You have explained our situation in one of the best ways I have heard. Thanks for your thoughts and have a happy spring.
patti franks said:
I think everyone kinda changes a bit! This isnt a little surgery that you just get over..this is your control panel for your body and its been tampered with! Some people just dont understand that..they say the brain takes years to heal not months and sometimes the affects are life time..its just what we get to live with for having a sugery so exteme!
I will keep you, your wife, and your beautiful babies in my prayers.
Dimitris said:
Dear Sharon,
thanks for your reply it gives my courage! I hope that she will recover and she will be able to contact with us some day because she is young. Doctors say that time will show.
Indeed it was a real emotional "free fall" i hope that noone else will live something like this...
Thanks for putting into words my appreciation for this discussion. I do not feel alone or weird any more. It is just the hand that has been dealt, and we have to accept that. Happy spring to you as well.
Madds said:
This discussion, both positive and negative, has been an eye-opener for me. I miss 'me' too. Maybe we are all out there in an alternate universe :) Anyway, I appreciate everyone's honesty. I don't feel so odd or alone. I do wish everyone a warm spring day in a poppy field.
I was glad to read all the replies because it makes me feel better and not so alone which I have been feeling lately. It's like when you first get sick the cards and calls just flow then almost a year later my phone can go days without ringing. I do get angry when people say it could be worse, don't they think I know that. I never once said I was not thankful to be alive, I do miss the old Renee, the one who worked full time and was wife mother and grandmother, had the answers to everything at home and work. It's not that way anymore. I really hate the nausea the most, today.
Please hang in there, Renee. You are right that at first everyone wants to hear about your situation, and then as time goes by, there is less and less interest. Two things that annoy me. People who tell me I look fine, and people who tell me that it could be worse. They just don't get it. I do, and everyone on this site gets it, and we are all here for each other. Are you still working? One of the greatest losses in my life was having to walk away from my job, after suffering a ruptured aneurysm. It broke my heart and made me feel like an invalid more than anything else during that time did. All I can promise you is that it does get better. Happy Spring. rmb said:
I was glad to read all the replies because it makes me feel better and not so alone which I have been feeling lately. It's like when you first get sick the cards and calls just flow then almost a year later my phone can go days without ringing. I do get angry when people say it could be worse, don't they think I know that. I never once said I was not thankful to be alive, I do miss the old Renee, the one who worked full time and was wife mother and grandmother, had the answers to everything at home and work. It's not that way anymore. I really hate the nausea the most, today.
It's been 6 years for me, I tire easily, am in bed by 7pm, being in a room full of people confuses me. I become dizzy when walking in a mall and become nauseated very easily. I tend to be and have always been very positive and the "life of the party" but now I am too exhausted. I work full time and by that I mean 10 to 12 hours a day, after my day I just want to go home, eat and go to bed. In my line of work I am "giving" support all day, upbeat and smiling but when I have my down time I am wiped out. I have also had two strokes, my right side is like lead at night. So has my personality changed?? Heck, my whole life has changed!
I did see an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist who checked me out completely and was sure the Vertigo's due to the aneurysm which then was also confirmed by my neurologists. There's not much they can do as the damage is done and non reversible. I just have to live with that. I have an MRI taken twice a year where another aneurysm was discovered last year and I was operated on again with 2 more coils put in place last June.
LHR said:
Gabriele, are you experiencing vertigo often? If so, you need to see a specialist. My aneurysm burst on April 13, 1974. So, I've cheated death for over 40 years! I get vertigo, too. But, that is on the bottom of the list of things that I'm dealing with. If the vertigo is causing you to alter your lifestyle, I would, most definitely see a neurologist. LHR
Deborah, I used to be a very emotional person all my life and even made all major life changes with my emotions and less with ration. Since the aneurysm I've become very rational, I also have noticed that I've become much better with Math which always was my weak thing. I used to cry during sad movies, etc. now nothing brings me to cry, very strange. I've also become tougher and eliminated a lot of people in my life (friends and family). I have no interest in physical closeness at all anymore which does cause problems with my relationship.
Deborah said:
Would you share a bit more about your character chsnges... Be a little more specific as to the differences from before to the present. I would like to hear more about your situation
I am 37 months post 2 bleeds and 2 coilings, and yes my mood changed, I was depressed for awhile, got on meds, it seems that I don't get angrier as easily as before the bleeds. I'm a little more impulsive and sometimes I laugh inappropriately - which embarrasses my teenagers. I am more impatient and want to do more for myself but there are things I just can't do - fastening my bra, cutting my nails, remembering names and the weirdest one - I can't remember "The Lord's Prayer" in either language I'm bilingual but by the grace of God I'm alive!
My husband has noted that I am "more subdued, less bubbly, and quieter" than I was pre-rupture. I know that I am frightened and depressed. I am trying very hard to approach every day with optimism, feeling that things will get better.
When was your rupture, Karen? The first couple of years were especially hard for me, then each year I was a little more able to cope with my "new life". I still have deficits that I deal with, but now I am a little more likely to count my blessings of still being alive. Good luck to you, and Happy Easter.
Karen McGregor said:
My husband has noted that I am "more subdued, less bubbly, and quieter" than I was pre-rupture. I know that I am frightened and depressed. I am trying very hard to approach every day with optimism, feeling that things will get better.
Karen, I was still in the hospital when I was as far out as you are with your rupture. Then a few months at home before trying unsuccessfully to return to a job that I loved. Hang in there. It will get better with time. It is bound to make you feel different having survived a near death experience. Karen McGregor said:
Rupture was 2/24/15,so very recent. I know it takes time, just imparient. ,
Karen, I too, was still in the hospital 5 weeks after the rupture and stroke, and never could have replied to or even have read (due to visual distortion and field cut) discussions on a board like this, if the internet had existed then, when I was where you are now. It takes a great deal of time, at least a year before you begin to start feeling even somewhat near "normal."
