How many of you feel there are more positives than negatives in your recovery?

I have been recovering for 22 years. I feel I have more reasons to be happy

than to be sad concerning the type of person I have become.

Daniel.... interesting question...as we have so many variances in the procedures...and, in the quality of care...on to our connections w/family and friends ...and, our abilities to function, to advance...

Then each of our recovery levels... and what drives each of us...

Daniel, great question! I’m only about 14 months out from my SAH. My basic personality hasn’t changed - my cup is still always half full. Each and every day I see something positive in this life, it’s great! I truly believe a positive outlook keeps us healthy and makes recovery a little less tedious. Life is full of wonders!

Life as we know it is very precious we all have very little time in this world and after you survive from such a serious problematic affliction and your friends and families are all you have nothing else matters,three years ago I suffered a SAH spent a month in a hospital and another eight months to recover at home and thankful to go back to work and have a chance to be productive again I have been blessed

I am 5.5 yrs post SAH, aneurysm rupture 3 mos hospital n rehab stay, n current carotid aneurysm. God has brought me a long way. I came from a hoyer lift n wheelchair to walking independently, and driving. I still cannot use my left hand and legs have paresis; but I thank God I am here! Sometimes,I get a little discouraged,but then I think about from whence I have come.It could always be worse.

Daniel,

I feel the same as you. I have been recovering for 14 years-May-and the introspection I have learned about life and myself is rather awesome and humbling. I never would have learned the many things I have without this event. First and foremost is the overwhelming understanding of the enormous blessing of life I have been given. I am not without daily reminders of the changes that the aneurysm has left me with and the need to cope with changes in how I accomplish things. I have always liked challenges and puzzles, and I have my fill of these now to contend with on a continual basis. However, how exhilarating it is to accomplish something previously thought to be impossible or at best improbable, according to the doctors! I do not think I am unique in my feelings. I think that when you face death and survive, you are left with a deeper understanding and appreciation of life! You realize how fragile life truly is and how valuable each day is, as you will only walk the way a short time. I often hear people say, "You only go around once, and make the most of it". I am here to say for some reason, I have gotten a chance for a second trip, and I am not going to waste a moment! There are many limitations I have physically. However, those do not stop me from striving to be a better person along my journey. Blessings to you as you navigate life!

I like your statement that you have been recovering for 22 years (present tense). Too many doctors limit recovery with statements or reaching an early plateau. My son at 26 had a grade 5 SAH. He was in a coma and hanging on a tread in ICU for months. He is now home and 2 1/2 years from the rupture. We brought him home on a feeding peg strapped in a chair, blind, and unable to even keep his head up. Cognitive skills at zero. With lots of love from family and hours of daily persistence he is speaking (although hard to understand), can stand with help, moves, and is slowing making small steps with cognitive recovery. Although the steps are very small we are still moving in the right direction.

It is an interesting question. At the time of a traumatic rupture, one does not have the luxury of choosing the course ahead based on expected outcomes. And that is for the best; only God knows.

Occasionally my wife and I have conversations about the changes--how it used to be. It's really difficult to remember how it used to be. She has sometimes said it would have been easier if she had died that day. At that time I had some days to contemplate what life would be like without her, and from my perspective the positives are overwhelmingly superior. And I think most days she would agree.

Daniel, great question! I have been recovering now for 9 years. Up until about six months ago, I would have said more reasons to be happy. However, I think I have just hit that point of realization that there are some things that just are not going to get back to the level they were "before". Even though I try, I still have a lot of difficulty with comparing my "now" with my "then". And, I really struggle with the sad feelings now, not nearly as positive and upbeat as I once was. But, my determination is still there - and it keeps driving me to make the negatives positive, no matter what it takes. Currently, I am actively seeking out neuropsychology support for the first time since my SAH. I think I need to determine once and for all what my final recovery level can be. Maybe this will help, as I never did have the rehab therapy that I should have 9 years ago.

Don't get me wrong - I know how blessed I am to even be here. And my ultimate drive to be the best I can be? - my 14 year old daughter. She is amazing me everyday, and I cannot bear the thought that I almost wasn't here to see it.

I also wish that I had thought to really listen to this group more closely than I have been of late, as well. I joined very shortly post-aneurysm, but it hasn't been until recently that I realized that there are so many others out there struggling with the same issues that I am. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, treatment options, fears and joys. You've been a big help-especially when it feels like there is no one out there that understands.

