’re here. Keep your head up and keep the faith. I was told after my surgery my body wouldnt handle another pregnancy and low and behold I’m now 4 months pregnant and crazy thing about it is my due date is Sept 18 which was the same day my surgery was on in 2014…God does crazy things and he will be holding your hand thru it all. If you need to ever talk get ahold of me and I’ll be a listening ear. I just wish j knew of this site before my surgery instead of finding it 3 months ago. Keep us updated when u have the strength! I’ll b praying and thinking bout you.
I had 16 day waiting time … It is a hard time for sure… Told my 6 year old the day before what was about to happen… That was the worst! I get teary just remembering that day which was just 2 years ago… But have faith in your surgery team and if all is smooth… In 3 weeks time you will have a pep in your step!
Good Luck and praying for you!
Hi Kaitlyn,
I had a 9mm unruptured aneurysm clipped in March of 2014, six weeks after the diagnosis. Waiting was nerve-wracking, and i gave up yoga at that time which was my primary exercise and helped me stay calm and centered. Still, hanging upside down didn't seem like a good idea at the time. I was taking and still take Paxil 10mg daily for anxiety. I'm sure that helped me a lot. Perhaps your doctor can prescribe something for your stress. It's a lot to deal with. My husband researched the procedure, but I refused to let him discuss it with me. I felt that the information would increase my anxiety. I trusted my neurosurgeon and his team.
My recovery was really easy compared to what I had expected. The biggest issue was double vision. I tolerated it for two weeks. Then I forced myself to watch TV all day with both eyes open. By the end of the day, it was pretty much resolved. I slept a lot more than normal after the surgery. Apparently, the bone takes a long time to heal, and you need to rest. It sounds like you have a busy household and a busy life. Please try to find the time that you need to heal. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your friends will understand.
Kaitlyn, I wish you all the best and hope that i have helped ease your fears.
Linda
I understand your fears. We started with the wait and see approach with my basilar aneurysm and so I lived with it for a year until my neurosurgeon decided it was too dangerous to leave alone. It was scary the couple days before the surgery but I was so relieved after. Turns out it had a weak spot that he said would probably have ruptured in a year or two so very thankful it was repaired. I had coiling with a stent. Recovery for the most part was pretty easy but I stil do have some residual effects as my brain continues to heal. A much better outcome than if it had ruptured. Keep yourself busy with your kids, take care of yourself and it will be taken care of in no time.
Hi Kaitlyn,
You have every right to feel scared and afraid. In my opinion it is healthy to acknowledge that. I don't know what is worse, having to wait to have surgery, or having a brain aneurysm burst, which in my case is what happened and I found myself in ICU. I had no time to think about it! That was 25 years ago, and I thankfully have a normal life with an aneurysm clip. Whether you believe or not, you have a power greater than yourself which will not give you more than you can handle. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Kaitlyn, It is totally normal to be worried/scared/emotional before a surgery. You'll be fine, keep a Positive attitude - it will help you in recovery. Good luck, let us know how it went !
Kaitlyn,
I join all the others in offering you all the support in the universe as you move through this. It IS scary -- beyond scary, actually -- but you have a strength and power within you, as well as outside of you, to help get you through this. All of us here are part of your team. Let us know when your surgery is and we can rev up the thoughts, prayers, and whatever else you need to support you from here.
It sounds like you have a plan to get through this. The boyfriend will help you through, too -- trust in that. If he didn't love and care for you, he'd have already split. I'm sure there are other friends you can call in to help? Build your team and let them love you through this.
I speak from experience. A basilar aneurysm that I didn't know I had ruptured four years ago this month. Doctors found two more unruptured RICA annys when they went into the fix the burst one. My recovery was challenging but it was do-able -- because of the team that I didn't know I had. The emotions -- the roller coaster and all it brings -- is, unfortunately, part of the ride but if you know & respect your feelings, you can get through this.
Big Hugs to you and hang on, You'll be fine!!
Keep us posted! xoxo
Hi Kaitlyn,
I had an unruptured brain aneurysm clipped several years ago and was so very scared. I have young children as well and it was just so hard. I encourage you to pray, meditate, talk to people, let your boyfriend help you. Any down time you have - read, watch tv - keep your mind busy! Stay off the computer in terms of researching - websites will always give you the worst case scenario! I took a small dose of xanax to calm me when I needed to help me calm down or sleep. My recovery was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be! Blurry vision, pain at the incision site - but I had pain meds for that. You've gone through childbirth!! If I can answer any questions, please let me know! Stay positive is the key that worked for me. I refused to see any outcome other than the best. Good luck! Prayers for you!
stay positive and be glad it did not rupture
You will need yourself and much resilience after the surgery
Kaitlyn -
I think you will find a huge amount of support both for yourself and for those in your life (however new or old the relationship might be). What you are experiencing and the emotions that are starting to finally break through the surface are absolutely normal and valid. It is ok to cry, to be angry, to scream etc whatever it is that allows you a healthy way to express those emotions. Getting through this phase is tough but not impossible and once you do your experience with the surgery should go more smoothly because you have had some practice expressing your deep emotions in a healthy way. Know that you are not alone in what you have, are and will experience and the folks on this forum and others in real life support environments can be pillars of strength in times when you need some extra holding up.
Having been diagnosed 2/3/2016 and then finally after a bunch of other tests and appointments going through surgery on 2/26/2016 felt like an eternity but it was resolved. I go through my event by telling myself that this was a procedure that would give me some much needed rest anyway from work and then I would be right back at it. I consider myself a realistic optimist and that definitely helped me get this far down the road with the 6 week mark being yesterday. Even though my problem is solved the emotions you write about are still very real to me and I can identify to a degree with what you are saying.
Stay strong, stay positive and keep expressing yourself in your own healthy way. Keep writing here if that is helpful....know that a large number of folks are keeping you in their thoughts as is obvious from the responses you've had from this post.
Kaitlyn - sending you a big jolt of positivity - all I can add is a big smile and encouragement to trust the flow of your healing journey. The universe will provide you with what you need to sail through this and come out at the end of it with all the support you need to achieve a full recovery. I see you happy and relieved. From my experience, it brings up a lot of end of life sort of issues, and the most important thing became making peace with my soul and completely letting go to trust in the great big beauty and wonder of life to get me through. People outside of the process could see me making it, but I couldn't, and I at some point had to trust the vision of others. All my very very very best for a divinely guided procedure and also a super speedy recovery. I see your boyfriend stepping up to the plate to give what you so deserve in the flow of the moment - support - unconditional support!
Hi Kaitlyn
Being scared is normal, dont knock your self over that, just know this is what you have to do in order to start the healing process. Be strong for your kids and at this point there's really nothing you can do right. Stay positive and be lucky your operation is scheduled. I had a rupture. So you see things are already going your way. Good luck please keep us posted.
Kaitlyn-
Yes, it is all scary. However, the best thing that you can do for yourself is breathe--stay positive--know that you are being taken care of--have positive force inside of you--focus on that! As you read all of our experiences, recognize you are not alone and your body of capable of healing.
Namaste!
Kaitlyn,
As a survivor of 2 ruptures since Feb 2011 what you are experiencing is normal. Try not to stress yourself to the point where your BP spikes. Think positive thoughts and pray (even if you haven’t done it in awhile God listens to all prayers). You have come to the a good place to get information and insight on what you can expect. Sending prayers and Blessings to you and your family. Let us know how you progress.
I wish for success in your surgery and recovery. I hear that you are scared. I think that it would be unnatural not to have some fear/anxiety. I’m glad that you shared with this group.