Disgusted!

This is not like me but the last few weeks I feel even less like Kim.

I have had problems with major swelling and at times can't even open my eye at all. The neuro and plastic surgeons believe that there is either a leak or a blockage. I don't feel good just feel totally drained. Other lifes problems don't help right now either.

Found out the other day that I have diskdisplacement in my jaw along with arthritis on both sides, more so on the side that the disk is not in the right place. So on Valentines day I get to go back and get some sort of bite plate that I need to wear 24 hours a day. I also got a date for my next surgery. February 29th.

Going to be a packed operating room because my neuro said that there is going to be him, atleast one other neurosurgeon and the plasticsurgeon. He said that he is going to do his thing then the plastic is going to lift up my face. Can't understand why they think that I have nerve damage, the nerves have only been cut 4 times and number 5 is on it's way.

I just don't know where my energy went too..I'm not worried, scared or nervous..Just totally drained is how I feel...

Sorry to complain but no one else gets it.... :-(

Kimberley,

I am so sorry for it all for you. Overall, you have done a tremendous healing for all you have been through. You have gone through so much healing, it has to drain energy; along with your daily discomfort. I hope you are documenting daily to write your book; you will need to get all your records to help you with your story.

My hugs and prayers for one of our greatest Sweethearts...

Pat

i'm so sorry to hear you're facing more surgery. are you on meds for depression? i can't help but wonder if that's the reason you feel so drained. maybe you aren't scared or worried but just dealing w/all of what you're being forced to deal with is enough to bring a person's spirits down.

i hope you have plenty of positive support at home. it makes a difference. seems no one around me, and many others here, can understand what we're going through and are therefore unable to be a good support system.

i looked at your pictures before replying. you are a gorgeous lady but a light glows from within you as well that makes you even more beautiful. always let that light shine dearheart. you have a purpose in this life.

Kimberly I feel so bad for you. You have gone through so much for so long. I so wish we all lived closer to each other for the physical support. I think being able to sit and talk with other aneurysm survivors over a cup of coffee can work miracles for support. Like you said other lifes problems are still there and don't go away.

We all are here for you. Prayers for you. Jeanne.

Kimberly-am sooo very sorry to hear you are having so many issues. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope your road to recovery goes smoothly in the future! Best wishes honey, we're all here for you!

Cece

Kimberley, I hope today was a bit better than yesterday for you. You've been through so much. I just had my third surgery last week and found that I'll need a fourth some months from now to close a gap in the back of my head where they had to put a skin graft during the cranioplasty. Operation that was to be 2 hours was 4 1/2 hours -- room also full of neurosurgeons with plastic surgeons taking the lead. It's hard when we think we've been through the worst and then find that there is more to come. My heart aches for you today.

I sure hope they find out if you have a blockage or leakage. My left eye was swollen after this last surgery but swelling went down 3 days later. I'm still left with the vision loss and a "heavy feeling" on the left side of my head -- I was hoping that would go away with the cranioplasty.. no such luck -maybe overtime since I suspect it's nerve damage. It is nice to look at myself in the mirror and see a whole head!! Keep taking of yourself; you've been a positive influence on me as I've gone through this. How can I help you?

Kimberly

I have followed your posts and prayed along with everyone when you have gone through all your surgeries, but this is my first time making a comment . You have been through sooo much . Your over all upbeat positive attitude dealing with everything that comes your way is amazing . No wonder you're drained and feel the need to complain. You just complain all you want to and if you feel the need......Complain Louder . Please know that I am sending prayers and lots of energy your way .

Joan

Hi Kim,

I am so very sorry to hear of all your troubles. I have an inkling of how drained you feel as any one of your issues would be challenging enough. I've concluded that pain is a big energy zapper! So, it is likely what is affecting you. Please get some rest, as much as you can.

May I ask if they have also engaged a pain specialist for you?

Speaking of pain, one of the best things that I've found for my nerve pain (and I have severe nerve pain at times) is 2 milk chocolate Hershey's Nuggets. I discovered the benefit quite by accident several years ago but I have found that it consistently works for me and only takes about 10 minutes to get some relief. So, unless you're allergic to chocolate or don't like it, you can get some pleasure from the taste as well as some relief. I also find that being able to look at something beautiful in nature helps me to feel better. Maybe this can help you, too.

