Seems like it says the same thing, but totally different. Had a ruptured aneurysm two years and three months ago that was clipped. then I suffered Vasospasm shortly after that. I am also watching another small aneurysm on the other side of the brain. I went back to work two years ago, I am blesed to say I have very few problems. Small problem with speech, significant loss of hearing on the side the ruptured aneurysm was on, have terrible intolerance to heat [weird huh?]. I flood at times [sensory overload], and a few other small problems. My biggest problem has been fatigue. I have finally decided to have a neuro psych exam to see if the fatigue is caused by depression, or vise versa. Its quite common for those of us who are survivors to suffer with PTSD.
I hate the fatigue and its never the same. It seems some day's are fine, some are just awful. Even just getting out of bed is a struggle. I too have savage problems with temperature. We are presently having 40-45 degree Centigrade temps and its knocking me around badly. My temp problems are bad enough without the HOT, HOT days. At times my wife will want the air conditioner on, but for her to do so I need the winter dressing gown. Then at other times I'll be melting internally but she tells me its actually cool.
The problem with the fatigue vs depression argument is that its a bit like the argument of which came first, the chicken or the egg. Is it the fatigue that is a contributor to the depression or the depression that is tiring me out. And again for me, it's a vicious circle. I get annoyed with myself due to the fatigue which leads me towards depression. This exhausts me further which leads to a deeper depression. So I've tried to reduce what I do to reduce the fatigue and I get annoyed with myself because I haven't done anything and around and around we go. I find it such a fine balancing act. Some dr's want to dose me up on psych meds, which I have vehemently refused. The meds I'm taking now are bad enough, I'm not taking more to counteract the meds I'm on. I would much rather cut the initial meds than take more pharma crap. Problem being I need to meds I'm presently taking to control symptoms.
Hi Roy, congrats on getting back to work! I like your term 'flooding' since that's exactly how it feels. Like your brain gets flooded with stimuli. I've gone through two different types of fatigue; one triggered by the flooding you mention and the other by a lack of vitamin D. While it's understandable for the body to feel fatigued after all it's been through, it can be frustrating when you're trying to function in the world. I want to crawl into the nearest doorway for a little nap. (Maybe I should start carrying around a pop up tent?) Routine blood tests usually uncover my vitamin D deficiency. I can't function without the supplement.
I have to agree with Merl. Some days it is the fatigue that makes me depressed and some days it is the depression that makes me depressed. Flooding- I can not drive because of the flooding stimuli. Some stores have too much stimuli.
Roy, I talked to my Doc about my fatigue, the first 18 months my brain was healing and so I did sleep a lot. But then at 18 months, I was still needing to sleep several hours in the afternoon and would become exhausted shortly after eating. It was suggested that my fatigue was behaviors. I had months of shutting down and my threshold had perhaps diminished. So I started changing my behaviors especially around meals and decreased my carbs. Not all the fatigue is behavioral, too much stimuli and my brain shuts down, i can fight it a little now, but it still drives me to nap. I still need at least 9 hours of sleep and then lots of rest periods during the day. I was unable to return to work.
Thanks Moltroub. You see, this is why I like these sites. I can see an alignment between my situation and others (even if the dr's can't). I too often need that afternoon nap. I too was told it was me, it was behavioural, I was told I had conditioned myself to now need an afternoon nap and I just needed to condition myself out of it. So I tried to push myself to "get over it". The more I pushed, the worse my symptoms. But in my mind "if that's what the dr's think let's see if they are right" Push HARDER and I did. It was my wife who put a stop to that. She could see what was happening as I was on a constant decline. Even in 'pacing' my day, I was battling the fatigue.
So now I'm limited, one major task/day and not a day full of tasks, just one task. This has been VERY difficult for me as I've always been very active, and now, I can't. As others have said "That frustration is HUGE" and like Moltroub I have been unable to return to work, which causes frustration, which causes anger, which causes fatigue, which causes depression, which causes frustration, which causes anger, which causes fatigue which causes depression, which causes...... ....and around we go again.
Roy, I had never thought of it in the terms of 'flooding' but that is exactly what happens. Just too much occurring for me to be able to process it all. I'm simply overwhelmed, but I have never recognised this and I normally just put it down to me having done too much in my day, again(as my wife would say). Some days I can be semi ok and complete a number of tasks, but in a day of 'flooding', one task can be one too many. And the dr's say I have no reason to be frustrated, which just adds to my frustration. WTF GRRRrrrrrrrr. As if any of us would choose to be 'here'. Damn Doctors.
Vent Merl vent! To me venting makes me feel just a lil bit better. I totally agree with frustration, which causes anger, which causes fatigue, which causes depression, which causes frustration, which causes anger, which causes fatigue which causes depression, which causes...... ....and around we go again.