Just wanting to vent. Hell, I dunno maybe its a pity party! I can't sleep this past week. I am just bothered that its been 10 months since my clipping and I still don't feel like I used to. I am so off balance. This has taken an emotional toll on me this week. They say "I am strong as bull" but this week I feel like a big baby. I spoke with my doctor last week an told him I feel like gravity kinda just pulls me to the right when I walk. He has suspected a mini stroke.
I can't lift anything still due to a second surgery. It feels like my head will explode and then my eye swells up. My 2 dogs were getting into it over a bone and I went to break them up. Next day I end up with swollen eyes. I ended up having a CSF leak due to the crainiotomy.
Know what else just blows my mind. When people ask me, let's go to the gym to lift weights or ask me to help them move etc. Another one that gets my hair standing up on the back of my neck is for instance. I will be walking to lunch with co-workers to the cafeteria. I don't walk as fast as them because my balance is off. Well, I guess they get tired of walking my pace and they all just walk faster and leave me behind. It makes be feel like crap! What part of I had 2 brain surgeries don't you understand? Are people that dumb! I know I am better off than alot of people here. But, sometimes don't you just get sick of hearing that. Don't get me wrong. I am so ever grateful to be alive. But, at this point I don't think I have really vented. I have just gone with the flow. Did I mention I am frustrated '-)