Need help coping with loss

Please share your brain aneurysm experience (discovery, symptoms, treatment, to recovery) with fellow members of this community.I have recently just lost my father, age 65, to a brain aneurysm. He died so suddenly while traveling to a wedding with my mother. My dad did not display any symptoms prior to his aneurysmal intracranial hemorrhage other than some headaches and dizzness. He had recently had a tumble on the slip and slide that he bought for he and his grankids to enjoy together, however nothing to extreme that seemed necessary to seek medical attention. When my father passed out he hit his head and that is when they say the massive aneurysm took his life. On arrival to the trauma center the neurologist did some scans and tols my mother that it was so massive it was inoperable. They at that time beleived he was brain dead, his heart was still pumpimg strong but they were unable to do anything to help him come back. He remained on life support for two days until the final tests were done declaring him officially brain dead. The sudden shock and traumatic way he left this world is very hard for me to accept at this time. I am trying to understand why with all the medical advancements now there was nothing they could do. My father was an amazing man with such much love to give this world and I feel as if the life inside me has been sucked out. He was however an organ donor and was able to save three people through giving of himself as he always did here on earth. I am at this time trying to cope and understand this terrible thing they call aneurysm. A beautiful life taken to young, leaving behind so many “What ifs” and questions unanswered, and a hole in so many hearts. My father was a man that touched every single person he met. He gave his whole heart to those in need. I believe that there must be a reason why this has happened and trying to accept the things that I can not change, however I feel guilt and pain for not making the surgeon try to operate or just do something to try and save his life. I need help during this very hard time to make sense or atleast cope with the pain that my family and I are dealing with.

I am sorry for your loss, elizabeth! many prayers and thoughts headed your way. sudden death is always hard and tragic.

Mine was discovered after it ruptured.


Hi Mary Elizabeth,

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Survival from a ruptured aneurysm is greatly influenced by the location of the rupture. This is one reason why some people die suddenly and others are able to survive.

Your writing shows that your father was a very special person. He helped others both during his life and in his death. May you find comfort in your precious memories of him and knowing that he will always be with you in your heart.

May God's peace be with you and your family.


HI, sorry to hear this news. i know it stinks i am a survivor as we are called. Nobody knows why these things are found by chance and like me mine wasnt found till it ruptured. One thing i can say is do family history and have yourself checked and children if you have any. This is a important part of your medical history.Doctors know what they can do and cant, they have a tough time deciding also. For us who survived e have holes in our hearts to cause we arent the same as before, no side wins. In time you will accept what you cant change i tried to stop my dads death from a different health problem but theni realised i cant do this its not in my hands. I encourage you to find a support group for people who lost a loved one and check the groups here i think they have one. feel free to talk anytime.


I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. But from just the little bit that you shared sounds like he went out the way he would want....(having just gone on the slip and slide with the grand kids)

I am a survivor and spent many a days struggling to understand why God had chosen to keep me alive instead of someone else. It's not for me to Question. What I do no Is God has me here to do something big,and in time he will show me what it is....

I know your hurting rite now and I pray that each passing day it becomes easier!

And you always have friends who know a lot about aneurysm here....and by the way my boy friend's father also passed from a Aneurysm.

(((((((((hugs)))))))) dee