I finally got up the courage to stop reading your experiences & join where I longed to belong

My name is Yasmin and I am 52 years old & forgive me for so much keyboarding but it feels cathartic to post here, so. Here it is: On October 14, 2012 the left side of my face went numb like a shot of novocaine while showering. I feared a stroke & went to the ER. Admitted to the hospital for over 2 weeks while running test to determine the cause of my TIA (mini stroke that heals itself). the first MRI showed a necessity for another with contrast dye for a clearer view. Two aneurysm’s 4" behind the right eye & a small meningioma on the right side of the parietal part of my brain were found. After a diagnostic angiogram it was decided that the larger aneurysm would be coiled & 2 stents would be used to prevent any future ruptures. The small aneu would be too difficult to access & would have to be watched. Just before the actual procedure my doctor tells me there is a possibility that I may lose sight in my right eye. Though normally, he would have an ophthalmologist with us in the room for the first 30 minutes to see if the procedure could be done without lost of vision he decided not too because the risk of rupture outweighed the risk of being legally blind. I concurred. The coil/stent procedure was successful though my doctor decided on using just one stent on the coiled aneurysm just in case he may ever need to repeat this procedure. He also informed me that I would basically be seeing him for the rest of my life, twice a year for a diagnostic angiogram in order to monitor the smaller, difficult to reach aneu which is intertwined & hiding beneath other veins or arteries. At first I cold not understand why I was so exhausted especially since that has not dissipated much. Secondly, I am having great difficulty with my memory, concentration and with words & my completing nearly every thought process. I was in college when this life changing event occurred as a history student with a scholarship & now I am so fearful Of will I ever be able to retain information? I have such a love of etymology that now seems to evade me & leaves me to wonder how it will affect my poetry & will I ever be able to write as I hoped to do in the near future? I am so ashamed of my new logical limitations that I was too embarrassed to confess all of this to my vascular neurosurgeon on my follow up probably because of fear & vanity of appearing older. I have also experienced what I call “glitches” which I know are small petite seizures. At first they were too numerous to count on some days but at least this last week it is only 1-5 a day. Now, i am having difficulty using my right hand as well as having frequent pain in doing so. I have been overwhelmed & even hesitant to join my hospital’ s monthly Brain Aneurysm group ( which actually meets this morning) because I have such strong emotional grief over the lost of my former self, my former quick wit & of being extroverted. I guess I will try to meet with them again next month. I am turning to the BA foundation for support & for an interchange of encouragement with this unique community for which I am now an integral member of.
Best regards & well wishes to all my fellow survivors & their loved ones,
Yasmin

Hello Yasmin.

Welcome. Whatever you are going through and whatever questions you have you will almost certainly find someone here who has been there before. It is a friendly, supportive place and somewhere to turn when those about us do not understand.

Many of us have found the procedure to the brain causes some damage and the healing is slow. Memory problems and fatigue seem particularly common. I thought I'd be back to full activities by 3 months, but it has taken much longer. I'm now just over a year from coiling. It is early days for you and you will find improvement continues for some time yet (possibly years). I still grieve for the person I used to be, but I am getting to be more like her as the months pass. I have been unable to return to my intellectual job, but I still have the important reasoning abilities, it is mainly the memory and fatigue that cause problems. I'm looking forward with hope to what my new life holds.

For my memory I have learned a number of tricks to help and once I get things in they seem to stay. I just need to work harder to get them in. You will also find your memory improves and you to develop mechanisms to help. Lists, visualizing, mind maps etc. A neuropsychologist may be able to advise you.

Wishing you ongoing improvement and joy in being alive.

Judith

Thank you Judith for the advice. I literally read, then read & read again your words. I wish I knew before hand the damage to our cognitive selves. I keep going back to my dictionary/ thesaurus to try to find the right words. I find comfort & some joy when my children & i get so many laughs from the incomplete & crazy sentences I come up with though. It has taken me 20 min jus to try to focus & write this. I take every day one day at a time & I must say today is a good day thanks to you, Colleen & BA Found. Best, yaz

Hi Yasmin,

You sound like a very sharp lady who has been thru so much---and its great you've decided to post your experiences! You've got absolutely no reason to feel ashamed, you're still in the process of healing your brain and that takes time. I'm age 50, have had two clippings (1998, 2010) as well a coiling in 2006...I had to deal with some right sided paralysis after the coiling, however I got better day by day, I didn't develop any added paralysis, pains or "glitches" to my recovery...I'm hoping I'm wrong but could something else be amiss? more TIA's? a pending major stroke? Seriously Yasmin, the symptoms you're experiencing are not typical of post coiling procedures as a rule. Why take such a chance by not looking into what could wind up being far worse than your aneursyms ? Newly developed symptoms such as what you've described here warrants immediate attention -- BEFORE disaster strikes. I wouldn't hesitate to tell the doctor about ALL symptoms, he may be able to circumvent problems by prescribing an anti seizure medication or something for the time being,( him not knowing the details of whats happening with your body kind of throws a wrench into getting you back to A-1 Health)...Don't want to sound so pushy and such, but i'm just concerned Yasmin. Prayers, peace to you, Janet

hi yasmin! yes I can definitely relate -its my left side tho. I am 3 years post sah and i'm permanently disabled but thank God everyday I can hobble short distances with a cane. Well enough about me! I suspect your poetry will be better than ever judging by your wonderful writing here-thank you for sharing! I'm so glad your here with us as it has helped me in so many ways-a year ago I wouldn't have been able to do this-especially hard since I just got internet and never really typed before! Think positive in the fact we improved and no reason to not continue improving- this is my hope & prayer for you and the others! Keep the faith and write often-it really helps. Maybe write down your issues for the doctor, that way you can just read it as if its 3rd person! Also many here have posted their poetry- feel free to share! c u around soon!

~ And We are so Glad you Joined us ~ Colleen