Take care. I will be praying for you.

Carole

Kimberley…Psychologically the thought of what’s coming, and all you’ve been through would drain an Olympic athlete! You’re doing good to talk about it, and have every right to feel how you do. I bet when it’s all behind you, and you’ve had time to heal, that you’ll get your energy back. Have faith. Spring will come, the life and color will be popping all around you, the sun will warm your skin and your spirits. Hopefully you’ll be all fixed up and have a thorough recovery. None of us would elect to do it the way you are, but hey…Did you say “face lift?” :slight_smile: That might end up being the silver lining for a crappy situation. Try to keep your sense of humor Kim. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Best wishes and good luck. Keep us up to date. Just hang tough…The good days come after the bad ones. I think a lot of us do understand. Glad you shared.

Kimberly all I want to do is hug you! And then send you all my prayers and positive energy. I’m sorry you are having such a horrific time and I will just keep praying! Heather

Kimberley...sweetie...you say what you feel...I haven't seen anyone go through what you have ... sometimes, sad to say, I call it a journey, but for you, it has been a nightmare...Do u know that my hubby asks about you from time to time? No one else on this site (when I tell some stories) he remembers, but always you...we keep you in our prayers...and dammit...I want this for you...I want all of this to go good...as far as the energy, it is no wonder you feel drained Kim....I think you body is working overtime...the best you can do for you...is when you feel ok...do things...when you don't, rest as much as possible...your body is telling you something...

Considered yourself Hugged...I do worry so about you...Colleen

Kimberley,

I am so sorry to hear you are so down. You have been the one who lifts most of us up here! Please hang in there. Better days have to be ahead. Try to hold onto that wonderful sense of humor of yours. Happy thoughts are being sent your way.

~Wendy

well hang tough and ill keep you in my prayers.

Hi friend-

I'm so sorry that your journey keeps throwing you awful curves. Anyone would be beaten down. But also try to hang on to your incredible resilience....your great attitude about YOUR Christmas (and the excitement for those new tools!) - you will have many many more great times, but I know right now it just plain sucks, and you just come here and vent all you want (and privately to me to - any time). Emotions are powerful, and what you've been through and are going through would challenge the best among us, which you are.

Take a breath, go an hour at a time, and maybe find some peace in the knowledge that so many here DO understand and do care so deeply.

This will pass and you will be okay.

xoxo J

Hi Kimberly, I was thinking about you and thought maybe a big smile & hello would cheer you up some.

Hope your feeling better!

(<:

Jeanne

Kimberly, you know the old adage is so true - the 5th time is the charm!! I was hoping you were getting better, but though I know you must hate having surgery AGAIN, hopefully, this time everything will be fixed and no more problems (you know, the 5th time adage, again).

Are you taking Lorazepam? I take it occasionally and it really takes the edge off the anxiety levels, at least for me. I hope you are having a better day today. I know it's hard getting your thoughts off your head when you feel lousy - but try to do one thing every few days that you really enjoy. Wish I could make a wish and make you feel better, but know that we are thinking and praying for you.

Sherri

Thanks Pat!!

I have been keep records but latley I have been so swollen that I have not spent too much time at my computer. I just think that it's been a long road since the that day they said that I had an annie. I will be fine I know it!!! It's just I think it has all finally catching up...

(((((hugs)))))

Hi Kathy,

Depression is one the thing that I have fought hard not to have. I force myself to do things daily as well as speak to as many people daily that I can call..The telephone is my best friend..LOL

But no I am not on meds for depression. I personally think it's just been a long 15 months and I just want to be me again...

I know that I have a purpose in life :-) And thanks sooooooo very much for the compliment

(((hugs)))

Jeanne.

That coffee sounds sooo good and talking with others that understand what your going through does help! I was talking with my neuro's assistant and we talked about just that how even though this is something that they work with daily they can't understand exactly what it is we deal with nor can they understand that emotional side of it like we do...

(((hugs)))

Many (((hugs))) your way Cece :-)