Happy to be a part of the family

Continuing the discussion from 11 September 2022 Membership welcome:

I am so happy to be part of the family. I have been reading some of the articles and comments and it is helping me to deal with the “new me.” I know I can not go back to my job because I am sensitive to noise and to light. I also have problems with recall when I am feeling excited or stressed. I often feel like my brain is blank or feels like a dark void but peaceful oddly enough. Get extremely fatigued when trying to focus on anything for too long. I am my own time table and just trying to relax but it is hard when you are not sure what may come.

Woohoo Suzanne you posted, good for you!

I certainly relate to a brain being black, it’s what I kept telling my Neurosurgeon for about three years after I ruptured. It wasn’t until I met Madere, who used to be part of the wonderful people of ModSupport, and her husband down in Atlanta that someone finally understood what I was trying to say. Her husband figured it out in a New York Minute which I suppose is faster than any other minute lol. He said, “Oh, you have no awareness of thought processing”. I think I may have jumped up and hugged him right then and there! Because he gave me the words, I could pass them to my Neurosurgeon who finally understood me saying “brain black” and tapping my thick skull. My words were really lost back then. I believe his understanding helped my recovery tenfold. It still amazes me that a person I never met knew exactly what I was trying to say, God love him.

@ronk also helped me as did numerous others here. Ron understood immediately when I couldn’t visualize things or people in my brain, I had to have pictures to see. He and others provided work arounds that I practice to this day. I chatted with him and a couple of others about the first image that popped in my brain - the foreleg of a horse from the knee down! It took me about five years I guess to even start regaining that ability though it’s shaky at best now. Lack of visualization makes it really difficult for me to remember how to do things here as a Mod. Fortunately, I have Merl, Ms Sharon and Mr, Richard from @ModSupport helping me. I’d be lost without them I do believe, Their compassion and understanding is awesome.

I can’t recall anyone ever saying the same about their brain being like a dark void. It is peaceful in its own way and a wonderful way to see it.

I hope your experience here as a member provides as much for you as it has for me.

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Suzanne! We ARE a family! I’m exactly like you and I am 8 years past my rupture. I cannot tolerate noise, sensitive to bright lights, fatigue is still with me but luckily I am able to nap almost every day, i cannot deviate from what I plan to do in a day. If friends want me to do something with them I need to know ahead of time. If there is a lot of chatter in a room, I can’t cope and excuse myself to a quieter place. My short term memory is awful but I don’t have any problem remembering old things. Grocery shopping - even with a list - takes me twice as long as it used to because of the incessant music they play in every store I go to. People who have never been through what we’ve experienced don’t even “hear” the music. We used to live in that world. Now we have a “new” world.