I cant take it anymore

Its been more then a year since my dad had brain aneurysm and since then he still doesnt understand his sick and need to work on his memory in order to improvre/

his worst problem is the confabulation every morning/afternoon he wakes up has to shave cause his going to work (he retired 10 years ago).

no matter what i do (show him his retirement ID etc) he still thinks his working but a new memory that his brothers wife died from cancer it did sink in and he remembers it!

its a big frustration that this 2 things are the only things he doent try to sink in and argue with me every day (that he had brain aneurysm and has to try and work on his memory and that he is not working anymore and retired for 10 years).

im affaird he will be stuck like this.

why could he be cripple or cant talk this confabulation is the worst

My Father has alzheimers...and if you know anyone with alzheimers and/or their family, it is a sad and frustrating disease...my family works with him...he walks everyday, does crossword puzzles, gets lots of stimulation and love from family and this helps so much ... imagine for a moment being in your father's shoes... it is no "walk in the park" for him either...perhaps you need to get him some help...and you should possible go to a support gathering for family with alzheimers...(memory issues of your dad are similar)...thoughts your way ~ Colleen

hi Oren! your dad is in denial-i recall mine, thinking the nurse was lying. I was hoping & praying he would improve and i will continue. Maybe your uncle could help convince him since he and his wifes memory are etched in his mind and they go back farther to a more stable & structured time- its just an idea I'm having. Let us know of any changes or if you need to vent, we are here 24/7

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. How old is he? I'm guessing near 75 if he retired 10 years ago.

The only thing that I can suggest is therapy and the website Lumosity. Lumosity has some great games that really do work to improve the brain. I used it after my ruptured aneurysm and it helped. I recommended it to my coworkers 93 year old father and he kind of likes it too.

I don't remember the first 2 weeks after my ruptured aneurysm, but my wife claims I told her that I needed to be out of the hospital by Monday so that I could go to work. I can laugh about that now, but at the time I was very serious.

Hi Oren,

It's mentally and physically had work looking after a loved one, let a lone some one with a brain injury, so give yourself a pat on the back for that. I think the same as the others that have posted you would benifit with some professional advise. I am taking Sue my wife to see a psychologist this Wednesday, when i made the appointment they said they can help with memory probelms and also can pick up on any other problems that might be going on to, why not give it a try. People take different lenghs of time in there recovery and some don't always return back to there old selves you may have to prepare yourself for that as well. Best Wishes John & Sue

Hi Oren

How very frustrating this must be for you ...My question is how old is your Dad? I ask this for the simple reason that, I deal with my Mother-in-law on a daily basis who has succumbed to Alzheimers disease, and she fell into it at a very quick rate and has had numerous TIA's within this past year...So I'm thinking perhaps--just maybe, could something else be going on with your Dads memory? Just a thought, and I hope that things smoothe out for both your Dad and you. Take care, Janet

thx all for your replies

i just cant take it anymore its so frustrating every morning and afternoon he wakes up has to shave!(and he barely has hair on his face) and after it every 5 minutes where are my clothes and he has to go to police (used to work there), and it just cant accept it that he is already 10 years in pension.

he can get new information he remembers the my aunt died( 3 month ago from cancer) but this he just wont accept that he is not working anymore.

i cant take it anymore every day arguing with him, not only that i miss the father i had i have to argue and take care with the one that is still alive. sometimes i feel like maybe it would have been better if he wasnt saved.

people with confabulation got better and over it but he only seems to get worse


You got to get some help, My mother had alzheimers for five years, my sister looked after for three years until she got really bad and my sister just couldn't cope anymore, then we had to put my mother into a home, it's not wrong to ask for help you shouldn't feel that you are letting him down in any way, you are doing your best, but it is so demanding being a carer a very under estimated job . And the last thing you want to do is start feeling unwell yourself, if ask for help it's going to better all round before you really start resenting him being alive.

But the problem is that this is not alzheimers, he can progress new memory not a lot but can/
he does enjoy movies, or when we go together to musicals or stage shows.

only thing is that when he gets up(morning or afternoon) he always but always! wants to shave -> he thinks his going to the poilice.

in the evening its very nice with him.

the annoying thing is that lots of stories here of people having brain aneurysm and getting better incloding people having confabulation problems


Do you think your doctor would refer him to a neuro psychologist, i think they could probably access him, there maybe some help he can get along that route worth a try.

Hello Oren

I think John's suggestion is really good. Ask his primary care doctor to refer him to an 'Acquired Brain Injury Service' or 'Neuro Rehab' centre. I've done a little 'googling' to see if I can identify somewhere suitable in Tel Aviv. The only one I have identified with neuro rehab so far is the Rabin Medical Centre. As well as seeing a neuropsychologist to get advice about how to manage the memory problems there may also be something to help you cope with the stress of it all too. Staff to support you, other relatives to advise, respite care etc.



I agree with Judith. Managing your own stress is just as important. Anything that you and your father can enjoy/remember together is worth the time, but take time for yourself, let your father work with a therapist or what ever would benefit you both during that time.

Sending you peace,


I agree with so many above...you really need to seek some counseling yourself Oren...you have so much anger...you need to learn to accept your Father...and he really could benefit from a Neuro~psychologist...~ Colleen