It helps me not feel so alone reading these things! I had a giant aneurysm 3 cm triple clipped, unruptured 5 months ago in my frontal lobe, attached to my optic nerve. I, too, am very short tempered, and have been cussing at family with my short fuse, which I would never have done before. Everyone thinks I am just fine, look fine, ect. It just pisses me off, because they have no idea what it feels like on the inside. I seem to have no filter and am quite blunt with people. I cannot return to work as I feel like I would go off on someone because they treat their people so poorly there anymore. I cannot act as a turtle, tuck my head in, and waste another 7 years of my life to reach retirement. I feel like I am finally standing up for myself. Now I am going down the trail with a neurologist, gettin an MRIS and likely seeing psychiatrist in order to file for disability through my work. It is a renewed way of looking at life…like a “take no BS anymore” sort of view.
kathryn erkelens said:
one of my aneurysms was in the frontal lobe of the brain, which controls personality trates. my family says I lost my filter. sometimes I say rude things to people and don’t even relize it. but other things have changed too, I use cruse words that I never would say before?
It helps me not feel so alone reading these things! I had a giant aneurysm 3 cm triple clipped, unruptured 5 months ago in my frontal lobe, attached to my optic nerve. I, too, am very short tempered, and have been cussing at family with my short fuse, which I would never have done before. Everyone thinks I am just fine, look fine, ect. It just pisses me off, because they have no idea what it feels like on the inside. I seem to have no filter and am quite blunt with people. I cannot return to work as I feel like I would go off on someone because they treat their people so poorly there anymore. I cannot act as a turtle, tuck my head in, and waste another 7 years of my life to reach retirement. I feel like I am finally standing up for myself. Now I am going down the trail with a neurologist, gettin an MRIS and likely seeing psychiatrist in order to file for disability through my work. It is a renewed way of looking at life…like a “take no BS anymore” sort of view. Also having anxiety and depression. Not only does my filter not work, neither does my shut off valve for eating…have gained 45 lbs in about 3 months. The impulse controls are in the frontal lobe as well.
kathryn erkelens said:
one of my aneurysms was in the frontal lobe of the brain, which controls personality trates. my family says I lost my filter. sometimes I say rude things to people and don’t even relize it. but other things have changed too, I use cruse words that I never would say before?
Hi Gabriele: I suffered dizziness, light headedness and loss of balance which is what caught my annie and I had it clipped October 2014. I still have these symptoms and am told it was not the aneurysm that causes it. I am worse when tired and feel "out of it" at times when really tired too. My daughter doesn't let me drive when I am like that, lol.
Grateful that is all I have and learn to live with it as most times it is manageable. Good Luck.
My aneurysm was in the frontal lobe as well. I also have no filter. I pick and choose who I have as friends now. I also have removed friends and relatives from my life who were just too negative to be tolerated by the new me. I also use curse words that never came out of my mouth when I am extremely frustrated with life and the people in it. Knowing now that the frontal lobe controls personality traits makes it all clear. My particular annoyance has been the elderly for the past eight years of recovery. I have absolutely no tolerance for them. I was compassionate before the aneurysm----in fact, even worked in doctors' offices where the majority of patients were elderly. That has all changed. On the bright side of this, I am much happier just surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up each and every day. Good luck to both of you in your recovery and you, JulesinOH, with your disability. I had no problems going on SS disability eight years ago, since I obviously (to the doctors who treated me) could not go back to work.
Hi Kathryn and Sharon. Well, I have to do disability through OPERS a, not SS. Actually, SS disability is who I work for…interestingly enough. Yes, my tolerance is low as well. Interesting that your tolerance for the elderly is low. I guess mine is lower for my mother though…who I have catered to for years. Another thing is, I have just been a caretaker for so many years for my mother and partner who is disabled veteran. It’s never really been about me as I’ve always been the healthy one. I think part of it is that I reached my breaking point. I’m easily overwhelmed anymore and not willing to be the über responsible one that I have always been. I agree with the PTSD symptoms of this that I read on brainline I think. It’s also kind of like an NDE without the dying part. It’s like a second chance to live and create a new chapter. Thoughts???
Sharon E. Morey said:
Hi Kathryn and JulesinOH,
My aneurysm was in the frontal lobe as well. I also have no filter. I pick and choose who I have as friends now. I also have removed friends and relatives from my life who were just too negative to be tolerated by the new me. I also use curse words that never came out of my mouth when I am extremely frustrated with life and the people in it. Knowing now that the frontal lobe controls personality traits makes it all clear. My particular annoyance has been the elderly for the past eight years of recovery. I have absolutely no tolerance for them. I was compassionate before the aneurysm----in fact, even worked in doctors’ offices where the majority of patients were elderly. That has all changed. On the bright side of this, I am much happier just surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up each and every day. Good luck to both of you in your recovery and you, JulesinOH, with your disability. I had no problems going on SS disability eight years ago, since I obviously (to the doctors who treated me) could not go back to work.
this pdf will come up when searching: temporal lobe and limbic system as "MEDIAL TEMPORAL LOBE (the Limbic System)". There are numerous more websites than these few listed...
I have not had tears since the first f/u angio (7 months/20 days post procedures) which also included the extreme vision hit losing the normal recovery I had been experiencing since the procedures.
Prayers you all will find time to view the med/edu data...to help you form your questions to your doctors...about your symptoms and causes and potential recoveries... and, have so much more to share here.