Maes, I’m not saying you made a poor choice. You cannot control the choices of others, like your husband. There comes a point where you won’t be able to control the choices of your children. They must learn to choose on their own, it’s what parenting is all about…to provide children with skills to make good life choices. In my opinion, one of the best ways parents help children is by role modeling - it’s a practice what you preach or as a parent, practice what you teach.
When I read what is left to you - yourself and your children, I see many blessings! You as an individual can continue to grow, to enjoy every positive aspect of life. And to have the ability to watch and guide your children into adulthood is a great thing!
I tell myself every morning “Today is a great day!” And then I try to make choices that help me see just how great the day is.