I lost my husband in September 2010 to a massive brain aneurysm…i was talking to him and 2 hours later he was gone the dr’s told me 45% of pople who have aneurysm loose their life and 15% die instantly he was in the 15 % i took him to hospital thinking he was having low blood sugar moment (he was diabetic) thinking we would be at the hospital a hour 2 tops…only this time i did not… i am still in total shock …i guess i have no closure there were no goodbyes…did you have family/friend support??? some friend and co-workers 2 weeks later were talking abut dating again going to chruch looking for men , oh and my all time fave you dont have to be in comment just get a little on the side… i do not feel i can heal with all this my head is spinning …i am 95% a nice person but i have bascially told them to back off i need time… i know they dont know what to say and in their way are trying to be “helpful” i am taking small steps to go on with my life but getting tired of being shoved " i want to throw up in my mouth if i hear " life goes on" he would not want you to be upset " " are you looking for a man, no why not?" i am in a greif group and it helps they are all nice but most have have lost husbands many years ago to cancer etc and had time to prepare and said goodbyes… if i mention him (and i do not do it all the time) peolpe change the subject iI NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!! MY MOM AND HIS BEST FRIEND DONNA are my biggest support system they listen give feed back and i feel better and then we talk ot other stuff… i took care of him ( i spoiled him ) when he was having high/low diabetic moments …doing research all the symptoms were there i just feel if i had paid better attention maybe ??? so am i a mental case???
You are not a mental case and you are allowed to grieve in whatever way you need to. Aneurysms are often silent and undetectable. There is nothing you or he did wrong or missed. I am blessed in that my aneurysm was detected and fixed purely by chance before anything happened. I wish you the best. I’m sure you will find people here willing to listen and give you the support you need and deserve.
First...I am so sorry for your loss...aneurysm's have taken too many lives...and educating people and ER's are very important...next...you are not a mental case...you are a women grieving...May God Bless you...and You my Dear embrace the good memories and embrace your support system...tell the rest...that you are grieving and not interested in dating...if they continue to bug...they are not your friends and I would say, "goodbye"...
Lastly...I am bless I am survivor...and haven't lost anyone...although I had a close call with a complication when they coiled...
My Best regards to you...Colleen
Cindy,
I lost my mom this month to an aneurysm. Its not even been a month and my dad tells me that two woman came up to him at my moms funeral and in front of her casket pretty much threw themselves at him?! I am pissed to say the least i can understand what u are going through because we are in such shock we don't even want to begin to talk about this or even think of what the future holds let alone date again? I know eventually my dad might want to find someone because he is young he is 54. I just hate the fact that people think its okay to say such things. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband you are not a mental case, you had no time to prepare yourself for whats coming. I hope you and i and the rest of the people who lost someone can ever find a good moment to feel at peace with what happened...
Dhel
oh yes the vultures are there waiting one of Chris so call friends who was totally plastered came up to me and grabbed my hind end this was at his bedside i at the moment did not realize it then we had a gathering at a friends house he did it again like at the hospial he grabbed me in a bear hug crying saying i love Chris i love you , your so beatuful my girlfrind would be so jealous i just shoved him away, i mentioned it to Chris best friend Donna on way home she hit the brakes and wanted to go back i told he i just thought he was drunk (once again) I told her i was not sure it really happend because he had me around the waste in the bear hug , well then at the memoral he did the bear hug again and several of Chris other friends saw this and wanted to pound him I just asked everyone to please for the night just let it be the memorial Chris would have wanted(his girlfrind saw it to and they argued most of the night)...but they all confronted him the next day...he kept saying oh no it was not like that i did not grab her they said we saw it ..he admited to it but said he was drunk and did not know what he was doing (yea right 3 times of not knowing what he was doing) they all told if he got near me again they would pound him... .
i am sorry for the lost of your mother greif is a hard road please any time you need to talk , or vent message me .. I write in a journel daily about the type of day i am having and i found this poem that helps me ...If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane, We would walk all the way to Heaven to bring you home again No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye. You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why. Our hearts ache in sadness and secret tears will flow what it meant to loose you , no one will ever know" and another quote is "No one is gone as long as someone remembers them"
im sorry to hear about your loss,it sounds like you lost someone very special and that you loved very much…i would switch churches and friends…that is totally inappropriate and not what a friend or loved one should do at anytime…i pray you find peace in time and you will move on as fast as your heart n soul will allow…i couldnt imagine losing my husband of 24 yrs so i cannot say i feel the pain you are going thru, but only that God will always be by your side to listen and help you get stronger. much love n prayers are going out to you n ur family…God bless
Bad day the friend of Chirs who gabbed my hind at this memorial in was involved in a very very bad motorcycle accident yesterday ...please say prayers for him ...even thought he made me angry by his actions I still considered him a friend but cut ties with him I do not wish anything bad on anyone and still cared for him...he has head injuries and internal bleeding I wanted to go to the hospital when another friend told me that said they did not want me to see him in this condition.....(and his ex wife who has cussed all of us out since thier divorce( me included) is at hospital blaming everyone for this accident) please pray for her to find a way to deal with her anger ( i am sure she deep down she is upset) and find some sort of peace
Cindy,
i will keep your friend in my prayers tonight and thank u for the poem it made me reflect and the quote as well. Thank you I really needed that, i need words of wisdom and know that someone understands what i truly feel.
Iam sorry for your loss, I loss my mother in october 2010
I am sorry for the loss of your mother....thank you for your kindness...i recently joined this site i want to be able to relate to others who have expirenced losing somone and also hear stories of survivers and their families
he went fast and sometimes when i sit and my mind wonders i think i guess crazy things....he told friend he had really bad headache ...i know there is nothing we could have done or as the drs said if they were standing next to him they could not have saved him but...i wonder if he knew what was going on and what he was thinking if he knew he was dying....i know that is morbid . i just wish i knew his last thoughts i guess its like i am having a war in my head.. i want to know but i was told he did not suffer...i know he is gone and i accept that....its just those thoughts that i cant get out of my head and is what bothers an hurts me.. i have so many unanswered questions and there is so much i want to know but dont know what to ask
Thank you 
I understand completely that’s the same reason I joined the site
Hi Becky,
You are so right about the grief process. I never though of it before as being similar to the same kind of recovery process that survivors go through. It's wonderful to have so much support in this community not only for survivors, but for those who have suffered a loss of a loved one.