I feel very blessed to be here. I am able to walk, talk and enjoy my family. On the other hand, I lost my old self that I miss very much. Once energetic, able to work, to drive and keep my house tidy at all times. I worry about these things too much and it pulls me down. I wake up and think today I will clean the living room really good, only to find out it may take me all day to accomplish this so easy task. I guess being home all the time now I see so many things that need to be done & I can no longer do. I feel guilty that my husband has to do all the shopping and running of errands. He tells me not to worry about any of this, he is just thankful I am here and recognizes him and able to talk to him each evening. It still just hurts. I am two and half years out with ruptured annie and some brain damage in the frontal lobe. This has left me with severe balance issues as well as some visual changes. My family does not even want me to walk outdoors by myself, these things are hard to deal with. Spring is coming and working in the yard has always been such a joy for me, I do not think they understand how hard these changes are for me. I have become such a homebody that I do not even look forward to going out anymore, I know this is not healthy. I have vented, I am blessed and do know this, it is just so hard.

Hi Daniel,

Yours is a very thought-provoking question. I can say, definitely, that there are more positives in my recovery. I did not think so at first because after being in the hospital for six weeks, home for months and then trying to go back to work, things just didn't work out and I had to leave a job that I really loved with co-workers that were like family. I left my job in December of 2007, and spent the next three months in the Northeast (where snow is astronomical) alone most of the time just waiting for my husband to get home from work. All my family, friends, and neighbors were working and enjoying their lives.

Now, seven years down the road, I thank God for sparing my life. I have become a very different person, but I think a better, more compassionate person. I used to never be able to say no, without a great deal of guilt. I very seldom made my wishes known, just went with everyone else wanted. Now, I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have removed the "toxic" people from my life, including relatives. I just don't have time for negative people. I have become much closer to my best friend, my husband, Jim. He has seen me through it all, and never flinched. I still have memory issues, I sometimes forget what my point was in the middle of a sentence, and I tire easily and then the memory gets worse, but I am ALIVE.

Honestly, I’m pretty dang happy with the new me. I am 3.5 years post-op and still have some bad headaches, vision problems, and bad days. My partner of 16 years left me because she couldn’t accept the “new Catey.” I have some memory issues and oddly I don’t like to read mystery novels anymore and have switched to hardcore science fiction. That was a weird change. But the sun still comes up every day, I get to live the life I want, and I now take joy in the little things. While this is not the life I had planned, it is the only one I’m going to get so I plan on living it to the fullest! One big thing we all have in common is that we all know how much life can change in an instant. So, my fellow survivors, I wish you peace, happiness, and acceptance.

Daniel, you should feel blessed! Most other aneurysm survivors do not look at things from that point of view. Hang in there, man!
LeRoy

Daniel
You are spot on, positive is the way to go

Just wanted to add that I have really been down, as probably everyone else has, at this never-ending winter in the Northeast this year. Most days I am afraid to go out due to the ice and the fear of falling. I have been so up the last couple of days because of all the positive comments on this blog. Thanks for lifting my spirits in a way only spring can do. God bless all of you, and good health to each one of us.

I am 3 years post SAH as of next week. I am enjoying my precious life. Having it almost suddenly disappear increases my gratitude for this moment and the last three years. Sometimes I get tricked into thinking I am recovered. So it really helps me to see comments from survivors of 10+ years saying they are still recovering. I think it will help me be more gentle with myself when I forget things or run out of energy. I am my old self and my new self all rolled into now. I am so thankful to still be in this wild and wonderful life.
And thanks to all of you who added comments in this group. I know y’all “get it.”

I am so thankful for every day, and truly live in the present as he is in my presence. After having my aneurysm repair, I was diagnosed with cancer, my husband was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks after I completed my treatment. Unfortunately he passed 9montha after his diagnosis. It was through those life events that realized people not things are important as sell as my relationship with God. I pray that all of you who are feeling down will find peace.

Dear Susan,

I am so sorry for your loss. Having the aneurysm and then the Cancer was more than enough for anyone, and then to have your beloved husband diagnosed and then pass away was truly challenging. God bless and try to keep a peaceful heart.

Im 2 years out and family and friends think im back to normal. I dont tell others what im dealing with in my body and mind and get very upset with myself when i fail at being normal. I feel that i should be fine but in all honesty im not normal. I feel like im weak and stupid and a weakling when i have issues.



Tammy Akin said:

Im 2 years out and family and friends think im back to normal. I dont tell others what im dealing with in my body and mind and get very upset with myself when i fail at being normal. I feel that i should be fine but in all honesty im not normal. I feel like im weak and stupid and a weakling when i have issues.